Cost of a wedding, grrrrr, help me feel better [?]

[89MOPAR]

  Now let me preface this by saying [ in case she finds the post ] -" I love you dear and no cost would be too high " - hahaha   

  Wedding of about 60-80 guests/ family . 
  Caterer with a good meal , no appetizers, not extravagant .  Church / Reception room at church for 6 hours.  Wedding dress, Grooms suit [ no tuxedo here !], cake, invitations, photographer,
   beer + soda . Still need to get flowers and some decoration stuff, etc.

  She is pretty simple in what she wanted, nothing is too much extra or frivoulous. We are both in our 30's , so parents aren't paying.
She and I split the cost basically, and I suppose the total cost could have been much higher.
  Right at about $10,000 so far....with maybe another $1000 to spend [?]

  Please chime in if you spent a bunch of $$ at your own, or daughter's or son's wedding.
  Or know of someone who did.
  Or want to tell me I could have bought a new stroker motor , tranny, and rearend for my car at that price level .

  So far she is good with the large percentage of my income I spend on auto hobby / car things. 

[Charger-Bodie]

if she lets you spend money on youre cars , make her happy and let her have her dream wedding.

ps Weddings do cost too much money , considering its all for one day.

[RD]

are all your grooms and bridesmaids renting their own suits/gowns?

when is the wedding (i.e. month)?

i can help you cut corners... my mother did weddings (cakes, catering, coordinating) for years.  I just so happened to be the unpaid labor and observed a lot.

let me know if I can help out.

but really, it all falls down to what SHE wants.  you are just a innocent bystander who regulates carbon dioxide in the air until you say "I DO".

[RECHRGD]

Don't get me going on weddings .  It's good that you will be putting out the money and not the parents.  At least you'll have a personal financial committment invested in your marriage.  Being in your 30's is a good thing also.  I made the mistake years ago of giving my youngest daughter (21) a big wedding and reception.  On top of that I helped them with a down payment on a house.  Naturally, the guy turned out to be a jerk and they divorced a year later.  The house was lost because the jerk spent all their money on toys.  One year later she met Mr. Wonderful #2.  That wedding took place at a chapel in Vegas.  MUCH better on the pocket book this time.  Now, 10 years later, divorce #2 is in progress and guess who is paying for the lawyer?  The real shame of it all is that now there are two kids in the mix and the custody battle is really ugly.   Bob

[autodynamics]

WEDDINGS...HMM THAT ALL DEPENDS ON WHERE AND WHAT KINDA OF WEDDING I GUESS YOU CAN PULL ONE OFF FOR 1OK-100K MINE WAS AROUND 50K AND WE WERE CONSERVATIVE AND WE BOTH PAID. I SAY HAVE A INEXPENSIVE BUT CLASSY WEDDING NO SWEAT PANTS PLEASE....AND ENJOY YOUR MONEY ON EACH OTHER AND A HOME. WEDDINGS IN YEARS TO COME WILL BE A THING OF THE PAST. MORE AND MORE PEOPLE WILL BE SIGNIFICANT OTHERS AND NOT "MARRIAGE" THE DIVORCE THING IS OUT A CONTROL ESPECIALLY FOR THE MAN HE ALWAYS IS AT A DISADVANTAGE.   

[The70RT]

If your spending your car money.....elope...go to Vegas or somewhere. Get one of those specials on airfair and motel then have your honeymoon there too. Hey she may go for it 

[Troy]

RD is a wedding planner? Who'd have guessed...

$10,000 sounds reasonable (cheap actually) in relation to some of what I've seen. I had one friend as well as my sister who opted for a small wedding at a chapel in Gatlinburg with a reception later. Very cheap wedding(s) because there were no extravagant decorations, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and they didn't have to pay for guests (family) hotel rooms. My sister got a package deal for like $600 for the Chalet, Chapel, pictures, and cake. Not sure what my friend paid. The receptions were a bit more but I'm thinking no more than $3,000 for either. That's about the cheapest I've seen other than my mom and step father's wedding where they got married at the house. Wedding days are extremely precious for women so this is the one thing you definitely don't wanna screw up.

Troy

[bull]

Go to Vegas.

