Darned If I Know

[jgbailey57]

 A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a
little
>> perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh,
I
>> wonder what happened to this parrot?"
>>
>>   The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
>>
>>   "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered

>> me!"
>>
>>   "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
>> intelligent
>> thoroughly educated bird."
>>
>>   "Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto
your
>> perch without any feet?"
>>
>>   "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you
>> asked,
>> I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't
see
>> it
>> because of my feathers."
>>
>>   "Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English
can't
>> you?"
>>
>>   "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
with
>> reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
sports,
>> physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
ought
>> to
>> buy me I'd be a great companion."
>>
>>   The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
afford
>> that."
>>
>>   "Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is,
nobody
>> wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for
$20;
>> just
>> make the guy an offer!"
>>
>>   The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>>
>>   Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
humor,
>> he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
>> sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
>>
>>   One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
>> "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know
if I
>> should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the
postman."
>>
>>   "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>>
>>   "When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
at
>> the
>> door in a sheer black nightie."
>>
>>   "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
>>
>>   "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her
nightie
>> and
>> began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
>>
>>   "NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
>>
>>   "Yes.  Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his
knees
>> and began to kiss her all over...."
>>
>>   Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
>>
>>   "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

[70charger_boy]