Gawd NO! I've become my Parents!

[Arigmaster]

Okay, now it's happened... I have just become my parents...

However... I just dont get nor do I approve of this "EMO" trend some of these kids are leaning towards. My daughter is only 12 and she says these "EMO" guys look hot (Nooooooo!) and they are sensitive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHTAT_UPm18

I think they need to be put into an institution... Through the ages I think every generation tries to out do the last by creating some trend or look "Just to piss off or out do" the generation before. This "EMO" thing to me seems to be a bunch of kids making up problems to feel sorry for themselves about and some carry it to such extreem that they even become self distructive.

I mean really! back in the day there was the Hippie thing followed by the Disco thing, followed by the punk thing and then the Goth thing. Now this??? EMO thing.

These kids are only like 11 to 16 years old and most come from normal families. All they talk about is how much their life sucks and the cut themselves, plan how they are going to do themselves away, etc. I mean really... What horrible problems could a 13 year old kid have that are so bad they would want to harm themselves. 

I have banned my daughter from the "MySpace" site because it seems that there is almost an entire network of these little EMO @%&$'s putting these ideas into other kids heads that this what is cool...  NOT! I am almost tempted to find some of these little creeps and forward some of the stuff they write to their Parents, School Psycologists, Principals, and the Police. This trend is just plain wrong! Or, am I just not with it?  Any of you, as Parent's come across this crap?

End rant...

[bordin34]

Well, im 15 and about 2 years ago a ot of people in my school were. It was weird everybody wore black and had black hair. Its just a trend and it will hopefuly end soon. Hopefully today's music will get better too.

[mikepmcs]

my best friends daughter said that to me once that she was goingto do this EMO thing.  I didn't know what it was, but found out and immediately had a talk with my buddy.  She is my god daughter and I've seen all 3 of his kids grow up from just about day one so I have a little pull with that family.
I told her i'd beat the crap out of her if she were my kid and did some stupid junk like that.  So far, so good, she's still a normal kid.  We'll see though.
Yeah, that myspace thing is out of hand IMO.  I actually had an account and finally deleted it because all i kept getting were friend requests from these beautiful chicks to link to their website.  Every know and then it would go to a porno site.  It's just another good idea gone bad and now in the hands of computer hackers IMO.

my .02
v/r
Mike

[69_500]

Every Generation is going to have something that they like, or do and its going to be off the wall. However people want to dress, I don't care. I know this though, don't expect me to like it when I see it. Its called opinions and we are all entitled to them. My opinion is this, when I see a kid dressed like that, I see a person who lacks respect for their elders. Watch them in public, they don't hold doors open for elderly ladies. they rush in the store first then let the door go behind them. Okay I'll stop there.

[mikepmcs]

69_500

It's not just dressing, these kids are literally cutting themselves with razor blades and stuff all over their body.  It is a very self destructive fad, if you want to call it that.  This trend needs to be stopped.

Isn't it against the law, to assault or harm yourself.  If I was the kids parents and wanted it stopped i'd have the cops lock em up, of course they would probably enjoy that(or not enjoy it as the case may be in emoworld)

[69_500]

I understand what your talking about. When I was in college there were some kids in the town, that were doing the same thing. Self mutilation is never something to be taken lightly. Its sick, and definately something I'd slap the heck out of my kid for doing.  Kids do it to fit in, they think the cool kids are doing so they will do it too. Its a bad circle.

[skip68]

Good for you Arigmaster.  I as a parent agree 100% and I've about had my fill with Myspace.    My teen years were in the 80s.    Most of the guys I ran with only worried about getting beer and getting girls. I've had a talk or two with some young guys about what they should be worried about.  I've told them if I was 18 again I'd say see ya later, you guy's can get depressed and talk about how life sucks all you want.  I'm going to go party and find a girl.    You're only young once, LIVE, you have your whole life ahead of you. Everyone knows life sometimes sucks. Change what you can and don't worry about what you can't.  I've been told it's expressing them selves, whatever, you express yourself, I'm gonna go party.    That was my attitude then and still is today. I think most of these kids are lost and don't know who they are and are followers lacking parental guidance.  They fit in where the can that's easy.    I think they need a hobby that they have a passion for.    Who knows, I think most of them will grow out of it but it won't be in my house. Keep your daughter busy Arigmaster and stand your ground. Good luck.     Chuck............We're getting old.

