Any mechanics here?

[Drache]

[Plumcrazy]

Chrysler tech since 82.

[bull]

I am a mechanic by trade but I have no idea what I'm doing. 

[Drache]

So are you both certified to "yank" someone's "dipstick"?

[Ghoste]

And how long did it take to get certified if you are? 

[Plumcrazy]

And how long did it take to get certified if you are?  

I think I started taking the A.S.E certification tests around 1978.
It probably was about 1982 when I got to master classification.

[Charger_Fan]

And how long did it take to get certified if you are?  

I think I started taking the A.S.E certification tests around 1978.
It probably was about 1982 when I got to master classification.

In that case, what's the optimal preload for blue anodized muffler bearings?

[Plumcrazy]

And how long did it take to get certified if you are?  

I think I started taking the A.S.E certification tests around 1978.
It probably was about 1982 when I got to master classification.

In that case, what's the optimal preload for blue anodized muffler bearings?

That information is classified.
Go away and don't ever ask that question again.

[XP29F61]

I'm Michigan State Certified in Brakes (both auto and air), Colision Repair Mechanic, and "Tune-Up". I let most of the others lapse since I work out of my garage, and at others garages depending on the job).

I'm not certified to yank anyones dipstick. (Thank god!!!!!)

[twilt]

master tech for 6 years and YES, i am certified to yank your dipstick.  However, you  may not want me to perform the task as i might just yank it off and shove it up your tail pipe. I will also over- charge for the procedure.   
conclusion- a stupid question deserves a stupid reply.

[Silver R/T]

not really mechanic but bodyman and I still can do brakes easily, tune ups and what not

[Brock Samson]

        Shhhhhhhhhhhh...
       Don't tell anyone or i'll have to kill ya'..  

       
                http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068931/

[ChargerRob]

Licensed Airframe and Powerplant Mechanic with Inspection Authorization. In laymans terms, Aircraft Inspector. Sorry I don't yank dipsticks, but I do ground aircraft.

[XXSpiralXX]

 L15 operating engineers. Maintenance and operator. And neighborhood driveway jeroff mechanic. My own crap only.

[KMPX2]

I worked as one for many years but now I am a Millwright the money is better