woman advice:Ever split with your girl because of that whole commitment thing?

[JR]

I just wanted to hear some more opinions on this subject. Particularly from the man whores here.

My girl and I just split after dating just over 2 years. I'm 24, shes 20. I really don't want kids, and am not studying marriage until I'm in my early 30s and I've got my life established and all the dumb kid stuff out of my system.

My new ex is 20, and a country girl who has this dream of being a stay at home mom with a husband that supports her, so she can take care of the kid and animals. (Sounds more like hell to me)

I'm not country at all and could care less about that. I'd like to think I'd have a level head on my shoulders. I just paid off my house, I've got a couple of Chargers, and some reliable late model transportation. I'd like to think I'm doing pretty well for a 24 year old. I've had to bust my ass working two jobs with alot of 80 hour weeks, but I'm about to be back to a 40 hour job and return to college for a real job.

She is the typical 20 year old girl, who "Knows" everything. What she wants in life, how things should be, etc... There was definatly less time to hang with my friends(who she disliked) while we were together.


There is a whole lot more to the Jerry Springer episode which is my life with her, but these are the highlights.

We split because she was worried that if she stayed with me, she wouldn't get what she wants. (Marriage, kids, etc...) and I was burned out enough on her clinging and bitchin I didn't do anything to change things. So we split.


I guess I just awnsered my own question here, but what are your opinions here?  The correct thing to do is walk away, and party my ass off until it's all out of my system right? I know if I were to marry now, I'd be miserable. I do care for her, but I'd give up my life if I marry her.

So I guess i need motivation. You guys would walk away too right?

[charger Downunder]

Your both too young,and your not ready for a commitment so dont drag her along any longer ,Hey you got a charger what more could you want,
Good luck
Steve

[Rolling_Thunder]

dude...    agreed - you're too damn young...   you shouldnt think about marriage until like....    30   

[2Gunz]

You answer all your own questions.

You dont need our advice.



And just remember..........

Your heart will lie to you.

But your brain wont.

[2Gunz]

Oh ya and 24......

Go get laid.

I didnt do enough of that when I was in my twentys.

Im now 33 and making up for lost time.

[1969chargerrtse]

I used to have a rule that if after two years I didn't see marriage in the works it was time to move on.  It is not a joke and real hard to part with people you care for, but what are you to do?  You know you are to Young to committ for life, she can't hang on forever so you have to part ways, for now.  It's hard now a days.  Back in my Dads time you would be married by now with kids and that would be great.  But we live longer today and get married later on so there is a lot of dating and splitting and it's painful.  Good Luck, you seem to have a good head on your shoulder.  Bottom line is, do you want to be the 50% part that gets divorced, or the 50% part that gets married for life.  You yourself said you're to young, listen to yourself.   

[rav440]

i dont think 24 is to young . but it sounds like the two of you had a very differnt path in life that you wnted to take .
i got married when i was a week away from being 25 and my wife was 24 . after one year dating for 6 months we were ingauged and married within the same year . but her and i see eye to eye on almost evreything and we knew what we wanted out of life . we have been happilly married for 17 years now .

its all about finding the right person . if you have to completly differnt views on life wants and needs i just isnt going to work .

good luck . 

[DodgeByDave]

I'm 45, single, never been married and wouldn't get married even if you paid me.

I come and go as I please. I get drunk and bark at the moon as I please. I have no kids calling someone else daddy and I have no one else's kids calling me daddy.

On Easter I don't get stuck at stupid ass easter egg hunts with children and those that Can't Understand Normal Thinking or Science. I'll catch some racing, work on my charger some, then I might scratch my ass and fart. Later this eve I'll have some roast beast with perhaps a light rose wine.

Next week, If I have a wild hair I'll jet down to the bahamas and enjoy a little of de islands mon.

Trade all that for a broad? NOT FOR SEX OR MONEY!

LoL, nothing changes faster than the speed of what a "woman" wants. Yeah right, she KNOWS what she wants.

remember, there is one thing and only one thing that a woman can do for you that you shouldn't be doing to yourself.

Marriage and Divorce are industries now, not institutions.

Skip both, have a long and happy life.

I am!

[nh_mopar_fan]

It really sonds like you're doing all the right stuff.

Don't walk away from this one, RUN.

