Stupidist things you have EVER heard......

[beedees]

 :smilielol My wife has been buying all the globes she can find lately, so naturally I became curious and asked her why. Seems our neighbor lady told her that they (whoever "they"  are ) were going to MOVE the equator.... thats right, move the equator and all the world globes would have to be changed and the old ones would become collectors items. Maybe something to do with global warming.....I know of at least two women who have definitley been out in the sun too long. Anything like this happened to anyone else out there? (hum the theme song from " The Twilight Zone" while reading this, it helps)

[Drache]

"you want HOW much for that old car? I can get one exactly like it on ebay for half the price!"

"Then go buy one from ebay!"

"Fine I will, what is it, a '75 Charger?"

"'70 actually...."

"Oh well all the Chargers look so much alike it's hard to tell, bye"

"bye"

*real conversation sent to me by a friend*

[moparguy01]

on a vehicle we are doing at work, a Honda S2000, he had us install "overfenders" to clear bigger tires, but they basically look like extremely cheap bushwhacker fender flares. I'd laugh at that but its true so its really just sad.
anyways he got a set of 295/40r18s for it and they stick 2 inches past the bushwhackers. The place that sold him the tires told him they will fit you just have to tilt the top of the tire in on both sides to make it fit. 

[Old Moparz]

Back in the mid 80's, a friend of mine named Jim bought a Corvette that was just a couple of years old. A few of us were hanging out at another friend's house when he showed up, to show us his new car. One guy, named Mike, who was a friend of a friend was there. Now, you have to know Mike & expect stupid things. His nick-name was "Doopty-Doop if you need any indication of his intelligence level.

So after we were checking out the Vette, Doopty-Doop asks, "Why the hell did you get a fiberglass one? The metal ones are much better."

There's more Doopty-Doop stories, like the time he drank a bunch of beers, a bunch of shots, many, many Alabama Slammers, & after he threw up on the bar in a club, said, "I'm not sick from drinking, I have poison ivy."   

[41husk]

When I bought my 68, I actually bought two of them.  They were delivered from Nampa Idaho to IL.  They arived after 10 pm and it was verry cold.  I was having them dropped at the High school (to keep my wife from knowing I bought two more cars)  I had a few wrestlers come help me unload them and push them into the auto shop.  The one with know engine or tranny was the last to come off.  The hood was off and one of my wrestlers was standing at the front of the car pushing as hard as he could, but the car was not budging, looking down into the empty engine compartment clearly displaying no tranny was installed, the young mab said " coach, check the shifter, I think it is still in park".  I almost fell of the truck when the kid next to him climbs arounf to check.

[71ChallengeHer]

I had a customer ask me "What's in a Rum and Coke ? " 

[68chrgrwife]

Will you marry me?

[Drache]

Will you marry me?

 

[Daytona R/T SE]

It's 20 years ago, and the Ol' Lady had just moved in with me.

We were both in my car and I'm backing it out of my old crappy garage.

It was late fall/early winter and getting cold outside.

When she spotted the jugs of anti-freeze on the shelf she said:

" Don't you think you should take that Anti-Freeze into the house before it freezes?"

[70charger_boy]

I had a customer ask me "What's in a Rum and Coke ? " 

Yeah, you still never answered my question

[71ChallengeHer]

I had a customer ask me "What's in a Rum and Coke ? " 

Yeah, you still never answered my question

[Orange_Crush]

Okay...hands-down winner here.

The night Princess Diana bought it, my brothers, their fiancees, and my wife and I were out in my boat.  It was nighttime and we were listening to the radio when the DJ broke in and said that Princess Diana jad just been involved in a very bad car accident (her condition was still unknown).  The DJ went on to say that the car had been moving at a high rate of speed and was being chased by paparazzi.  We all sat quietly for a moment and then my future sister in law piped in and asked.

"Isn't he an opera singer?"

[70charger_boy]

Okay...hands-down winner here.

The night Princess Diana bought it, my brothers, their fiancees, and my wife and I were out in my boat.  It was nighttime and we were listening to the radio when the DJ broke in and said that Princess Diana jad just been involved in a very bad car accident (her condition was still unknown).  The DJ went on to say that the car had been moving at a high rate of speed and was being chased by paparazzi.  We all sat quietly for a moment and then my future sister in law piped in and asked.

"Isn't he an opera singer?"

that is not that stupid

[71ChallengeHer]

Back in the mid 80's, a friend of mine named Jim bought a Corvette that was just a couple of years old. A few of us were hanging out at another friend's house when he showed up, to show us his new car. One guy, named Mike, who was a friend of a friend was there. Now, you have to know Mike & expect stupid things. His nick-name was "Doopty-Doop if you need any indication of his intelligence level.

