2005 Darwin Awards

[Old Moparz]

I don't know how true any of these are, but they are funny & don't surprise me because of some of the people I have actually met.

Darwin Award Winners - 2005:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. (This one's my favorite.)

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

AND THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had! Get more from the Web.

[psykicpup]

  read some of those before but they're still good

[LahTera]

 

[Charger_Fan]

I just got that list in an e-mail today, funny stuff!

[6pkrunner]

Not sure if any or all are true, but they're great.

[Telvis]

True or not, they sure are funny.

[CFMopar]

I know number 7 is true I saw that on America's dumbest criminals.

[2fast4u]

   Number 10 had me laughin' so hard that I had tears rolling down my face...........YES!!!!.......justice is served!!!!!!   

[mustanghater]

 

[John_Kunkel]

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin05.asp

[Charger4404spd]

I bet those people in #4 was really pi**ed off!  LOL

ANd #10........LMAO ! I bet the officers were really glad the owner didn't want to press charges!

[emily]

I've seen a LOT of human stupidity as a nurse, but cops certainly see more.  I don't doubt for a moment that these are true, I've seen some of them on the news.  Way funny stuff.

em

[Old Moparz]

There's been a few local news stories on the radio that made me cry from laughing. Mostly dumb criminals, like the suspect who ran from the police & could not lose them. He went through alleys & backyards, & finally tried hiding under a porch where he was caught. It turned out he ran through snow & all they did was follow his footprints.

Another story was phony prizes awarded to a list of people who had outstanding warrants for their arrest. They were mailed notices that they won something, & told to report to the claim division office with I.D. to get it. A big percentage actually showed up asking for it, showed their I.D., they were instructed to go to a room where they were easily arrested one by one. 

[SeattleCharger]

   Those are good, a couple hard to believe, I like number three.     

       Ya, Old Moparz, they did that in Tacoma here, a big city thirty miles south of Seattle.   They tried to contact everyone with a warrant outstanding and told them they won a great vacation, can't remember where, something like Puerto Valarta, something tropical, I don't know, and tons of people showed up to claim their prize.   I bet they felt pretty stupid and very pissed, almost felt sorry for them.  

[Silver R/T]

are those all true stories ha ha, can laugh for hours lmao