High School Seniors/College

[moparsuebear]

Hey Ya'all,

I have 18 year old twin boys who are due to graduate from high school this May. One of them has got the idea that he doesn't want to go to college. Has anyone else out there experienced this situation and if so, what did you do?
Thanks!
-Susan

[bull]

I haven't experienced this personally yet but I do have an opinion on it if you don't mind hearing it. You can't really make him go because if you did it would probably be a tremendous waste of time and money and he would resent you for forcing him. The most you can do short of that is try talking him into it by asking him questions about what he wants to do in life or send him to a career counselor. If he knows what he wants to do, and it's something that doesn't require a college degree he'll probably do just fine even though as adults we all know we're generally much better off getting the degree anyway. But ultimately he's now an adult and trying to force him to do something will drive a wedge between you two, even if he doesn't show it in an obvious way.

[70charger_boy]

I dropped out of college and joined the navy.  That was 15 years ago and I'm a total failure in life, but I have a charger.  Make sure that your kid gets some vocational training like truck driving license, auto body, mechanic.  If he doesn't he'll regret not getting an education and be a bitter man, just like me.

[69-DodgeCharger]

My friend (were both seniors in high school bout to graduate) at the beginning of this year he was going to the same college as me. Then in November, he was like nah Im gonna go to Stout instead....couple months later he said he was gonna go to the community college for two years. next month he said he wasnt going at all because it would be a waste of his time and money because he said if he has the option to not show up for classes he wont. so now he wants to go into construction with his uncle or auto body/welding with one of my friends uncles. i told him youll regret way later in life man, but he refuses to believe me. people who graduate with a college degree are likely to make 70% more in their lifetime than someone with a high school degree thats a lot of money!

[70charger_boy]

My brother graduated from NYU and I dropped out of community college.  I make 5 grand more a year than him, but he has the piece of paper that says he's smart

[RD]

take him to your local unemployment office/workforce center, your local SRS Office, and your nearest homeless shelter.  Explain to them that none of these people have college degrees (well maybe 1 out of 10,000 may have one).  then let him figure it out.

[moparguy01]

I didnt want to go to college right after i graduated but my parents made me. so I went to the community college and worked full time. Then i said screw it and stopped going to classes and started working even more. After about 3 months of realizing how little I was making, i decided college is the way to go. Then i went to college for automotive restoration since its what I love to do. and now my dumbass is still in college 4 years later and about to graduate with an operations management degree. Funny how this shit works out.

He might just need to get out and experience not making any money to realize he needs that peice of paper. I know some people can make it without one, but thats the exception not the rule.

[Silver R/T]

better get education while he still can, he'll regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn't

[no318]

I am an auto tech instructor @ a local community college.  I have a AAS and a BS, but feel strongly that there is a potential to make a GOOD income in a GOOD working environment with a QUALITY technical education.  I am NOT saying it is for everyone, but it is a good option for some that do not desire to go the 4 year route.  I know that there is a HUGE job opportunity for trained and skilled employees that HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE and WORK ETHIC in ANY field!!!  It goes by FAST.  I agree that he would regret not going anywhere at a later point in life.  Perhaps explain how much $$$ it takes to have nice car(s), home, stereos, go-out, etc.....That is ALOT of minimum wage hours!

[BMOTOXSTAR]

  I did not go to college after high school. I was going to be a rock star! That plan fell through.
I then chose a career in machining, got laid off from machining.went to community college, earned Associates degree, working on BA.
  I have been a full time employee for 6 years at the college I received my 2 year at. My life did a 180 at age 26, I am now 32.
You never know where life takes you. My parents did not push me. They supported my decision &  let me go out and live my Heavy Metal Rock Star dream. I learned fast about surviving, I also had a lot of fun.
   After working in a machine shop and getting burned out on playing in bands ,I felt that a college education would only better my lifestyle.
  It was not until later in life that I went to college. I do not regret my past and it was something I had to experience. I guess it all just falls into place.
I see it everyday at work, college is not for everbody. Unless you have a goal or dream to try and make real after high school such as music, art, traveling,family business, etc, then college would be a step in a positive direction.