So after we were checking out the Vette, Doopty-Doop asks, "Why the hell did you get a fiberglass one? The metal ones are much better."

There's more Doopty-Doop stories, like the time he drank a bunch of beers, a bunch of shots, many, many Alabama Slammers, & after he threw up on the bar in a club, said, "I'm not sick from drinking, I have poison ivy."   

Wow , Shelby even knew all Vettes were fiberglass.

[69bronzeT5]

Wow , Shelby even knew all Vettes were fiberglass.

Im not a huge fan of Vettes and ever I knew that

[Old Moparz]

Back in the mid 80's, a friend of mine named Jim bought a Corvette that was just a couple of years old. A few of us were hanging out at another friend's house when he showed up, to show us his new car. One guy, named Mike, who was a friend of a friend was there. Now, you have to know Mike & expect stupid things. His nick-name was "Doopty-Doop if you need any indication of his intelligence level.

So after we were checking out the Vette, Doopty-Doop asks, "Why the hell did you get a fiberglass one? The metal ones are much better."

There's more Doopty-Doop stories, like the time he drank a bunch of beers, a bunch of shots, many, many Alabama Slammers, & after he threw up on the bar in a club, said, "I'm not sick from drinking, I have poison ivy."   

Wow , Shelby even knew all Vettes were fiberglass.

Smart girl. 

Funny thing about 'ol Doopty-Doop was, when we all talked to one another we always referred to him as Doopty-Doop & hardly ever called him Mike. People would look at us oddly & either ask who was Doopty-Doop, or what's a Doopty-Doop, or why do you call him Doopty-Doop?

I'd always tell them that if they spoke to him for a couple of minutes they'd know why.   

Poor guy couldn't drive either. He once had the same 1968 Mustang in the body shop for stupid accidents 3 times in less than 6 months.   

I rode in his car once.   

I decided if I wanted to get that same scared feeling ever again, I'd ride duct taped to the front of a New York City cab with a blind taxi driver from the Mid-East in rush hour traffic.

[AKcharger]

"Mrs Clinton will make a fine President"   

[70charger_boy]

"Mrs Clinton will make a fine President"   

and Mr Clinton will make a really fine first lady 

[pettyfan43]

"Mrs Clinton will make a fine President"   

Your Next President, BARAK OBAMA!   

Sorry this was supposed to be Stupid NOT Scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mike DC]

 
Umm . . . I don't think it's the Republicans who have room to giggle about "stupidest things we've ever heard" from the political arena.

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Let's not get political with this thread.

[The70RT]

Dumb Hiway patrollman.

I was on the highway in the same lane for miles when a car was entering on the on ramp and it was far enough back that I stayed in my lane, and he merged in behind me about 15 car lengths. I see these flashing lights behind me like 1/8 mile he came up and pulled me over. He came to the car and said what are you doing changing lanes and cutting off that car? I said what are you talking about? He says you changed lanes in front of him. I said I have been in this same lane since I left the stadium. He says " Are you sure?" and me and everyone in the car said yes I never chaned lanes. He says ok sorry you can go

[70charger_boy]

Dumb Hiway patrollman.

I was on the highway in the same lane for miles when a car was entering on the on ramp and it was far enough back that I stayed in my lane, and he merged in behind me about 15 car lengths. I see these flashing lights behind me like 1/8 mile he came up and pulled me over. He came to the car and said what are you doing changing lanes and cutting off that car? I said what are you talking about? He says you changed lanes in front of him. I said I have been in this same lane since I left the stadium. He says " Are you sure?" and me and everyone in the car said yes I never chaned lanes. He says ok sorry you can go

Maybe, the cop was gay and thought you were cute

[Drache]

"the dodge-charger.com t-shirts will be shipped out shortly...."

[Bandit72]

i went and picked up an engine today...guy told me on the phone he had a "440 and tranny with 70k miles for $350) i told him i'd be there this evening to get it, and to hang onto it.....well i got there at almost sun down ( an hour behind schedule cause the tranny in my truck is working pretty hard at biting the bullet) pull the tarp off and the distributor is in the back of the engine...exhaust manifolds are off because it was ran in a derby, all the wiring has been butchered, and the valve covers are beat to shit...well i tell him it's not  a 440 and this dude FLIPS starts telling me i'm full of shit and he knows his F*in engines....i explain that the distributors are on the front of a 440 and he tell me only the 440 HEMI's came out that way i finally had to show him where it was stamped "360" on the block.....anyway i still got it, but i only gave him 200 for it as he wanted it gone anyway....

[69bronzeT5]

"the dodge-charger.com t-shirts will be shipped out shortly...."