Jokes, memes and general silly content....

[Kern Dog]

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought "Nap Time" was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually, I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant. And I don't have acne. Life is great.

[69rtse4spd]

How true. .

[Fred]

Must be getting old..........It's starting to make sense.

[Kern Dog]

Reaching back a bit to revive this one.




Back in the 80s, lots of women looked like this.
I immediately think of how they ALL had BUSH too.
I liked the bush.

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[tan top]

i know this is an old one & you all prolly seen it before ,  ive had a few customers like this when i was a mechanic , anyways  listen closely to what the customer is actually asking    

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDnivh5Odfk

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[John_Kunkel]

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[Kern Dog]

THIS is what it takes to dig you out of your hole? You have nothing else to contribute? No comments about projects you're working on? No vacations you've Taken?

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[John_Kunkel]

THIS is what it takes to dig you out of your hole? You have nothing else to contribute? No comments about projects you're working on? No vacations you've Taken?

Unlike you, I'm not fond of talking about myself and try to abide by the forum rules.

[Kern Dog]

If I were a loser, I wouldn't want to talk about myself either....

[John_Kunkel]

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