Damn, Is it really Midnight allready?..

[Brock Samson]

The police arrested
Ward Branham, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Lethbridge, Alberta,
in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Ward will be charged with
lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication
at the Calgary courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he
was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is
soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around there for miles. At
least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Ward went
on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a
pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really
into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the
process, Ward apparently failed to notice a police car approaching and
was unaware of his audience until officer Brin Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to (Ward) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin. Taylor
went on to describe what happened when SHE approached Ward."I just went
up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a
pumpkin?" He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and
then looked me straight in the face and said... "A pumpkin? Damn...is it
midnight already?"