Telemarketers - What to say

[4402tuff4u]

Last night I was working on my garage on several trim pieces for the Charger. Right in the middle of doing something the phone rang. I let the phone ring and the answering machine picked up the call, so I just continued with my work. This happened several times in a hours time. I was not worried that it was a family member because they all have my cell number and my kids were inside upstairs doing their homework. The only one out was my wife and she's got my cell #. Anyway, on one of my breaks with the polisher off the phone rang again, this time I picked it up since it had rang many times before and no one had left a message. Well, sure enough it was an effing telemarketer about possibly having my chimney cleaned. I said to the poor girl on the other end of the phone to give me her home phone number and that I would call her later on the week at a time that was convenient for me. I was so pissed!! They also seem to call right in the middle of dinner!
I should have asked her what was she wearing, what kind of panties she likes to wear, what are her sexual fantasies, what is her favorite..etc.. Maybe at that point she would realize that I was intruding into her privacy as she has done by calling me without soliciting for a freaking chimney cleanup!!

How do some of you handle these calls. I know there is a national number that you can register to have your phone number removed from the telemarketer lists. I did that several years ago but I still get the calls. 

[ramit]

I think there was a seinfeld episode where jerry got a telemarketing call and he told the person he was busy at the time and asked for their home phone number so he could call them later that night.  The telemarketer would not give him the number and he said don't you like people bothering you at home and the telemarketer said no and Jerry said either do I and hung up.   At least I think that is how it went.  Anyways, I like that way of handling it.  I signed up on the national "do not call list"  and I only get about 1 call every couple of weeks and before that I got about 3 or 4 a day.

[Old Moparz]

The first thing I do, & that's if I pick up, is let them finish their well rehearsed sales pitch. (You always have to be polite & you never know when they might be offering a free Hemi with new replacement windows.) Usually it's followed by a question asking me how soon I would want what they're offering, so I answer with a question of my own.

"How did you get my unlisted number?"

It doesn't matter what the answer is, because I then explain to them I am on several "Do Not Call" lists & will make sure they are contacted by those agencies. (I don't think that's possible, but it shuts them up quickly.) The few who are persistent & obnoxious, just get a simple "I am not interested" & the sound of the phone being hung up.

My father has a lot more free time & enjoys playing. He once got a call for one of those time share vacations, & let them go on for 15 minutes with the sales pitch. He then asked question after question about what recreation they had, what stores were close, whether they had games for outdoors & others. When they thought they had the sale, he asked if they had anyone to help him around since he was blind & had lost his legs. After a long pause they said they would check on it & call him back. They didn't.

[nh_mopar_fan]

Newspaper calls and asks if I want delivery "I'm sorry, I'm blind"

If my wife answers and it's obviously a sales call, I wait about 10 seconds and then start screaming "Is that your boyfriend?!"

Then I walk up and slap my hands together behind her and she gived out a yelp and says "I have to go."

It never gets old.

[4402tuff4u]

Some of the suggestions are funny!!

[Badbob]

"click"

[RD]

Newspaper calls and asks if I want delivery "I'm sorry, I'm blind"

If my wife answers and it's obviously a sales call, I wait about 10 seconds and then start screaming "Is that your boyfriend?!"

Then I walk up and slap my hands together behind her and she gived out a yelp and says "I have to go."

It never gets old.

bwhahahhahahahahaha   

[bull]

In the past I've handed the phone to my daughter and told her it was Chucky E. Cheese, but I decided that wasn't fair to my duaghter.

Other times I've pretended the telemarketer was a long-lost friend. Once one of them asked for me and I said no, he's not here, he's dead and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful memory. Another time I just started making up a story and told it while the guy was trying to make his pitch and another time I just kept saying hello over and over until they hung up.

Too much fun.

[andy74]

the small air horns that you get at the marina make a nice response,if they are rude-if they seem polite i just tell them no thanks,and may throw in a go f' yourself,depends on my mood!

