What cops want the public to know:

[Wakko]

What cops would like the public to know...
When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on,
pull to the RIGHT, and Stop. We are usually required to pass cars on the
left.

When you're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind you, don't go
5 mph under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a driver
you can be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch that guy in the SUV
that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.

If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a motorcycle cop, go buy a
lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.

When we walk into restaurants or stores and you say "He did it!" or "Bob, they're here for you!" please understand we hear that five times a day and may not find it funny anymore, don't expect us to cooperate with your gag.

When you see a police officer in a restaurant or in a store shopping, now is not a good time to ask him legal questions.  We get 30 minutes, please let us enjoy them.

It's not very funny to ask an officer "Do you really like donuts?"   Few cops actually eat them, but since Dunkin Donuts gives police free coffee, we usually go there to get it.

When you see an officer conducting a traffic stop, or with a suspect in
handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for
directions. If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice when he tells you
to get lost, and don't expect the officer to take the time to explain.

If a cop causes a car accident we usually pay the price, and sometimes we
get suspended. When is the last time you got three days off [without pay]
for rear-ending a guy at Wal-Mart.

If you think you can fan all the pot smoke out of the car before we smell
it, good luck.

We know you've had more than two beers! When I've had two beers, I didn't
hit six parked cars or drive my car through the front doors of a Toys-R-Us,
pissed my pants, or passed out at a traffic light.

What cops would like the public to know...

Here's how to get out of a ticket: don't break the law.

If you drive a piece of crap, that is why you're getting pulled over. In one
shift we can pull over ten cars for minor equipment violations.
* 5 out of 10 had no vehicle insurance.
* 3 out of 10 had suspended driver's licenses.
* 2 out of 10 had warrants.
* 1 out of 10 had felony warrants.
* 1 was a known sex offender with his 12 year old niece in the car without
her mothers knowledge.

If you've just been pulled over doing 70 in a 35, do not greet the officer
with "what seems to be the problem, officer".

We get coffee breaks too, and sometimes we run into stores and do some
shopping during them.

When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting for
the officer to find the model #'s and the serial #'s of the stuff that was
taken.

Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other cops don't
like them either.

If it's nighttime and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and I
pull you over, it's not because of your skin color. I usually can't tell if
the vehicle even has a driver until the windows rolled down.

Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed
gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that
crazed gunman. If your local police agency has a helicopter everyone knows
it's loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 15-20
patrol officers, and safely chase criminals that are driving 90 MPH through
city streets. Many times the guy has no idea it's there and slows down.

Your 5 year old kid getting pushed down by another 5 year old kid is NOT a
police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the police.

If your kid won't do his homework or do his chores, 911 is not the answer
for a uniformed parent.

Police work is...writing reports.

If you rob a gas station you're only going to get $20, but I get to see a
police K-9 use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can keep the $20.

In one year of patrol work in a large city only about 10 minutes would be
cool enough to be on the television show, COPS. But if COPS was about report
writing and accident reports each show would be a year long.

Every traffic stop could end in gunfire, but we have to be polite and
professional until that time.

I've taken about the same amount of men and women to jail for domestic
violence, so NO it's not always the man.

People love fire fighters.

If you find crack pipes in the ladies purse, there is a good chance they
belong to her.

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

You can't always "press charges" and "get a police report" like they do on TV.  Your neighbor cursing you out is not a crime.

Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops also
pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey, this traffic stop is on
me.

Arguing on a traffic stop will get you a ticket, maybe more.  Being polite and courteous (hands on the wheel, no sudden moves, dome light on at night, pull far off the side or better yet down a side street) might get you just a warning.

If you argue that there's no statute for what we've pulled you over for, don't worry, we'll write it down for you.  Argue with the judge if you like.

Don't ask a pair of motorcycle cops which one is Ponch and which one is John.  Don't ask detectives which one is Cagney or which one is Starsky. 

We have no idea why there were four police cars in your neighborhood last week. 

[dodge freak]

Boy what got to you-sounds like you need a long Bushie type of a vacation. Take a month off if you can.

[Drache]

I happen to understand alot of those what Wakko just posted and how many a police officer goes through in just a single night alone. Maybe last night was a double helping for poor Wakko.

[TK73]

keep up the good work!!   

Gotta be a pain-in-the-ass job...

[Wakko]

Guys, it's not a response to something, it's a list that's informative to the general public and funny to cops.   Unfortunately, everything written on there is the result of an actual event (or two or twelve).   No work stress here, just a light and friendly topic!   

[RD]

that stuff was funny... understandable, tedious and annoying for the good guys out there, but still was funny.

thanks for the laugh wakko!

[Blown70]

Well I am nice to cops who are nice, I do get out of the way.  I got pulled over in my FIREBIRD this past weekend and was nice to the cop, although I think he had a young ride along who wanted to pull over the red sports car.  Warning, and I used SIR, and thank you.

However, I almost made one young cop PISS his pants.   Not a good Idea to pull me over in the middle of NO where when I was not speeding.  I do not think he will do it again....... I have no problem admiting when I do something.  I am not a little dude and do not like the abuse of power.......

[Todd Wilson]

What cops would like the public to know...

Here's how to get out of a ticket: don't break the law.

Or be a cop...................



Todd

[hemihead]

What's the explaination of why the cute woman that smiles at the cop gets a warning and the dude gets the ticket? Must be that police justice.... 

