I'm going through the big "D"........ IT's OFFICIAL!!!

[Telvis]

It's been a long time coming. My wife is bipolar and it's been a long uphill battle. When we married almost five years ago I was unaware of the severity of her illness. We dater for over a year and lived together close to a year. She concealed it very well. Six months into the marriage things began to unravel. I tried all I could but we just could not make it work. I am now free of all the stress associated with my soon to be ex's condition. I have returned to working on my car and spending more time with my kids. Life is much better now. My goal is to have my car on the road by the end of the month. it's a bit optimistic but I think I can do it.
I have a lot of spare time now. I plan to be back on the site a whole lot more. Even though the divorce is a positive thing, it is still a difficult time. It's nice to come here and read about everything going on. It's a really nice distraction.

[moparsons]

Divorces are always rough..... good luck......hang in there and get that car done!!!

[GTX]

I can't speak about divorce but my sister is bipolar so I can relate to how hard it is to cope.

She is in denial half the time depending on where she is in her cycles and if she feels like being open or not. It's very difficult to cope with and some in my family have felt guilty for separating ourselves from her but it's best. We simply cannot maintain a healthy relationship with her and refuse to enable her or cater to her anymore. She goes on and then off the meds and it shows....to everyone but her.
I'm not sure how her marriage is doing now but it was doing poorly and then her husband also went into denial detaching from the reality.
It's just really rough but I think I'm better off separating from all the drama and stress that swirls around her and it only gets worse over time, not better. I used to get phone calls in the middle of the night with all sorts of weird and odd behavior.

Is your ex-wife bright? I've noticed that the few people I've known with this have all been very bright. They sort of need to be to be able to conceal it as they do. My sister is very artistic as well. Anyone else in ex's family like that? My mother was pretty psycho as well........maybe I am too!!   

 
Good luck, brighter days are ahead after the stress. Bust the stress out on the car!

[Shakey]

When I saw the title of the thread, I figured you were passing through Dallas and I was gonna recomend a good steakhouse.   

Hang in there! 

[bandit67]

Met the most beautiful lady I have ever had ......she had many of the qualities I was looking for . At six months she kinda got to pushing for a marriage date. Something in the back of my mind said wait.  Boy , was I ever lucky, after a little more than a year all kinds of nasties came  out.  Remember the old rule ,ALWAYS, go thru the four seasons with someone before you marry.........still searching..........J

[hemihead]

My sister is bipolar and Manic Depressive. My ex was Bipolar but never got help for it. I have been divorced for 7 years now and my life is soooo much better now.Keep the faith, the worst is over. Funny how women completely change once they get a ring and a license.They must think a
Marriage License is the title to a man's soul.

[mikepmcs]

Sorry and not sorry because you did the right thing as it can only spiral and most likely get worse.  Divorce is never easy, but glad you seem to be taking it in stride and you'll be much happier in the long run.  Hang in there.  Hope the kids are handling it well as they are the ones that will need most of the nurturing and understanding on this one.

v/r
Mike

Dave
You are right on about the creativity deal as it has been linked to this as well as a disability.

Here's a couple clips i found,

Studies have also indicated increased striving for, and sometimes obtaining, goals and achievements more generally; in other words, many with bipolar disorder tend to be more driven, extremely goal oriented, and hard working.

Creativity has long time been associated with genius, mental illness and humour. Some say it is a trait we are born with; others say it can be taught with the application of simple techniques.

"Creativity, it has been said, consists largely of re-arranging what we know in order to find out what we do not know." George Kneller


I put some(because I don't want to get slaughtered here) psychologists and people that study other people in this category.  I truly believe people enter the psych world and try to understand others because they have a slight mental deficiency themselves and are actually trying to figure their own life out.  I have nothing against them or their chosen profession, just my observation over the years.  Everyone I have ever met(mostly female) that are in school for this or are studying this, have always been a little thwacked.  I have real life examples if anyone is interested.

v/r
Mike

[my73charger]

Hang in there! There is a brighter day on its way for sure!

