Can men and women be friends?

[yellowcuda]

The thread with the silly movie lines got me thinking about the "when Harry met Sally" line that men and women can never truly be friends because sex always gets in the way.   Just curious on ya'lls opinion.   My two best friends for the past 15 years, since high school are both men.   They have spent the night at my house and me at theirs.   I was a groomsmaid at both of their weddings.   Here is a picture of us from left to right (me, Jon, and Sam) on the right is my step-dad.   The munchkin is mine.

http://www.blueworldstudios.com/TraciAndSam/Formals/source/135.html

I have met some great guys here and have made some great friends.   Funny thing is that Jonathan knew from day one that my friends were guys and is not jealous because he knows who my heart belongs to.   I have had the experience though were the girlfriends or wives of the friends I have made freak out and I can't be friends with them anymore.   This makes me sad, I have lost some very good friends this way.   I miss them.

[Silver R/T]

ya sure they can be friends...sometimes friendships grow into something else though

[ChargerSG]

Sure, me and my lady even restore cars toghter(even though she has a Mustang )...

[Telvis]

I personally think it is very difficult for men and women to be just friends. I'm sure there will be many who disagree. I have seen many men and women who were "just friends" and the relationships evolved into something else. I think that it's very natural for firends of the opposite sex to become attracted to each other. Once the firendship begins to grow the sexual attraction becomes stronger. Also a lot of men will qualify almost every woman they meet as to weather they would like them as a sex partner or not. We do it here all the time. Look at chicks and Chargers, chicks at car shows and the other threads. Men almost always look at a woman and think of sex. They might deny it when asked but trust me they do. I even know some men who will become friends with a woman under the guise of a platonic relationship just to try to bed them.

[yellowcuda]

I can honestly say that when me and my two best friends met we were all attracted to each other in one way or another...after time though the thought of that got weirder and weirder...now they are like family and how gross would it be to sleep with your brother (or sister)!!!

The hardest thing is the women involved.  I have lost more male friends over the women in their lives freaking out and demanding they never speak to me again.  Maybe if they just got to know me too they would see that I am not out after their men.  I have lost friends here from that.

[JimShine]

My best friend for 14 years was a woman. We went through alot together. There were a couple of times where we almost crossed the line, but she was worried if things went wrong we could never go back to just being friends. She lost a few boyfriends over the years because of our friendship. Maybe 8 years into it she started keeping me a secret. Finally she met a guy who she loved enough to marry, but he had a problem with me being so close to her. I believe he made an ultimatum. They moved away, she married him and she disappeared from my life.

[Lowprofile]

This is a great subject.   
My wife of 6 years is my best friend. That being said, I have a few good, close friends that happen to be women. My wife tells me that she loves her few close "girlfriends", but she gets along and works much better with Men. I asked her, can you keep your guy friends as "friends" or does something always happen to screw things up? She said its usually the guy that "falls in Love" , thus usually ending the relationship. I know,[back in my younger years, mind you], speaking as a guy, That if given the chance to "Close the Deal", Friend or not, I would. I find that as I grow older[ ] I value my friendships much more than I did as a younger man. Maybe that's the answer...Maturity, or the lack thereof.

My   

[TruckDriver]

I have never known a woman that even wanted to be friends. For whatever reason, women have never liked me as just friends or whatever. Maybe it's my adult ADD or because I never liked hunting, camping,fishing, or sports other then auto racing and some football. I don't know. Yes I was married for 10 years. But afterwords she told me right out she never loved me or liked even being around me much. And when I think back, we rarely were ever together doing something. So I know she is not lying to me about it. All my life I never had a woman do anything for me as friends or romantically. At 41, I'm not even sure if I could deal with it if a woman wanted to be my friend It's been so long since I had any close friends anyway, I feel weird when someone is nice to me now..... no kidding

Sorry about my rant

[yellowcuda]

Dodge charger guy.......you know the wrong women.  You have friends here.

[TruckDriver]

Dodge charger guy.......you know the wrong women.   You have friends here.

What women........... I don't know any at all other then my ex & my mom

As far as friends here, there are a lot of people here I'd like to meet someday. Guess thats why I am so addicted to this board

[Plumcrazy]

Sorry about my rant

Don't give up.  My wife is my best freind. 