[NHCharger]

I'm 49 and  married for 25 years, not sure I qualify for a man whore but I can tell you you did the right thing. 24 and you have paid off your house you are waaayyy ahead of 99% of everyone else your age.
Sounds like your ex has the "princess" syndrome. She'll look for another sugar daddy to support her so she can have two kids and gain 50 pounds sitting on the couch watching Oprah while criticizing you for not spending enough time with your children because your out there working 60+ hours a week to support them and all the frivolous crap that she will buy.
RUN, don't walk away and don't look back. I guarantee something a lot better will come along.

[1969chargerrtse]

I'm 45, single, never been married and wouldn't get married even if you paid me.

I come and go as I please. I get drunk and bark at the moon as I please. I have no kids calling someone else daddy and I have no one else's kids calling me daddy.

On Easter I don't get stuck at stupid ass easter egg hunts with children and those that Can't Understand Normal Thinking or Science. I'll catch some racing, work on my charger some, then I might scratch my ass and fart. Later this eve I'll have some roast beast with perhaps a light rose wine.

Next week, If I have a wild hair I'll jet down to the bahamas and enjoy a little of de islands mon.

Trade all that for a broad? NOT FOR SEX OR MONEY!

LoL, nothing changes faster than the speed of what a "woman" wants. Yeah right, she KNOWS what she wants.

remember, there is one thing and only one thing that a woman can do for you that you shouldn't be doing to yourself.

Marriage and Divorce are industries now, not institutions.

Skip both, have a long and happy life.

I am!

I'm 51 and have been married for 17 years.  I have 3 kids of which one is 4.  We went Easter egg hunting yesterday and it was such a blessing to watch our little 4 year old run around with Mom in hand collecting eggs.  Don't knock it until you've done it.  Kids to me are like sex.  If you don't do it ( have any )  you don't know what you're missing and that's o.k.  Happy easter!

[DodgeByDave]

I'm 45, single, never been married and wouldn't get married even if you paid me.

I come and go as I please. I get drunk and bark at the moon as I please. I have no kids calling someone else daddy and I have no one else's kids calling me daddy.

On Easter I don't get stuck at stupid ass easter egg hunts with children and those that Can't Understand Normal Thinking or Science. I'll catch some racing, work on my charger some, then I might scratch my ass and fart. Later this eve I'll have some roast beast with perhaps a light rose wine.

Next week, If I have a wild hair I'll jet down to the bahamas and enjoy a little of de islands mon.

Trade all that for a broad? NOT FOR SEX OR MONEY!

LoL, nothing changes faster than the speed of what a "woman" wants. Yeah right, she KNOWS what she wants.

remember, there is one thing and only one thing that a woman can do for you that you shouldn't be doing to yourself.

Marriage and Divorce are industries now, not institutions.

Skip both, have a long and happy life.

I am!

I'm 51 and have been married for 17 years.  I have 3 kids of which one is 4.  We went Easter egg hunting yesterday and it was such a blessing to watch our little 4 year old run around with Mom in hand collecting eggs.  Don't knock it until you've done it.  Kids to me are like sex.  If you don't do it ( have any )  you don't know what you're missing and that's o.k.  Happy easter!

Yep, the shitty diapers. Puke and spilled shit everywhere.

Wait until your little princess gets the stud in her tongue. You know what thats for now, don't you dad?

DADDY I NEED NEW TITTIES SO I CAN BE JUST LIKE J-LO


AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAH


tell me again, what am I missing?

[mally69]

Here is what I did..  I met this girl who is great and all. But this might sound kinda mean to do, but its true and what I did. I told her right off the go,  that there is going to be nothing that comes between my engine's and car'S. And that I am going to do what I want, when I want, with no questions asked (( I DON'T mean like cheating on her either )) I aslo told her that if she wasn't able to accept that I have a permanent passion for 68-70 charger's  then she should move on, SHE STAYED.  I do care for her, treat her very well. And she totally accepted all of that, and she even told me to go ahead and do what I want, becuase she wants me to be happy, she says. Neither one of us want kids so thats a definate plus.. And I also make her happy, its not all about me, although it might seem like thats what I am doing. We spend alot of time together.  Oh and partying your ass off being drunk usually makes situaltions like this alot worse. When my friends try to drink away their pain, it wound up making them think about it even more. Don't do that.

Hope everything goes well for you.