[Wheels of Terror]

We are here for you, so vent away. It is a very difficult time to go through regardless of the circumstances. I am divorced myslef. My ex's friends were getting divorced and moving back in with thier mother and father. They started to go to bars alot and abuse alot of the drugs that they had done in high school. Well, my husband hated being sober and missed the fun.  He had also cheated on me and Ii trusted him so very much that very obvious signs went right past me. I was also not the jealous type. Well, that relationship with this woman only lasted a month. I have never hurt so much in my life.  It was easy paper work wise. I didn't want anything but him and my two cats. I couldn't have him. I gave him all of our material stuff. I just took MY tools. Alot of people gave me crap about not milking him for even a dime.  Having a little one makes it difficult, but you will see in time that it was worth it. you will be more energized and have more peace in your life. Stay fcival and respectful to her for your child's sake.  It will make your relationship with your child stronger, especially during a time like this. Take care of yourself completely.  Do what gives you joy.

[TruckDriver]

Hang in there Telvis. You have plenty of family here to support you. 

[jackel440]

I think you did the right thing.You have kids and you have to be healthy for them and a situation like that will definatly drag you down.
My cousin is going through the exact same thing.his wife wouldn't take her meds anymore and she left is now running around with some known drug dealer.his kids told him if he takes her back again they won't be back.He finally opened his eyes and is selling all thier crap and getting a divorce.His health isn't good anyways and he doesn't need these problems.
Keep your chin up and good luck

[Silver R/T]

sorry this happening to your family, I know cause my parents divorced and I never saw them happy together so maybe it was a good thing.

[Charger-Bodie]

holy crap mike i think i might be bi polar!!!

Studies have also indicated increased striving for, and sometimes obtaining, goals and achievements more generally; in other words, many with bipolar disorder tend to be more driven, extremely goal oriented, and hard working.

[Charger-Bodie]

.........and by the way telvis divorce costs alot because its worth it !!! also just remember to learn from it cause its never only 1 persons fault so try to better youreself from the ordeal and and good luck next time im on my second marriage and my girl now is awesome !!!

[6pkrunner]

Still a tough thing to go through, despite the circumstances. Sounds like your life until recently has been more than a handful. Good luck and all the best.

[41husk]

Best of luck Telvis I hope it all works out.

[RD]

good luck telvis, get the car in someone elses name that you trust so she doesnt get it to just sell it on you..

better to be safe than sorry....

also, get everything, its easier to give back than it is to ask for it.

my advice on Divorce, especially with someone who has a SPMI.

[Telvis]

good luck telvis, get the car in someone elses name that you trust so she doesnt get it to just sell it on you..

better to be safe than sorry....

also, get everything, its easier to give back than it is to ask for it.

my advice on Divorce, especially with someone who has a SPMI.

My car is safe. The divorce will be final quickly since we don't have children together. The agreement has been signed and the paperwork should be to the judge for signing next week. I have a great attorney that I have known for may years. My previous life as a Police Officer pays off in that area. I developed friendships with a few good lawyers.  I had my house prior to the marriage so I get to keep it. She took her car and I gave her some money, a year and a half of maintenance and some furniture. I kept my new truck, hot tub  and the big screen TV. I'm sitting pretty good. I went and bought a new couch and a few other things today. It really hasn't affected my life all that much. I have to do my own laundry and cook for myself. I do sleep better since I don't have to worry about getting killed in my sleep.

She is very brilliant. She is one of the smartest people I have ever known. She is also very beautiful. It's a real shame. She can be very sweet until she has an episode. It's like night and day.

Things are pretty good. I'm not going to do any dating for a while. I need to do some things around the house, finish my car and spend more time with my children. Plus, I can spend all the time I want online and I don't have to worry about her getting upset.

[RD]

glad to hear....

OT, telvis, you in kentucky? if so, i have a proposal for you.

[Telvis]

Yep, Lexington. What do you need?

[RD]

Yep, Lexington. What do you need?

how far is stanton ky from lexington? and are you going to Monster Mopar weekend in St. Louis?

[Telvis]

Stanton's about 30 to 40 minutes away from Lexington.

I'm going to Carlisle and the Mopar Nationals. I'm not going to Monster Mopar, sorry.

[RD]

Stanton's about 30 to 40 minutes away from Lexington.

I'm going to Carlisle and the Mopar Nationals. I'm not going to Monster Mopar, sorry.

there are three transmissions on ebay in stanton that I want, if you could pick them up (he is not going to ship) and bring them to mopar nats, and i found someone to pick them up and bring them to monster mopar would you be willing to help me with this?  (heck, i may be able to make it out to mopar nats this, not sure though).  whaddaya think?