[HalfastAMX]

  I have had the experience though were the girlfriends or wives of the friends I have made freak out and I can't be friends with them anymore.   This makes me sad, I have lost some very good friends this way.   I miss them.

I miss them too.........

[NHCharger]

It's definitely possible. I had many female friends when I was a teenager and early twenty's. However when they start discussing their problems like a urinary tract infection it was time to leave. Some of their boyfriends couldn't handle a friendship only thing and most of the friendships eventually faded away.

[Old Moparz]

Friends? Possibly. Close friends? That's got to be as rare as unrestored, genuine, Hemi ragtops. I can honestly say I could never be "really close" without some other thoughts entering the relationship. (So far anyway.) I can say that based on a couple of relationships I had before I was married. I think Telvis summed it up pretty accurately. For me, my wife is also my friend, & I'd have to say my closest friend.

[Doc74]

My best friend for about 15 or so years now is a very beautiful unique woman, we got close in the very beginning but never again because we both knew it was wrong.
This friendship is thicker than blood and her bf for 7 years is one of my best friends.So yes, men and women can be friends.

[MoparYoungGun]

I think Telvis pretty much summed it up .

That being said, I have had close female friends in the past that have remained just friends.

So to answer your question, yes, men and women can just be friends.

[Duey]

This is a great subject.   
My wife of 6 years is my best friend. That being said, I have a few good, close friends that happen to be women. My wife tells me that she loves her few close "girlfriends", but she gets along and works much better with Men. I asked her, can you keep your guy friends as "friends" or does something always happen to screw things up? She said its usually the guy that "falls in Love" , thus usually ending the relationship. I know,[back in my younger years, mind you], speaking as a guy, That if given the chance to "Close the Deal", Friend or not, I would. I find that as I grow older[ ] I value my friendships much more than I did as a younger man. Maybe that's the answer...Maturity, or the lack thereof.

My   

"Grasshopper, when you become as wise as The Clown, it will be time for you to leave the temple..." 

Lowprofile hit the nail on the head...as (most) guys get older, I think we start to appreciate relationships more.  My wife has a really close male friend and that doesn't bother me at all....although I joke to him that it's because he's more like a chick than a guy (likes to shop for things other than power tools and car parts)  

...one more cent to add to Lowprofile's 1 ¢...

Duey

[Blusmbl]

One of my best friends is a woman, and has been for years.   It's definitely possible.  Difficult, but possible.... chances are one or both parties involved will develop feelings for the other over time....   only because as a whole we're primitive creatures and some things (like sexual attaction) are inevitable.

[emily]

I've never had a close friendship with a woman.   I do have female acquaintances that I enjoy doing things with from time to time, but I can't say that I can call them actual friends.   My closest and most enduring friendships have always been with men.

But people do come into our lives for a while, and leave on their own path.   I don't mourn any loss of past friendships, instead I remember them as good experiences in my life.   I don't miss them, I will always have our good times together right inside me.  

Everything in the universe is temporary, so friendships are just the same to me.   We come together for a while and grow and move on.   Our lives took us in different directions, so I'm happy for the time I've had with friends and I wish them the best, always.     :   )

[bluesfool]

I absolutely believe men and women can be friends, and great friends at that. Of course developing that relationship takes extra time, because like you have already mentioned, you have to reach that "eww gross...she's like my sister/he's like my brother" stage. A male/female friendship (without ANY sort of romance) is rare, but entirely possible. You should consider yourself lucky that, not only do you have some close friends, but your husband isn't jealous of it! During my first marriage, my wife was EXTREMELY jealous and I lost some close female friends because of it. True friends are hard to come by...why try to limit them to one sex?

[Arthu®]

I think it could be just that, but I don't think that both will never ever think of it in a different way. I mean how it would be like. That is probably what makes us human.

Sometimes it is just too bad that those feelings take over and ruin the whole friendship, because let's all agree once you have gone there. It will never be the same. Can't say I really have had that kind of relationship with a girl though. Some way it always get off course. But well maybe because I am still young.

Arthur

[Mefirst]

Maby these two can help to solve the question -Can men and women be good friends or maby this is something for the "Junior" Mythbusters to solve...