[dodge freak]

Oh I am not no cute little girl and I have got my fair share of warnings, tickets too. Last 10 -15 years not too many of either. Think I have gotten warnings when the cop thinks that I thought I was not doing anything wrong or when they think you know you are going to get a ticket , then they surprise you and let you off.

As far as not letting them push you around-they have the gun. The place to fight with them is in court not on the street. Don't think a unarmed guy has never been shot and killed, all the police need is to think you are going to hurt them.

[Ponch ®]

Hey Wakko...heard the one about the lady who called 911 'cause she didnt get exactly what she ordered at the drive thru?

The call is floating around online somehwhere...ill see if i can find it.

[Ponch ®]

here it is...

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/bk_911_tape.mp3

[Orange_Crush]

Not all cops target black people...

Black cops target Mexicans.

[Ponch ®]

Not all cops target black people...

Black cops target Mexicans.

Mexican cops target Mexicans.

[Silver R/T]

I think you should change your career if you dont really like it

[19Charger68]

Frankly, I don't know how you do it.  All of the crap, scumbags, & idiots that you have to put up with would be much more than I could handle.  No way could I do your job - but I'm glad someone likes to do it.  I would hate to think what this country would be like if it wasn't for the men and women in law enforcement.  Thanks for all you do!

[dodge freak]

True-you see all the jerks in life. The pay is just ok too. Thanks for looking out for us.

[derailed]

True-you see all the jerks in life. The pay is just ok too. Thanks for looking out for us.

I dont know about that, In NY the troopers here get paid pretty damn well for there job.

[red72chrgr]

  Thanks to Wakko and the others of law enforcement and the firefighters too. If people would take responsibilty and grow up instead of whining, there's a lot in this world that would be changed for the good of all of us.

[Wakko]

I think you should change your career if you dont really like it

Who said I don't like it? I love my job!

I actually prefer writing the pretty girls that flirt...cause I'm sure they've gotten out of tix before!  Guys have just as much a chance of a warning as girls, if not more, in my book.    Mojo, that clip is HILARIOUS...I love it!    Derailed, what you have to keep in mind is cost of living.  My department starts at around 40k, which sounds like alot, but when you can't buy a house for under 200k that's halfway decent, 40k suddenly isn't alot.  If I didn't already own a house, I'd be scroowed.    However, if you go up to Georgia, most cops start in the high TWENTIES.  It's rare for cops to get paid well unless the cost of living is way up there. 

Again, this thread was meant to be light hearted.   

[John_Kunkel]

What cops would like the public to know...

If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a motorcycle cop, go buy a
lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.

Why? Are motorcycle cops less lenient than cagers?

Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other cops don't
like them either.

That's not much consolation for their "victims".

Every time I read a tirade from a LEO lamenting the woes of their job I'm reminded of one simple fact, NO ONE IS DRAFTED INTO A POLICE FORCE, it's strictly voluntary, so you have only yourself to blame for signing up in the first place. Some "old timers" may have been around in more gentle times but anyone with less than 30 years should know what they're getting themselves into.

[Ponch ®]

I actually prefer writing the pretty girls that flirt...cause I'm sure they've gotten out of tix before!   

Ok..I have hypothetical ethical question for you.

Let's say you werent married, no girlfriend, what have you. You pull over really cute chick and as you're writing her a ticket she offers you a lil sumpin sumpin if you let her off. Do you take her up on it?

[bull]

I actually prefer writing the pretty girls that flirt...cause I'm sure they've gotten out of tix before!   

Ok..I have hypothetical ethical question for you.

Let's say you werent married, no girlfriend, what have you. You pull over really cute chick and as you're writing her a ticket she offers you a lil sumpin sumpin if you let her off. Do you take her up on it?

This is why Mojo could never be a cop.

[Just 6T9 CHGR]

but since Dunkin Donuts gives police free coffee, we usually go there to get it.

Really?   Isnt that some sort of bribery or mafioso tactic?  Isnt that part of the code of ethcis, that you cannot receive anything for free?
At least you shouldnt admit to gifts correct?
The rest is pretty funny though

[Rack]

Short story (hopefully):

A few years ago I was driving around in my Bronco when a driver informed me that my taillights were out (I checked it out and sure enough they weren't working). Anyway, this was an '81 bronco (I think, can't remember) and I drove to 7 different "Stop-n-Gos" to buy a fuse. Problem is all these places only had the flat fuses, not the old tube fuses. So I'm literally pulling into the 7th mini-mart - still looking for that dang fuse - when I get pulled over.

As the cop was walking to my door I told him "I know why you pulled me over. I was pulling into this store to get a fuse for my taillights". He says "How do I know you're really doing that?". So I said, "You can wait here while I go see if they have the fuses if you like". He refused and gave me a ticket (the SOB).

Moral of story: Some cops are jerks. That store had the fuse I needed too.

Also, the judge dropped the ticket cuz 1) He said that cop was a known jerk, and 2) I explained to him that I had been going from store to store to buy a fuse.


That said, my dad worked in law enforcement his whole life (Police Officer, Investigator, Highway Patrol, and Border Patrol) and I know most cops aren't like that one that gave me that ticket.


Also, I'm trying to get into the Fire Department so I hope the "People love firemen" bit is true. More specifically I hope it's "Women love firemen" but don't tell my gf I said that.