[PocketThunder]

My friend (were both seniors in high school bout to graduate) at the beginning of this year he was going to the same college as me. Then in November, he was like nah Im gonna go to Stout instead....couple months later he said he was gonna go to the community college for two years. next month he said he wasnt going at all because it would be a waste of his time and money because he said if he has the option to not show up for classes he wont. so now he wants to go into construction with his uncle or auto body/welding with one of my friends uncles. i told him youll regret way later in life man, but he refuses to believe me. people who graduate with a college degree are likely to make 70% more in their lifetime than someone with a high school degree thats a lot of money!

GOOD MAN!!!!  but then he decided to pass on Stout.. bad decision.. 

Paul
in St. Paul

UW-Stout Grad. 1999

Going to college was the best thing that ever happened to me. 

Suebear.  Just put your sons on a 2 kid family budget and tell them that their salary has to cover all expenses.  They might soon realize that anything less than $20/hr is not going to cut it...  When i was going to college i first went to auto body school and then welding school to be a welder in a factory.  I was in VoTech for 3 weeks and realized that this is going to suck and i'm not going to make enough money to buy a Charger someday.  So i went to UW-Stout for Construction Management and now i have a good job where i can pay for a 2 kid family and still have a little money left for my Charger.  not much, but just enough to buy gas..

www.uwstout.edu   








http://www.uwstout.edu/athletics/mtf/mtfstats.htm  Scroll down to the outdoor Track 3000m steeple chase record.  that guy sounds familiar     

[69-DodgeCharger]

lol. i was looking at stout too but Mankato got me hooked. so ill be attending Minnesota State University at Mankato for 4 years starting next fall, going for a law enforcement degree

[moparsuebear]

Thank you all for the helpful tips! Being we are a military family, he can keep his dependent status until he's 20, but if he goes to college, he can remain a dependent until he's 23. He expressed interest at one point to study geology. He says he'd like to join the military but he refuses to get his hair cut.  His twin brother is making straight A's and has already signed up to take his SAT test and put in his college apps. AKcharger, their dad, will be home on the 30th of April. I am hoping he can help straighten things out. Our son who refuses to go to college has also been skipping school and he bought an electric guitar in hopes to be in a band. Grrrrrrr. It's so frustrating as an adult who's been through it all, but yet he won't listen to my stories!  Keep the advice coming; I do appreciate it!!!
-Susan

[71ChallengeHer]

My son went right into the Navy after High School. It was a great decision for him. He's been in 8 years and is very happy there. My daughter wants to go to college and has had her whole life planned since she was 10. LOL I guess that's the difference between boys and girls. I knew there was no way my son was going to college. So the military was the best thing for him. If he didn't go that route , he would have went to a Tech School. But it all worked out.

[BMOTOXSTAR]

You should look into the PSEO (Post Secondary Educational Opportunity) program for your son.
This is a program run by the state of Ohio, where high school Jr's & Sr's that have meet certain criteria can go to a community college for free! The student's go to college in the afternoon after their morning high school classes. The students graduate from high school with a 2 year degree as well. Talk about a great jump start on an education.
  I know you do not live in Ohio but maybe your state has a similar program.

[bull]

It's really not the end of the world if they don't go to college right away. By age 30 or so they learn the value of an education and by then you won't have to pay for it. Sounds like a win-win to me.

[dkn1997]

No matter what he does, having a good education will always help.  There is nothing wrong at all with any kind of technical education either.  Some kids skip any kind of school and go into one of the trades (mechanic,electrician,plumber,framing, whatever)  and while that's a great way to earn a living, It can get old.  I was a service mechanic for 15 years working on swimming pools.  not your average pools, we are talking high end with computer controls, automatic valves, etc.  I was very technical and good at it.  The only problem is that I got a bit old.  not too old, but at age 35 I started saying to myself:  "do I want to be humping around this toolbox when I am 50?"  For some guys, it's their thing and more power to them.  Me....I just pictured me breaking down physically at some point and I have seen enough cooworkers up shit's creak when a bad knee or something prevents them from making a living. 

At that point, I went to my boss and said I wanted to be in management.  I also thanked god that my parents made me go to college and get a bachelors degree.  sure, I did not use it much in my years as a mechanic, but it really helped when I got into the office.  I already knew how to write letters, type, operate a computer, etc... plus I was used to the classroom setting and when they sent me to management classes, I breezed through them.  those classes really helped me and if I did not have some extra education behind me, I don't know if it would have worked out.  the end result is that  I  have so many options open to me now.  I could go back to being a mechanic somewhere else, or I could go work for a totally different kind of business having some years of management experience under my belt.