Well jokes aside.. I do think that men and women can be good friends.. But I also think it takes some effort from both parts to stay just "friends" It is still a complexed situation and like already stated its not easy.. Deeper feelings can surface from even the smallest things towards another..

But I think the most important thing is still to have friends.. Some friendships last only for a while, then you go on on different paths, but some friends are for ever and those friends are the most important...

/Tom

[DarkAngel0816]

As a female here...I am friends with a lot of males...one of them having been in my life for 10 years...just as a platonic friend. I think if you do it right you can be friends with the opposite sex.  I have always hung out with the guys even as a child...

[MoparUSAF]

No.

[Telvis]

No.

[Charger_Fan]

I've never had a close friendship with a woman.   I do have female acquaintances that I enjoy doing things with from time to time, but I can't say that I can call them actual friends.   My closest and most enduring friendships have always been with men.

But people do come into our lives for a while, and leave on their own path.   I don't mourn any loss of past friendships, instead I remember them as good experiences in my life.   I don't miss them, I will always have our good times together right inside me.  

Everything in the universe is temporary, so friendships are just the same to me.   We come together for a while and grow and move on.   Our lives took us in different directions, so I'm happy for the time I've had with friends and I wish them the best, always.     :   )

That's the best view to have. I've had friends who have gone their own ways through the years & I always remember the time we had together fondly.

As far as me being friends with women goes, the only one I have been "friends" with is my wife. All other females in my life I've always wanted to hop in the sack with. Although that was when I was younger, maybe it would work better now that I'm older...I don't really have a need to find out.

My wife & I are currently going through a rough spell in our marriage & for a few months, it felt as if my heart was being shredded because I was potentially losing my best friend. Currently, we're still at odds on certain things, but I feel that whatever the outcome, I feel that our friendship will endure...it's kinda strange.

[beenaround]

i think there is a big difference between friends and lovers.consider this if your better half throws you out of the house tonight,who can you call that will let you stay with them??? i have female friends and the wife has male friends,these are   people who we have known for years.most of them we met though my deceased brother.if she goes out with a male friend i don't worry,likewise with me. it might be the fact that we are in our 40's and have been together 25+ years.i think yellowcuda  and emily summed it up best people come into and out of your life.your real friends are the ones that you can call after 4 years and pick up like it was yesterday.

[SirNik73]

Men and Woman by nature cannot be friends, as Telvis said. but part of being of advanced intelligence as humans are we are able to control and over come our nature. this is why it takes mature people to be cross gender friends. I'm 21 and have some female friends and in each friendship we have ether had issues with sex butting its head into our friendships or are currently having problems with it. i know i have some good female friends because they are still my friends after dealing with sexual tention. i have never slept with any of my friends. but sexual tention has been a problem with every relationship. ether the girls are under the assumption that there is more then friendship going on or i get confused and think the girls are interested and i think there is more then friendship going on... but that is our human nature showing.

[Dale The Bold]

It depends on the man and the woman's opinion of men.  If he is the type who only thinks about sex (and therefore thinks that "just friends" is impossible), he's too much of a jerk to handle a respectful relationship.  If she thinks all men are like what I just described, her low expectations will not allow the friendship to continue because she assumes he will eventually just want sex.  Simply put, he has to respect women, and she has to think it's normal for a guy to respect women.

[Orange_Crush]

I have wound up having sex with every single female friend I've ever had.  One of them for over two years.  Its OK as long as you establish the ground rules ahead of time. 

My wife once asked me why I had no female friends anymore, especially since I had several when we met.  My response; "Because I'll probably nail 'em...its a nasty habit."

[bull]

Problems start if/when you start relating to the opposite sex in ways generally reserved for married couples such as deep, hearfelt conversation. If you're not married it's much easier to have friends of the opposite sex because you can relate to them in ways that married people relate and not worry that someone back home will be hurt. However, if you try to continue that after you get married the trouble begins if you are sharing things with another person that you don't share with your partner. It happens all the time in the workplace because we are around other people 8 hrs a day and there's very little of real life to distract such as kids, bills, chores, etc. If you're not careful you might find yourself emotionally attached to someone else because things at home are hectic, boring, whatever.