I can't complain, but still I do. Anyone ever try hypnotherapy?

[Dino]

Small rant to pass the time, ignore if you don't care, I won't hold it against you.

Since finishing my undergrad degree and while getting ready for grad school, I've been volunteering with a local hospice care facility.  Basically I provide company, moral support, and help to get patients and families through difficult times when the inevitable occurs.

Since last week I've been seeing a 96 year old army veteran who fought in the pacific during WW2, and who is an avid stamp collector.  He has lost just about everyone and everything he ever knew and loved, has seen things you wouldn't want your worst enemy to see, and yet he still focuses on the good things in life.

My wife has that same talent; she chooses to focus on what's good and she chooses to be happy. 

I try but I guess not enough.  I've never been truly happy, I'm not sure what it is.  I filled my life with things to get a sense of happyness but it's just fluff isn't it?  I'm doing much better now than I have before, but I have a long way to go.  I think something in my brain is broken and is preventing me from not worrying or focusing on all the crap that goes on in the world.  You know when someone asks you what your pet peeves are?  What annoys you?  Well I'm the guy that needs about a week to answer that. 

I have fought depression most of my life and although I don't have it as bad as some, I'd really like to get through this before my time comes.  I think my wife deserves better than a grumpy guy.

I started thinking about hypnotherapy; I know the science behind it, but I don't know anyone who's actually tried it.  Does anyone have any experience with it in any way, shape, or form?  I'd like to stay away from drugs.  As a society we focus way too much on treating the symptoms instead of the root cause and I'd like to exhaust all other options first.

[myk]

No experience here, although I do wish I could start seeing a therapist again.  How much does a trip to one of these specialists cost?

[Dino]

I believe it's $80 for a one hour session.  I guess it won't hurt to try but it would be nice to hear some first hand experience.

[myk]

Yeah you bring up a good point: all my therapist did was drug me to the point of being the walking dead.  At least hypnotics wouldn't have that effect...

[Dino]

A good therapist is worth his/her weight in gold, but finding one of those is not that easy. 

[skip68]

I'll talk to both you guys for $40.      
You guys always have us and this place.  I know, that's not saying much but I think it works and helps a little.   I (believe it or not) tend to mask stress or low times with humor.    It's probably a cop out just to get my mind somewhere else.  It works cause I've done it my whole life.   Nobody wants to look into the mind of skip, it's a dark place, better bring a flashlight.      
Maybe helping others Dino is a way for you to help yourself.    
Our sessions almost up so I'll wrap it up.   Do you get a feeling of being needed when volunteering for hospice?  My friend is going through something similar and has most of his adult life.   He just can't seem to find something that fills him or completes him so to speak.   He feels if he was gone tomorrow nobody would even notice he was here.   I told him I think as we get older we all have those thoughts.   He is seeing a professional and he says it's working for him.  
Side note, he's also the one that told me I'm masking my feelings with jokes.      
When I get stressed I have my motto, "just not today"   I'll work on it tomorrow.  Probably not good advice but hey, you get what you pay for.      
I think the biggest problem with my friend and people like him (maybe one of you) is he has no release, outlet or vent if you will.  Everybody needs a vent.  Mine is humor. Sometimes it's playing music with the guitar.   Actually, I've got so many interests that all work getting my mind somewhere else.   People like my friend Mike don't.  He has interests but none of them gives him enjoyment enough to be happy.   It's like he has a hole he can't seem to fill.  It makes me very sad for him and I worry about him.  Oops, times up guys.  Take care.  

[myk]

Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but I get the feeling that some people just can't find that inner stability, that inner peace, or at least spend their lives pursuing it.  A coworker just commit suicide yesterday.  To all of us she was beautiful, sexy, witty, friendly, intelligent, a positive presence no matter what the circumstances.  Personally, she was everything that I wish that I was.  But somehow she decided upon this final solution?  I manage to drag myself through the day without the gifts that God graced her with.  It's times like these that I question my own existence and place; my validity in this world...

[skip68]

I think you hit it right there.  Inner peace.   We're all important to the people around us even if we don't know it.   
In fact, more than we know.  Sorry to hear about your coworker.   

