The K-9 diet

[Mudhawg]

     The K-9 DIET!

      I have a Labrador  Retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line  to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

      On impulse,  I told her no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I  probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd  lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the Intensive Care Unit with tubes coming  out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

      I told her that it was  essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants  pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel  hungry. Since the food is nutritionally complete and perfectly healthy, I  decided to try it again.

      I have to mention here that practically everyone  in the line was by now enthralled with my story, just hanging on my every word,  particularly a tall, black guy who was behind the woman I was describing the  diet to.

      Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the  dog food poisoned me.

      I told her no, and went on to explain that I'd been  sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

  .