[TruckDriver]

69_500

It's not just dressing, these kids are literally cutting themselves with razor blades and stuff all over their body.  It is a very self destructive fad, if you want to call it that. 

You can even do a "Groups" search and you will be shocked as to how many of them there are. And a lot of them have pictures posted by these people that are doing this. And it is just not teens doing it. Check out a few of the sites for depression, and you will find a lot of (mostly women) in their 20s are doing this. They say they are addicted to it even, and love how it feels when there skin is being cut & bleeding. I even saw posts on "How to hide your scars from your parents"  and or "How to cut". I almost threw up when I saw a few of the pictures on those sites. I have come to the conclusion, that 90% of  internet is NOT a safe place for anyone under 17 PERIOD! I will never let my kids on the internet at all unless I am sitting next to them.

[Mean 318]

Not to defend the little shits, but just remember that we all went through the whole bad hair thing at one time. Most of these kids are doing it for the look, and don't actually cut themselves. They try so hard that they are laughed at by everyone else. I just hope that they snap out of it.... we all did when it came to our teen years. "Anyone have a mullet... or a fro?" I was more into getting drunk, or into cruising around in the Coronet!

[Charger_Fan]

I'm just damned glad my kids are past that point in life!

[Old Moparz]

Nothing wrong at all with looking out for kids, but don't think you're going to be able to control everything they do, it's impossible. The more you try to control, the more rebellious they will get. When they feel that something is more important than you do, or when they see the do as I say attitude, they can be more creative at covering things up. Did anyone forget what it was like from the age of say 12 or 13, up to when you finally made it to 18?

As a teen, myself & a lot of friends would think about how much smarter we were than our parents. Of course when you get older you realize you were just a dumbass. That hasn't changed either, I still see it from time to time with teens today. I can now laugh with my parents at some of the things I had gotten away with that my parents didn't know about. A few things they knew about, but other things they didn't. Not until I was older did my father tell me about goofy things he did as a teen.

The "Emo" term, like a few others have mentioned, is no different than other terms used years ago. Punk, Gothic, or anything else that described a sub culture, & going all the way back to the flappers & zoot suit crowd during prohibition. The only thing to really do in my opinion, is to inform the kids of right & wrong. Telling them they can't be an "Emo" is no different than telling them what I saw as a teen in the 1970's, when someone was told they shouldn't be a "Punk Rocker"

I have to admit, I wasn't quite sure the exact meaning of Emo, but did a google search. As for self injury or mutilation, I think that is probably a much smaller segment of the Emo crowd. I had several friends into punk rock in the 1970's, but only one was truly a "Punk Rocker" who lived that lifestyle. He was in a punk rock band that played lower Manhattan regularly. The safety pin in the cheek, the cut off what hair stuck out when you woke up, the drugs, & also lived on the streets for a short time. He was so screwed up that his band kicked him out.

When I first heard the term Emo, all I could envision was the goofy comedian Emo Phillips. 

Here's an interesting link to see the general definition.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo

More defined as a subculture:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_%28slang%29

I can recall being a teen & having your parents either control, or allow you some freedom. They never told me who I could or couldn't be friends with, but made sure I had good enough judgement to know who was okay & who was f%&$ed up. I got quickly annoyed with certain friends & their stupidity, so I guess it worked. I was never in any serious trouble, but I did get into a few things I shouldn't have, it's normal. I'd like to hope I can do the same thing with my daughter who'll be 8 in May. We'll see what happens in 4 or 5 years. 

[mikepmcs]

maybe this is where they get their styling from.  I remember him.

Thanks for the extra links Bob.

v/r
Mike

[nh_mopar_fan]

I want my lawn to be EMO, so it'll cut itself.

