Real Classified Ads

[Spike]

        FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
        8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

        FREE PUPPIES:
        1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

        FREE PUPPIES..
        Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
        Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

        FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
        Looks like a rat . Been out a while.
        Better be a big reward.

        COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
        Also 1 gay bull for sale.

        NORDIC TRACK
        $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

        GEORGIA PEACHES
        California grown - 89 cents lb.

        JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
        Must sell washer and dryer $300.

        WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
        Worn once by mistake . Call Stephanie.

        And the best one:

        FOR SALE BY OWNER:
        Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,
        Got married last month. Wife knows everything.