[firefighter3931]

I'm 45, single, never been married and wouldn't get married even if you paid me.

I come and go as I please. I get drunk and bark at the moon as I please. I have no kids calling someone else daddy and I have no one else's kids calling me daddy.

On Easter I don't get stuck at stupid ass easter egg hunts with children and those that Can't Understand Normal Thinking or Science. I'll catch some racing, work on my charger some, then I might scratch my ass and fart. Later this eve I'll have some roast beast with perhaps a light rose wine.

Next week, If I have a wild hair I'll jet down to the bahamas and enjoy a little of de islands mon.

Trade all that for a broad? NOT FOR SEX OR MONEY!

LoL, nothing changes faster than the speed of what a "woman" wants. Yeah right, she KNOWS what she wants.

remember, there is one thing and only one thing that a woman can do for you that you shouldn't be doing to yourself.

Marriage and Divorce are industries now, not institutions.

Skip both, have a long and happy life.

I am!

Dave ! 

Your life sounds like a mirror image of mine 

Most of my friends have been married and divorced.....lost half their pensions and their houses. Their long range retirement future doesn't look too rosy either. 

Don't get me wrong, i luv kids but it's all the other bullcrap that you have to deal with that can turn an enjoyable experience into a nightmare. 

Truer words were never spoken : Marriage is the ultimate corporate takeover ! 


JR, you have your act together buddy.   If you have to hook up find some chick that works as hard as you do and makes the same amount of dough and if you ever move in together....rent a house together and move out of yours. Protect your assets and equity at all costs 





Ron

[rav440]

Yep, the shitty diapers. Puke and spilled shit everywhere.

Wait until your little princess gets the stud in her tongue. You know what thats for now, don't you dad?

DADDY I NEED NEW TITTIES SO I CAN BE JUST LIKE J-LO


AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAH


tell me again, what am I missing?

remember, there is one thing and only one thing that a woman can do for you that you shouldn't be doing to yourself.

a left handed mouse ? 

[dodgecharger-fan]

JR, you were right to split.

It has nothing to do with age either. You two simply want different things in life and there's really no compatibility.

Yes, I imagine there are somethings you agree on and enjoy doing together, but ultimately, your paths will drift apart. Worse, you'll likely end up trying to drag each other along your own paths and that's just a recipe for disaster. Even if it works out at the start, whomever gave in will always wonder "What if?"

You have a sound plan for yourself. Stick to it. Find someone that has a similar frame of mind.

[70charginglizard]

I Definately agree with the majority on this one.
Especially if you getting pressured. Thats not good.
Committment decisions like this at that age should always be viewed upon as a very wrong thing!
I see it happen time and time again. and heres what usually ends up happening-

http://www.divorcewizards.com/divorcestats.html


oh, and heres the stuff she wouldn't want you to know if it doesn't work out-

Over 85% percent of divorces are filed by women.  Women know the laws favor them in a divorce.

Most women file for divorce simply because they're unsatisfied (not because of infidelity or abuse).  Most suffer from a case of "the grass is greener on the other side" complex.

Do you think gender matters?  If a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.  If a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $2.95 per minute.  Believe me...Gender matters!  Don't expect to be treated fairly in a divorce.


Oh and another thing. If all else fails. Make her watch this-
http://1970chargerregistry.com/Misc/Elliotad.mpeg
lol

[Mike DC]

 
You're 24 and she's only 20?  Man, watch out for girls like that.  My single friends & I . . . we've started calling them "Ring Wraiths."   

They're like undead zombies from the fires of hell, roaming the earth, posessed with an unquenchable desire to obtain The One True Ring at all costs . . . 





-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting married at 20 & 24 is great for some people but it's definitely not suited for all.

And she's pretty young for demanding that kind of commitment. 
(I'm guessing either she grew up in a family exactly like that and thinks it's still normal, or else her family was absolutely nothing like that and now she idealizes it.)


Don't sweat it.  You don't have to be the type who will f*ck anything that walks just to feel like you're not ready to settle down yet.  There is such a thing as a middle ground on that. 

I know you might wish it could work out with this girl, but it doesn't sound like it's you that is pushing it away.  If you're treating her like a full-blown long term GF and you're not messing around on the side, then you're basically giving her a mostly "married" existence as it is.  If this isn't enough then she probably feels insecure about things or else maybe she wants to start having kids.   

