does anyone have the pigs are in the truck honking joke?..

[Brock Samson]

i do belive it's my fav. joke of all time,.. 
about a farmer who doesn't understand the Vet's answer when he asks how to git his piggs to breed...
it was on the old site i belive and to my mind was somewhat better then the best way to clean a cat... something to do with lureing your kitty into the toilet and then flushing.. I'd like that one too please... 

[John_Kunkel]

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help.

The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead, lay down & wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up & gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.

So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back & goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes & looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up & drives them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud.

'No,' she says, 'they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn.

[Brock Samson]

 

THANKS, this site is the bestist in the whole wide world... 

[waroc]

  thats funny right there, i don't care who ya are.....

[68chrgrwife]

eewwww...lol

[Fitz73Chrgr]

 

[70charger_boy]

[Brock Samson]

  just bumpin this for the new guys - it being one of my all time favs... 

[TylerCharger69]

That's hilarious!!!

[PocketThunder]

just bumpin this for the new guys - it being one of my all time favs... 

I think you want to be the farmer...        i kid! i kid!    

[Brock Samson]

  oh, I've banged a few Pigs in my time.. 

[Blown70]

oh, I've banged a few Pigs in my time.. 

It happens, esp. when alcohol is involved....

[mopar73]

Oh the memories

[Khyron]

oh, I've banged a few Pigs in my time.. 

It happens, esp. when alcohol is involved....

The first time around I married one.... wait..... do blow pigs count?

[PocketThunder]

oh, I've banged a few Pigs in my time.. 

It happens, esp. when alcohol is involved....

The first time around I married one.... wait..... do blow pigs count?

You can call them whatever you want my good man.  Was she festively plump when you married her?  Or did she cook real well once you got married.. 

[Khyron]

neither, she couldn't cook and was skinny....... blew right up after the ring

[PocketThunder]

neither, she couldn't cook and was skinny....... blew right up after the ring

It happens to the best of us.   

[chargergirl]

eewwww...lol

I agree...eeewww but funny!

[Grim Jhaixus]

That's a good one.

I lucked out I guess, mine blew up before the ring... but still after the question.

[Tilar]

oh, I've banged a few Pigs in my time.. 

I don't remember going to bed with any but I've woke up with a few... Sure makes you think twice about that 6th or 7th drink. Seems like once you break over that threshhold, the only qualification they have to meet is 'breathing on their own'.