[mikepmcs]

I've always thought that is what you meant in your signature line. Now the mystery is solved.

v/r
Mike

[jordyjim]

emo? what is this i have read your posts, no sighn of it here yet..jim

[mikepmcs]

Just be thankful it isn't there yet Jim.  It'a a ridiculous thing that teens/preteens are doing nowadays to fit in.

here's a link that kind of describes it but it also involves self mutilation as well. ie: Cutting themselves all over their body. Not in all cases but it is part of this subculture.

http://www.fourfa.com/

v/r
Mike

[Manfred318]

Good for you arigmaster dont let you daughter turn in to one of theos little turd heads. There were alot of these little shits at my school, when I was a senior it was just becoming the "cool thing" to do. My friends and I used to go around an beat the crap out of them. Mainly because we considered them poseurs. Now I work there part time and thats all you see. These little turds with their dyed black hair their little goofy arm bands and their girly looking clothes, and it just pisses me off when I see it. All I hear out of them is how bad their life sucks and how stupid their parents are. Most of them live in a nice large home in some fancy sub-division and drive fairly new cars, so I dont want to here them bitch and complain about their crappy lifes. In my opinion they just need to SHUT THE F@#K UP AND GET A LIFE.

[nh_mopar_fan]

My kids has friends that are like this. One kid wears woman's jeans. WTF.

He's getting really tired of them which is a good sign.

[mikepmcs]

 

[Bandit72]

i'm 19 and went to high school with some of these (for lack of a better term) freaks. Sorry if that offends anyone or whatever but they are... a boy in my school would wear all black, which didn't really bother me as i often wear black also (or any dark color for that matter) but his jeans were always WAY to baggy and his shirts were always WAY to tight. Then to top that off he would often hang chains from his belt loops..(then got mad when everyone laughed at him when they'd get caught on something) by the time i graduated this kid was drawing on his face with eyeliner everything from hearts to guns to the little nazi sign...everything. I think it's just a cry for attention personally

[Charger_Fan]

I think it's just a cry for attention personally

That's how it's always been though, someone needing attention often gets to the point where any attention, even if it's bad attention makes them feel better somehow.

I remember one kid in high school (about 1979 or 1980) that transferred here from somewhere in California. He needed lot of attention apparently, because he showed up on his first day with a mohawk...that was the first time any of us Utah kids had seen that.
He lasted about 3 days, then a bunch of guys from the wrestling team caught him in a park, shaved his head & gave him a black eye. He got his attention all right, but he was definitely more humbled after that.

I later found out that one of the wrestler's girlfriend had been saying he was cute. "Oh yeah? Let's see how cute he is now?"

[nh_mopar_fan]

I don't find a bunch of thugs taking on one kid and beating him up very funny.

Cowards.

[RD]

I would not say its a cry for attention by itself... there are many dynamics going on during the adolescent period.  These actions by kids are to try to identify with a certain group of people.  Their social circles are extremely important and they crave for this social interaction.  Not every child can be apart of the "jock" popular crowd, so they (and others) create other social cliques so that they can feel included and important within that social sphere.

Granted I do not approve of this harming behavior, but what these kids are doing now is nothing different from the past generations. They are just using a different venue to achieve that goal.

I believe that as parents we need to try and remember what it was like when we were teenagers and apply that knowledge in a positive manner so as to promote understanding and support for positive behaviors rather than negative behaviors.

Mainly, promote and foster an environment of understanding while still applying adequate discipline.  To go against your children when they are exploring such negative behaviors is actually reinforcing those behaviors.  I.E. they will do the opposite of what you want out of spite.

[Arigmaster]

I would not say its a cry for attention by itself... there are many dynamics going on during the adolescent period.  These actions by kids are to try to identify with a certain group of people.  Their social circles are extremely important and they crave for this social interaction.  Not every child can be apart of the "jock" popular crowd, so they (and others) create other social cliques so that they can feel included and important within that social sphere.

Granted I do not approve of this harming behavior, but what these kids are doing now is nothing different from the past generations. They are just using a different venue to achieve that goal.

