How long can/should I maintain the ruse?

[bull]

My oldest is 7 and she's starting to have a little trouble with the Santa thing this year. You'd think the first thing she would question is the logistics of one man (and maybe up to two assistants) delivering presents to every household on the planet in a 24-hour period. UPS, FedEx, DHL and the USPS combined couldn't come close to doing that I'm pretty sure. But her first clue to the story being a crock is the big guy getting into the house without a chimney and doing it without setting off the alarm. Her second doubt came with a question about reindeer being able to fly, which I admit is pretty hard to support.

I also sometimes feel guilty putting my kids through the behavioral manipulation of telling them that Santa is watching when they are smacking each other around. I'm not sure that is a very good way to encourage good behavior, but I do get a lot of mileage off it starting in about late October and for the most part it works wonders. But even then I don't think they are buying it. The 4-year-old is even more synical than the 7-year-old so now the fake phone calls to the north pole don't hold much weight. So here's the question: Do I up the ante and rent a bunch of kid "documentaries" like "Santa Claus" which address this issue and try to maintain the ruse or do I say to heck with it and pull Santa's plug?

[PocketThunder]

Dont go too much longer.  you dont want to be the only kid in your class that still believes in Santa and then the teacher asks what everyone got for Christmas and when its your turn you say, I got a racetrack from Mom and Dad and a bike from Santa.....  then all the other kids look at you and laugh...  D'oh!!

[BigBlackDodge]

WTH! You mean Santa's not real?


BBD

[bull]

WTH! You mean Santa's not real?


BBD

Oops! Um... yes he is real.

[General_01]

We told our oldest this year. She is pretty shy and trusting. She is 10. She is keeping the ruse going for her younger sister. I think she has suspected for a couple years because she has asked the last few years if Santa is real. I always told her he's as real as you believe. She would then ask if I believe. I would give her the standard "It doesn't matter what I believe, just what you believe" speech.

[last426]

I came from a family who never lied about Christmas -- I knew from the earliest age.  I kept the secret from my schoolmates (I am not sure why), but felt kinda sorry for them for being misled.  Perhaps that is what led to me always questioning authority.  As to what to do with your kids, I think it would all depend on the kids and their investment in the ruse.  But it could be a good learning experience for the seven year old.  Depending on her personality you might want to involve her in the scheme, explaining how it was you all along and done with love as you let her in on the secret of the cookies, chomping a few for the benefit of the youngest.  Christmas is, afterall, a happy time regardless of the belief in Santa or Christ.  To me, Christmas is about family and friends, as I wrote in my annual Christmas poem at www.marlia.com.  Kim   

[bull]

I came from a family who never lied about Christmas -- I knew from the earliest age.  I kept the secret from my schoolmates (I am not sure why), but felt kinda sorry for them for being misled.  Perhaps that is what led to me always questioning authority.  As to what to do with your kids, I think it would all depend on the kids and their investment in the ruse.  But it could be a good learning experience for the seven year old.  Depending on her personality you might want to involve her in the scheme, explaining how it was you all along and done with love as you let her in on the secret of the cookies, chomping a few for the benefit of the youngest.  Christmas is, afterall, a happy time regardless of the belief in Santa or Christ.  To me, Christmas is about family and friends, as I wrote in my annual Christmas poem at www.marlia.com.  Kim   

That's a pretty good idea. I know the 7-year-old would love to help keep it going for the sake of the 4-year-old, but then the 4-year-old really isn't into it all that much. But still, I think the older one would enjoy coming up with ways to fool the younger one than being fooled. I'm not even sure why people tell this story other than tradition. It's kind of odd.

[Old Moparz]

My wife & I never played up the Santa thing for our daughter & never wanted to, but my mother did. My 7 year old daughter believes, & is decorating cookies right now to leave tomorrow night. I remember learning it was all one, big, crock of s**t, back in second grade & feeling pretty let down when I knew the truth. The thing I remember the most wasn't that I learned Santa was fake, it was the fact that everyone would "lie" to you about it. Very confusing as a kid when you're told not to lie & your own parents, grandparents, & whoever else, are all pulling a Bill Clinton on you.

So we decided to just let the Santa thing take it's own course, not build up the story, & let her figure it out. That way we, (mostly me) wouldn't have to tell her later it's all made up. Of course my own mother didn't listen to what we asked her to do, & she played up Santa to her in a huge way. I had a few words with my mother expressing some anger & told her what I was going to do. When my daughter gets around to asking me about whether Santa is real, she has to call Grandma & ask her because Grandma has all the answers & can explain it better than I could.   

