Comparative exerpts from a cat's and dog's diary, funny for cat and dog owners

[SeattleCharger]

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 a.m. - Food time! My favorite thing!

9:30 a.m. - Car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 a.m. - Walk in park! My favorite thing!

10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 p.m. - Played in yard! My favorite thing!

5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 p.m. - Played ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 p.m. - Watched TV with family! My favorite thing!

11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary


Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to haunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for their
actions perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it's headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and
how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the captors
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe,
for now. . .

[Forza]

lol good one 

[my73charger]

Too funny!!!   

[jackel440]

 
now i know what the 2 cats are thinkn here.I'm onto them now

[CharlieCharger]

That is a good one ! My girl will like this one.

[Charger_Fan]

Pretty good.

[ramit]

That is one of my favorites!