[b5blue]

  R.W. Emerson wrote: What I need is someone who will make me do what I can. (In the end that person must be yourself...correct?)  You may be struggling with things from how you were raised. It took me many years to figure out that's what was going on in my head. I'd developed a habit of layering in "backup plans" as if nothing would ever workout in the long run. Certainly not an optimistic outlook!
  I made a decision to distance myself from pessimistic friends and family till I worked it out. I realized part of my problem was my parents pretty much "expected" failure from me as my talents and aspirations were so different from my brothers. It was not until I outdistanced the lot of them that I could look back and see the subtle current I'd been swimming against most of my life.
  You constantly impress me with your achievements!  You keep pushing the Charger project forward while maintaining your educational goals and balancing family life. You've a right to complain in my book....you earned it! 
  I now work at the V.A. (In Logistics.) after making the decision to focus on getting hired there. (To help our Veterans in some way.) One of my most memorable moments was meeting Charlie. An older fella of slight build, he stepped off an elevator in front of me looking around almost as if lost. When I asked if he needed help he grinned and replied "Where can I find the most cute nurses?"  We chatted briefly, as he'd been through "The Battle of the Bulge" in WWII he told me he'd sworn to take life by the horns from that day forward. (Much like your friend.)     

[Dino]

Myk I'm so sorry to hear about you coworker, that's incredibly sad.  You just never know what demons people carry with them.  I've lost a few friends this way and I still cnnot say there were visible signs.  Depression comes in many forms and can sneak up on you fast.  Some can handle it and some can't.

Skip I don't know if I help people to help myself, I don't think I do.  I tend to help them because the health are system is so focused on the bottom dollar that I feel the need to go the extra mile.  To give these people the feeling that someone does give a damn about them.  I use humor al the time as well, but it's basically just masking the underlying problems.  A few weeks ago I was driving and a song came on he radio that I hadn't heard in at least 25 years.  I threw me back to a time when I was a kid and I broke down.  I was a bit freaked out that his happened, I didn't see it coming nor did I even realize at the time why it happened in the first place.  I had blocked a bad experience that was released through this song.  This was just another reminder to find the root cause of the issue and stop running.  Once I composed myself I drove home, downloaded the song and listened to it over and over while I faced those demons.  It's not a fun thing to do but it has to be done.

Neil I totally get what you're saying and you were right in distancing yourself from a source that was draining your energy.  I had to do it with certain friends and family members myself.  Thanks for the compliments, but credit for my achievements goes to my wife.  I could not do all this without her.  Kudos on working for the VA and making a difference.     Charlie sounds like a role model to me and yeah he does sound like my new buddy.   

I'm going to take a break from the car, I'm not motivated in any way, shape, or form these days to do anything to it.  When that happens it's wise to just step away for a while.  The budget dried up as well so I won't be able to put the engine and suspension back together for who knows how long.  Once I get my feet back under me I'll clean up the trans and do some electrical repairs.  At least I don't need to buy any parts for that.

[b5blue]

  In 60 years I've come to see we all build boxes of a sort around us mentally. Habits grow, good and bad ones, we cope with the results of the bad not seeing the possibility of change. (Or the nature of it's burden.) When helping my Uncle rehab his home so he could get a reverse loan I saw the effect of Parkinson on someones daily life. This kind loving man had a garage and storage unit full of tools and potential projects he'd amassed his whole life that he didn't see he was never going to use/do. It made me see that in everyone's life a day comes when things put off will never happen. It won't be known to us, we will see no sign, it just comes and passes by. Now at the V.A. I see many more examples similar.
  It reinforced my will to do what I can while I can and to thoroughly enjoy even what sucks!  Take (Or give yourself.) the time to enjoy some part of every day! The car will wait for you, mine has hung around 20 years.     

[sunfire69]

I can't say how it works....or if it works in all situations with all people but.....
My parents tried to quit smoking for years...they tried cold turkey....weaning themselves off....patches, gums, pills, accu puncture,, nothing worked, then my dad heard an ad for hypnotherapy to help people stop smoking...so he and my mother decided what the heck, nothing else had worked and as I remember it wasn't super expensive ( if it was my dad wouldn't have done it) so they decided to make an evening out of it...went to dinner then when and got hypnotized ....and it was the last time either one of them lit a cigarette, neither one went into withdrawl...neither one even wanted a cigarette after that...nothing...I have no idea why it worked on them...they had treated it as kind of a lark..a what the heck it sounds fun kind of thing...but they both really wanted to stop smoking...neither one of them ever picked up a cigarette again.....

[skip68]

I think some people are more receptive to it.   That's awesome sunfire.       If you want to do it Dino then you definitely should.