You may not believe this, but to this day I still haven't said a word to my daughter about Santa & make no reference to him at all. My wife does occasionally, so now it's going to be her & my mother's problem. So if I had my choice, I wouldn't "lie" about Santa no matter how "cute" or how much "fun" it is to let a kid get caught up in all of it. Maybe I'm a hypocrite for letting it happen, & maybe it's not really a big deal, but I'm not comfortable feeding a small kid a phony story like that so they can be teased later by classmates & such.

By the way Bull, did you just agree with Last426?   

[dodgecharger-fan]

We keep up the ruse for my wife's sake. 

[Troy]

There's a group here in town that is attempting to buy billboards that say "Santa is not real" and something about it all being a lie (I don't remember the exact words). I can understand that it's your choice to tell your kids about Santa or the Easter Bunny or the Boogey Man or the Tooth Fairy but why mess with other people's family and traditions? Here's a tip: parents lie - get over it. I think (most) parents are smart enough to know when to let their own kids in on the reality of life (probably slowly) and it's not anyone else's business to dictate when that is. Holidays - especially Christmas - are about joy and hope. I think most kids are smart enough ask questions when things don't make sense.

Troy

[41husk]

There's a group here in town that is attempting to buy billboards that say "Santa is not real" and something about it all being a lie (I don't remember the exact words). I can understand that it's your choice to tell your kids about Santa or the Easter Bunny or the Boogey Man or the Tooth Fairy but why mess with other people's family and traditions? Here's a tip: parents lie - get over it. I think (most) parents are smart enough to know when to let their own kids in on the reality of life (probably slowly) and it's not anyone else's business to dictate when that is. Holidays - especially Christmas - are about joy and hope. I think most kids are smart enough ask questions when things don't make sense.

Troy

I agree,  who does it hurt to believe something is real or not real?  That is completley up to the parents and no one elses buessness.

[bull]

By the way Bull, did you just agree with Last426?   

Yea, can you believe it?

At first I enjoyed telling her the story because she was so dazzled and excited by it but now I feel bad because I have to go to such extremes to maintain it. It doesn't feel right anymore. I think I'll tell her the truth if she brings it up again. But then i have to figure out an answer to why I told her a BS story, because I know she will ask. I don't really have a good answer other than to say I'm sticking to tradition.

[nh_mopar_fan]

To quote Elwood Blues:

"I didn't lie, I bullshitted you."

[John_Kunkel]

I was 7 or 8 when I learned "the truth". My continuous queries about Santa, the Easter Bunny, et al finally drove my folks to give me the straight poop but they admonished me to not share that info with my playmates who still believed.

[69_500]

I was always told from a young age that there wasn't a Santa, and had no problem in others thinking that there was.

Now that I'm a father I don't tell my son that there is a Santa. Does he think there is? Yes, he is 3 he saw the movie Rudolph this year and thinks that there is a Santa. Does Santa buy him any presents? Nope, everything under the tree every year is from Mom, Dad, or another relative.

[Charger_Fan]

I think Santa is meant mainly for the chicks...regardless of the age. My Mom still puts "from Santa" on gifts, she thinks it's fun.
Ok, Mom.

[Lostsheep_01]

Wait, she has a problem believing his entry methods when there is no chimney, but doesn't question houses with a chimney?  Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, if you level with her and tell her that "Santa" is about the giving spirit of Christmas she'll understand and move on, like the rest of us.  None of us are scarred (except for BIgBlackDodge)! My

[bull]

I talked with her about it tonight. She asked her mom point-blank if there was really a Santa before I got home from work and my wife came clean. I told her that it's a story parents tell kids about Christmas to get them excited and have fun and she was ok with it. She laughed because we fooled her since she's a little trickster too. Sometimes she'll ring the doorbell just to see us answer the door with no one there or answer the phone hoping it's a wrong number so she can hand the phone to us after they hang up. She also agreed to keep it hush-hush for the sake of her sister but I have the feeling she's really going to pour it on with the Santa stuff over the next couple years. This ought to be interesting.

[8WHEELER]

OK, That one is settled, the next BIG one is BOYS  good luck my friend 

Dan

[bull]

OK, That one is settled, the next BIG one is BOYS  good luck my friend 

Dan

That ought to be interesting too. I've got some time but I'm going to be ready... I hope.