[skip68]

Go to Vegas.

Yeah! And come visit other Mopar peep's!
Mrs.Skip68

[RD]

 

RD is a wedding planner? Who'd have guessed...

not really, and no I do not have a booty like J-Lo hehe

[Khyron]

If you think a wedding is expensive try a divorce 

Seriously though, it's a one time thing, women dream of these things there entire lives. If you make her happy, she'll make you happy.

Spend up and enjoy the ride! 

[skip68]

RD is a wedding planner? Who'd have guessed...

 

not really, and no I do not have a booty like J-Lo hehe

Mrs.Skip68

[dkn1997]

Think of it this way, it might make you feel better:  whatever the wedding costs, it won't cost nearly as much as the divorce, so you have that going for you. 


No matter how you slice it, weddings are a nice fancy way to piss away huge amounts of money.  no way around it.  even if you stay married for 70 years, it's still paying for a memory.  Nothing really wrong with that, but it's an easier pill to swallow if you just face the reality now.

Here is a tip:  make the wedding as fun as possible.  think about any wedding you have ever gone to, which ones do you remember?  for me, it's certianly not the food or the flowers, it's the ones I had a good time at.  so make sure you get a really good band/dj and have a good selection of booze with ample amounts of bartenders. 

[The70RT]

I guess ask the lady what she want's. If she want's a fancy wedding then go for it. If she says it doesn't matter and you both can be happy with a cheaper deal and save money then their you go. If years down the road you break up over what you  BOTH agreed upon well it wasn't meant to be.

[89MOPAR]

 Thanks folks !
RD- the wedding is next month, pretty much everything is contracted or arranged already _ I wish i had thought to ask sooner for help though. I think we did OK in picking out service providers, hopefully i still think that the day after...
     No groomsmen or bridesmaids, so we escaped expense there. People I would have picked will be in the "audience" at the church anyhow, is how I figured it. Thanks for the offer. Any generic info you may post could still help me or another[?]
   The caterers have done several events at that church - should be a plus.  Did not use a coordinator.  What about tipping the caterers, supposedly there will be 5 people from the caterer ?   Minister/ priest is a non-religious friend from work who got some license thru the internet - so no cost there.

The Gailtlinburg "combo" seems way cheap !

Funny thing is we will be in Vegas next year June 7th, for a friends wedding, where i am the "best man".  I can't hold our wedding off that long though.... and my arguement for justice of the peace and two witnesses didn't fly.

I think you'all are right about give her what she wants if i get to spend  money on car parts. Her parents got married at the same church, so it repeats some family history sort-of.

  Been together 3 years, but we've both controlled our own money - it might be hard asking if it's ok to buy new ignition parts or whatever. I'm so used to getting what I want, if i can afford it. Maybe I should just hand over my wallet when i get home later....

Rechrgd - Would you feel obligated to pay for a 3rd wedding if that was in the cards for your daughter ?   This isn't meant to be a pointed question, just it seems it would be hard to say no, I think i already dread that situation and I don't have children yet !     Bet you wanted to give her exes a good kick in the ass.

I saw some "dream weddings" type TV show where the parents must have dropped $200K plus. Among other things, they had an 8 course meal,rented about $20K in furniture, and rented some chandeliers for $2000 apiece !! . But some Hollywood movie star used those same chandeliers at their wedding so I guess it is justifiable [?] . I suppose it is relative to your net worth what is extravagant or not, and it's different for each couple.

Autodynamics - I think your right about the eventual move to domestic partnerships.  or maybe something like a 5 year renewable contract if both parties agree to continue.

[69_500]

Not exactly sure with the wedding described how it even came up to a $10K wedding.

Me and my wife were married 5 years ago, with about 150 guest, and a catered meal at the reception, photographer, dj and all. I think excluding the price of the honeymoon we spent right at $3,500 for the whole kit and kabootle. Most expensive part was the $1,500 for a photographer, that I personally hated. Was supposedly the #1 rated photographer in the city, and man I'll tell you this I take pictures 100 times better than those crappy people did. Heck they were even late for the wedding. Anyways, as long as you have a good day, that to me is all that matters. I'll tell you this, being married is the second best thing to have ever happened in my life. The best thing was becoming a dad.