[superduperbee]

Take time to enjoy life. I was 36 when I got married. My wife loves going to car shows, understands this car thing is who I am and will never change.  A previous girlfriend said she would want to marry me if I got rid of the Chargers and quit racing. I told my wife about her when we started dating. She got the message. You have to compromise a little now and then. We went to Disney World for a week, but also hit Garlit's place, Race Rock, NASCAR Cafe, Daytona speedway and a couple car museums along the way. Oh, and having kids isn't all bad, the daughters are getting old enough now that they like helping me with little projects in the garage.

[Brock Samson]

  http://youtube.com/watch?v=-mRTU_7M97Q

[Vainglory, Esq.]

You're clearly not compatible.  Never change yourself for a woman; if she doesn't like you the way you are now, she'll never like you the way you will be 5 years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now.  I know it sucks to break up, but you did the right thing.

That being said, I wouldn't give up on it.  Just wait until the right thing comes along.  Oh, and 20 is waaaay too young for marriage.

[Old Moparz]

Yeah, you definitely answered your own questions on this one & seemed to have made the wise choice of ending it now. The one, biggest, tip off is that she isn't being respectful of what you want from the relationship. If the whole partnership starts out as anything other than a 50-50 agreement on where it goes, & what each of you want, then it will probably end miserably later on. Why involve divorce lawyers who will be the only ones who end up happy?

[Silver R/T]

I wouldnt mind marrying but only when I know I'm marrying right girl. Having a Charger doesn't mean anything. Also your buddies will not be there for you all the time, eventually they will burn you out somehow and then you will have nobody. If you had a good wife she would be there to back you up when your buddies leave you...oh ya, don't count on Charger for emotional help cause it's not happening.

[472 R/T SE]

I was 28 when I hitched up.  Always said I wanted to be 30 so wasn't too far off.  Even at 28 I still had some wild oats to sew.

Problem is when you get that old and want to hook up long term, most chicks have already been in relationships and have a kid or two.  You're endlessly compared to the last one a lot of times and become an instant Dad.  Unless you're like me and rob the cradle. 

A little word of advice.  If you and the now ex hook up again, make sure you suit the little fellow up.  I don't know how many people I know who were trapped with a, "Uh oh, I missed my period last month".   It makes it tough on the current relationship you may have moved on to.
Don't get me wrong, kids are great.  It's a different kind of love and I wouldn't trade the pierced tongue, nose for anything. 

[no318]

I'm 45, single, never been married and wouldn't get married even if you paid me.

I come and go as I please. I get drunk and bark at the moon as I please. I have no kids calling someone else daddy and I have no one else's kids calling me daddy.

On Easter I don't get stuck at stupid ass easter egg hunts with children and those that Can't Understand Normal Thinking or Science. I'll catch some racing, work on my charger some, then I might scratch my ass and fart. Later this eve I'll have some roast beast with perhaps a light rose wine.

Next week, If I have a wild hair I'll jet down to the bahamas and enjoy a little of de islands mon.

Trade all that for a broad? NOT FOR SEX OR MONEY!

LoL, nothing changes faster than the speed of what a "woman" wants. Yeah right, she KNOWS what she wants.

remember, there is one thing and only one thing that a woman can do for you that you shouldn't be doing to yourself.

Marriage and Divorce are industries now, not institutions.

Skip both, have a long and happy life.

I am!

I'm 51 and have been married for 17 years.  I have 3 kids of which one is 4.  We went Easter egg hunting yesterday and it was such a blessing to watch our little 4 year old run around with Mom in hand collecting eggs.  Don't knock it until you've done it.  Kids to me are like sex.  If you don't do it ( have any )  you don't know what you're missing and that's o.k.  Happy easter!

Yep, the shitty diapers. Puke and spilled shit everywhere.

Wait until your little princess gets the stud in her tongue. You know what thats for now, don't you dad?

DADDY I NEED NEW TITTIES SO I CAN BE JUST LIKE J-LO


AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAH


tell me again, what am I missing?

DodgebyDave,
Sounds like kind of a bitter and lonely life.  I'm glad that I don't have to get old all by myself and can have someone to pass along my chargers to. 

On the subject at hand, you two obviously have WAY different goals and priorities.  I am surprised that it lasted as long as it did.  Good for you to pay off your home early in life.