Tell your boy that the worst thing that can come of college is that when he gets out, he can still do whatever he wants and he will have the world by the balls.

[67_Dodge_Charger]

I would recommend letting the kid experience what real life is like with a low paying job and no prospects of advancing up the ladder of success. I learned the hard way and dropped out of college the first year.  Twenty years later I went back and finished up my BS and will complete my masters this year.  My son is a senior this year and he is planning on going to the local university.  My wife completed her BA in psychology and sociology (a double BA) this winter. 

I have a nephew that has worked for two years now after his high school days and he is now starting college this coming year.  It does not hurt to let them experience life, some of the brightest need to explore or they will burn out before they complete their college career. 

I come from a large family and there are two out of thirteen that did not complete college.   All are successful in their own way.

Robert

[hemihead]

Some people are not cut out for College.An education is a great thing don't get me wrong but I know people that went to College, got a good paying job, and now hate every waking moment of their life.Shouldn't the purpose of life be to be happy living? Don't all parents tell their children that you can't buy happiness or are we all too greedy of a society that we think money equals being happy.No wonder you read about guys slumping over their desk at 40 years old at work dying of a Coronary.I told my son who will graduate next year that no matter what he does for a living to make sure he is happy what he does regardless of how much money he makes because a job is just a job.It doesn't make you any better of a person because you make alot of money.Life is too short.

[bull]

Good point. And by the same token I think kids entering college should be getting an education in something they enjoy, not something that is going to make them a bunch of money. Too often the pursuit of wealth is the exact opposite of the pursuit of happiness.

[68isgr8]

These are great replies. Have your son read this thread, maybe it'll help shine some light. It's possible he doens't know exactly what he wants to study, and that is scary if you are preasured into going to college. After our second child is born and is in school, I'd like to go back to college. I feel more confident in myself that I can do a better job. I'm totally dependent on my husband (which isn't all bad), but what if something ever goes wrong....I have no education to back me up to support myself and the family.
Military would be a great option. There are so many opportunities. Maybe you've already said this, but you can tell him that "hair is just hair". It won't make a difference or determine how successful you'll be.
All you and your husband can do, is to do your best explaining things to your son. And if it means for him to learn the hard way-then so be it. He'll eventually figure things out, just be supportive and be there for him when he needs a little guideness. 

[TeeWJay426]

If he doesn't want to go, don't force him.... he will NOT succeed at it. I'm going through that now with my son, who'll be 19 in a couple of months. Started out in a 4 year program at a local college; fumbled around and did lousy his first semester, decided partway in to the second semester that what he was enrolled in wasn't for him.... of course, by then it was too late to withdraw and get any money back, so he basically screwed off and is failing almost everything.... the classes he didn't drop, anyway. Sometimes you are better off letting them struggle along and figure it out for themselves. Have him go get a job instead; after a little while of struggling along making mediocre money while practicing a career mantra of 'You want fries with that?', he just may find the motivation he needs. Forcing him to go when he doesn't have the motivation now will only waste a lot of time and money (mostly yours).... been there, done that, got a 25K student loan to start paying with virtually nothing to show for it.

[Shakey]

Some very successful businessmen never went to college and some of them never even finished high school.

While I'd agree that getting a post secondary education is important, it isn't the end of the world.

[Vainglory, Esq.]

You can't force someone into college, even if he is your son.  What you can do, is "strongly encourage" him to take at least a couple of classes at a community college while working a normal out-of-high school job.  That way, by the time he realizes that an education is, in fact, pretty damn important, he won't be too far behind the curve.

Alternatively, you could also give him a gentle reminder that, what with the booze and the broads, college is clearly the best years of one's life.  But that might be awkward coming from his mother...

[Arthu®]

Some very successful businessmen never went to college and some of them never even finished high school.

While I'd agree that getting a post secondary education is important, it isn't the end of the world.

True but it is getting harder and harder to come somewhere without a degree. Most jobs are just not open to someone without a certain degree.

Arthur