Colonoscopy comments

[1973_WP29P]

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by
his (predominately male) patients while he was performing their
colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

13. Hey, doc... you lookin' for cavities?  'Cause I already GOT a
dentist!"

((( And the best one of all... )))

14. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?"