[89MOPAR]

  The ringbearer is going to be our dog, attach rings to his collar. Call him up at the right time.
  Going to play some heavy metal during service - " Holy Diver" by Dio  will introduce the priest for example.  I think some older folks will be shocked 
  We are keeping the music selections secret from the guests. But no "wedding march" song , or elevator "muzak"
  Getting cake shaped like pyramid, no special reason, just something different.

  There were a few things like this that we discussed and laughed about beforehand, so we are going to do them.  It should make for good memories.

   Ugghhh , Divorce - think positive, think positive ! [ note to self]

   Oh, I am chargerless since i bought the sportscar, but I think we will do a burnout and drive away in the Aspen Super Coupe       , but of course !

[Charger-Bodie]

I wanted to have my dog in our wedding, I was gonna call her the ring burier! sounds like you are going to have a very memerable event!!

[89MOPAR]

69 500 - this is how it broke down -

Caterer - $4200
Church / reception room - $1500
Cake for 75 people - $400
Grooms clothes - $400
Wedding dress - $ 800  I think , and shoes + hair [?]
Photographer - $1000 - she went to a wedding show and said almost all the photographers were snooty and wanted things done "their way" , except the people she picked.
Invitations - $500
Beer / soda / liquor - $ 500+ [?]
Flowers - ?   Tipping staff - ?  Decorations for church - ?
  I'm sure I'm forgeting some stuff.....  it's a nighttime sunset wedding, so apparently ettiquette says you should feed guests, hence the major expense.

I told her to register us at Summit Racing. 

[RallyeMike]

1. Sorry to hear you sold the survivor Charger.

2. Congrats on the nups!

[Daytona R/T SE]

Back when we got married, the lovely state of Illinois required blood tests for aids, and all kind of other creepy things. The Ol' lady HATES needles. I told her to get on the phone (No computers or internet back then-it was the dark ages) and find a state that didn't need a f^&king blood test. We drove down to the courthouse in Nashville, Tennesee, and for 26 bucks the deed was done. By a guy in a blue velvet and satin suit jacket 

After a short trip to Opryland we came home-I think the whole trip including the hotel cost me $150.

Yes, she's still here...It'll be 19 years in May...

[89MOPAR]

 Rally Mike - It lives up in wisconsin now - the survivor charger .  A fellow whose dad bought a similar one new in 73 has it now.   He's extremely happy with it, I got a promise out of him that if he ever sells it , he will give me first dibs.
   Although he says he'll keep it until he's dead.

[The70RT]

Back when we got married, the lovely state of Illinois required blood tests for aids, and all kind of other creepy things. The Ol' lady HATES needles. I told her to get on the phone (No computers or internet back then-it was the dark ages) and find a state that didn't need a f^&king blood test. We drove down to the courthouse in Nashville, Tennesee, and for 26 bucks the deed was done. By a guy in a blue velvet and satin suit jacket 

After a short trip to Opryland we came home-I think the whole trip including the hotel cost me $150.

Yes, she's still here...It'll be 19 years in May...

I hear ya.........a small church 30 years ago and yep shes still here. Since than we have done fun stuff on our aniversarys to make up for it. We got married on new years eve so always something to do even if you don't spend a ton of cash.

[Chryco Psycho]

Congrats Paul
FAr too long since we talked , I assume the Cuda is gone also , still have The Bike ?
Neil

[Marck]

Hey..

Got married earlier this year, so I know where you're comming from...

Our wedding cost around 25.000$, including the honeymoon to Thailand.

It's a memory of a lifetime, no doubt. Would I have been just fine with a smaler wedding? Off course. But we cut a deal, I bought a charger, and she got the wedding she wanted. 

Seems like a fair trade, also since the charger will probably end up costing me more than the wedding...

One advice for you:

Not knowing your relatives, so this might not be an issue, but keep in mind that this is your and your soon to be wife's day, so there's no sense in trying to please everyone else.
This was not a problem for us, since we made it very clear from the start, that we wanted to do things our way.

Congrats, and I hope you have a perfect day..

-Marck