I believe that as parents we need to try and remember what it was like when we were teenagers and apply that knowledge in a positive manner so as to promote understanding and support for positive behaviors rather than negative behaviors.

Mainly, promote and foster an environment of understanding while still applying adequate discipline.  To go against your children when they are exploring such negative behaviors is actually reinforcing those behaviors.  I.E. they will do the opposite of what you want out of spite.

I think in the Daughters case, she is just at the age where she is trying to have an individual identity and I know she likes "some" not all of the clothing styles. I guess I'm all for that but, I also want to make sure I am being responsible as a parent to guide her so it is not taken too far.

I started following up some of the posts being made by the little creepy boys in her friends list and some of the slutty little girls too. I am sure half of what they claim to be doing or boast about is bull but, I don't feel that it is healthy influence for any kid my daughters age.

She was none too happy with me blocking her from the site and who knows, she might even find another method to access it. But, I'd rather do something than nothing about it. All I can really do though it try to get her through these years without being harmed. Yes, she is at that "Boy Crazy age" (Gawd help me) but the little pukes are going to have to get through me first. Last summer she went to a lot of the little area show & go's with me but her and her friend spent most of their time close to or in the car giggling because the car attracted boys! I can only imagine what this coming summer will be like.

I did run across one profile on the Myspace that belonged to a little turd 3 blocks away... some of the things that were posted in there were just plain disturbing! So, I printed it all up yesterday and brought the copies over to his Dad...    (His dad is a cop here)

[Bandit72]

I would not say its a cry for attention by itself... there are many dynamics going on during the adolescent period.  These actions by kids are to try to identify with a certain group of people.  Their social circles are extremely important and they crave for this social interaction.  Not every child can be apart of the "jock" popular crowd, so they (and others) create other social cliques so that they can feel included and important within that social sphere.

Granted I do not approve of this harming behavior, but what these kids are doing now is nothing different from the past generations. They are just using a different venue to achieve that goal.

I believe that as parents we need to try and remember what it was like when we were teenagers and apply that knowledge in a positive manner so as to promote understanding and support for positive behaviors rather than negative behaviors.

Mainly, promote and foster an environment of understanding while still applying adequate discipline.  To go against your children when they are exploring such negative behaviors is actually reinforcing those behaviors.  I.E. they will do the opposite of what you want out of spite.

i never fit in with the "jock" crowd either (never played a sport throughout highschool) and i turned out just fine 

[mikepmcs]

I did run across one profile on the Myspace that belonged to a little turd 3 blocks away... some of the things that were posted in there were just plain disturbing! So, I printed it all up yesterday and brought the copies over to his Dad...    (His dad is a cop here)

That's awesome!!!   My buddy's 2 youngest daughters and well their 19 YO daughter as well.   They all have my space accounts and I have read some of these posts that they had cause they were on my friends page(when I had one)so that makes it easy to see what kind of junk they are sending and receiving.  Very disturbing indeed.  I've talked to my buddy about it, but he doesn't seem to care as much as I would hope.  His kids not mine though, so what do you do.  

[RD]

I did run across one profile on the Myspace that belonged to a little turd 3 blocks away... some of the things that were posted in there were just plain disturbing! So, I printed it all up yesterday and brought the copies over to his Dad...    (His dad is a cop here)

LOL bwhahahah... i cannot wait either! 

[RD]

i never fit in with the "jock" crowd either (never played a sport throughout highschool) and i turned out just fine 

ummmmm....sure you are.... no biased opinion there! hehehehehe

[Wheels of Terror]

I work with kids and adolesents at a intensive residential treatment hospital.  Since thier parent do not give them attention at all, negative attention fills the void alittle bit. It seems to me that alot of children are neglected these days due to, younger and selfish parents. I read and hear about what the clients I work with wnt thriough and it puts life in perpective. when they do something major, they will even tell us that they did it for attention. Kudos to you, Arigmaster!! You sound like a great parent! this generation needs more involved parents like yourself.