[Charger Aficionado]

Met the most beautiful lady I have ever had ......she had many of the qualities I was looking for . At six months she kinda got to pushing for a marriage date. Something in the back of my mind said wait.  Boy , was I ever lucky, after a little more than a year all kinds of nasties came  out.  Remember the old rule ,ALWAYS, go thru the four seasons with someone before you marry.........still searching..........J

Dude, sounds EXACTLY like what I went through...  I did have a kid w/ her unfortunatley, but she was pretty cute, and kept pushing for a marriage date...  We went to Palm Springs, and looked at places w/ her mom, and when we got home all she kept saying is "All I want is the paper, let's go to the courthouse"...  lol  And the same Small Voice in the back of my head, kept saying "something ain't right"...  VERY UGLY person.  Caused me so much drama about 5 yrs ago...  She has no moral value, and is very manipulating...  Times I was SHOCKED at how little care she had for human beings.  This is her, and my kiddo:




Oh BTW:  Try "Texas Land & Cattle" if you are ever in Dallas...  GOOD stuff.  Best Steakhouse in the big "D"...

[Telvis]

Stanton's about 30 to 40 minutes away from Lexington.

I'm going to Carlisle and the Mopar Nationals. I'm not going to Monster Mopar, sorry.

there are three transmissions on ebay in stanton that I want, if you could pick them up (he is not going to ship) and bring them to mopar nats, and i found someone to pick them up and bring them to monster mopar would you be willing to help me with this?  (heck, i may be able to make it out to mopar nats this, not sure though).  whaddaya think?

Sure, I can do that...PM if you want. I can do it, no problem.

[CharlieCharger]

Makes me not want to get married..but hand in there guy...something good has to come from it.

[HITMAN 149]

hang in there bro!!! being a copper i deal w/ alot of people on a daily basis.. and the hardest one's to deal with are the one's who have mental illnesses!!! it's tough...cause they give you a hard time, but you know they are sick, and it's a tough situation...you don't want to trat them like a common pain in the ass criminal!!! good luck with eveyrthing a keep your head up!!!

[Ponch ®]

Sorry to hear man...but hopefully YOU will be better off.

You know the old joke

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because its worth it. 

[Afflyer]

Telvis I just have to say one thing- You live in one of the most BEAUTIFUL places in America: Lexington, Kentucky, and as such...you should have NOOOOOOOO problem finding a damn-fine philly to sweep off her feet.

That's what I think!

Bradley- a guy who yearns to retire to Lexington in 2011.

[Telvis]

Telvis I just have to say one thing- You live in one of the most BEAUTIFUL places in America: Lexington, Kentucky, and as such...you should have NOOOOOOOO problem finding a damn-fine philly to sweep off her feet.

That's what I think!

Bradley- a guy who yearns to retire to Lexington in 2011.

Thanks man!  I agree that Lexington is a great place to live. I live about a mile from the legendary Calumet Farm. I drive past it and the KY horse park every day as I go to work. It's a beautiful view. I am not down about this divorce at all. It's a great thing and should have happened much sooner. We sign the final papers tomorrow and I am am overjoyed. However, I am going to wait a bit before I jump into the dating thing. I am savoring the solitude right now. I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time.

I want to thank everyone who has sent me well wishes. You guys are awesome. I really do appreciate it.

[70charginglizard]

Sorry to hear that.
good luck and hold on. Looks like you might be in for a bumpy ride.
Try to keep yourself positive. You'll get thru it. I did.

[Telvis]

Well, we signed the final paperwork today. It went to the judge for signature this afternoon. As soon as they sign it the divorce is final. It could be as early as tomorrow but likely will be a week or so. We were only married about 4 years and have no children together so it's been pretty quick and simple. Heck, if I knew it would be so easy I would have done it three years ago 

[Telvis]

Well, it's official! I am now divorced. I haven't felt this good in years! 

I'm FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TruckDriver]

Congrats Telvis.

[red72chrgr]

LOOK OUT ALL YOU SINGLE WOMEN!!!  Telvis has entered the dating scene. J/k dude. Congrats on getting some peace of mind.