[Brock Samson]

Being as i worked as a telemarketer for a few years I'm polite but firm, but i'm also on the Do Not Call list. i recive very few calls now, SPAM however is a different matter...

https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

[Vainglory, Esq.]

Get on the do not call list.  Otherwise, "thanks but I'm not interested" is entirely sufficient.

They're just people on the other end of the phone, and they probably don't like what they're doing either.

[4402tuff4u]

Thanks Strat! I re-registered. Thanks for the link.

[Ponch ®]

this is how you deal with telemarketers:

http://www.jimflorentine.com/mp3s/no-no.mp3

http://www.jimflorentine.com/mp3s/still-on-phone.mp3

http://www.jimflorentine.com/mp3s/contradiction.mp3

theyre from Jim Florentine's series of Terrorizing Telemarketers CD's.

[sunfire69]

My dad used to make an appointment with them to come to the house. He'd give them directions to the middle of no where, I mean way out in the middle!!! he'd make it as late as they would let him so it was after dark. The next night he'd get another phone call from them saying they could find the place so he'd change a left turn to a right turn and have them try again. After they wasted two nights driving around in the dark he'd tell them he changed his mind 'cause they took too long and not to call again.
Funny thing is they didn't either.
Jerry

[Silver R/T]

id ask her email lol
but anyways in our state they got new law that they cant call you without displaying their info so you can sue them for soliciting. You know what phone calls stopped, maybe once in 2 months one of companies calls, but displays their info.

[Ponch ®]

They're just people on the other end of the phone, and they probably don't like what they're doing either.

thats what my brother does for a "job".   

he doesnt sell anything nowadays (though he used to work for another company that sold cable subscriptions), but he does those annoying surveys. He says he doesnt care if people hang up or tell him to f-off....he gets paid anyway.

[Mass_Mopar]

it's fun to just say Hi can you hold on a minute?  then put the phone down and see how long they wait.  They usually don't make it past 5 minutes.  "Mr Anderson, are you still there......................"

[Just 6T9 CHGR]

You can always tell a telemarketer phone call by the amount of time for them to answer you when you say hello.

No response within a second........click

[MoparYoungGun]

No response within a second........click

.

[Lowprofile]

What ever happened to our right to privacy? Telemarketers [the companies] should be outlawed. If I, the consumer, want something, I'll get in my car and go and get it. I don't want or need anyone calling my home at dinner time or anytime for that matter.   

[ChargerAndy]

The New York Times called me and tried to sell me a subscription..... the guy just went into his rant and when he finished he asked, " what do you say?" I replied that I could not read...... he said, "oh, I'm sorry" and then I replied, "thats ok, I get by" *CLICK*      Andy

[Headrope]

I see it as them just being people trying to do a job - so will usually listen and then politely tell them to never call again.
What ticks me off is when they hang up while I'm trying to be polite.
The "Do Not Call" list is bogus and not something that can be enforced. What needs to happen is for a law to be passed making it possible for us to call telemarketers back.
Why is it they can call me at any time of the day despite my phone number being on a do not call list, yet I cannot call them even during business hours?

[bull]

The New York Times called me and tried to sell me a subscription..... the guy just went into his rant and when he finished he asked, " what do you say?" I replied that I could not read...... he said, "oh, I'm sorry" and then I replied, "thats ok, I get by" *CLICK*      Andy

Good one.

[Rocky]

I unplugged my land line months ago.  However, I was regularly receiving 4+ calls a day before that.  Usually, I was very polite, and told them that I was not interested.  If they seemed too pushy though, here is how the conversation would go:

Me:  "May I ask you a question?"

Them:  "Sure"  or some variation there of if they don't try to restate their script.

Me:  "How old are you"

Now my response is based on how they answer this question:

Them:  (Their response doesn't really matter)

Me:  If they are younger than me (22),  I laugh hysterically, and finally ask "if their mother knows that they are using the phone"
If they respond that they are older than me, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH............................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA........Is this the best job you can get?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH"    Then I hang up.