Social Media - Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube etc.

[Shakey]

Last night I went to my 11 year old daughter's school for a presentation on social media and its pros & cons.  The school brought in a speaker who taught the children (Grade 4 - 8 ) how to use it effectively and what to do and what not to do.  All the students attended the presentation during the afternoon and in the evening the parents were invited to attend with their children.

While I have a LinkedIn account, I do not have any other social media accounts.  However what I learned last night has made me rethink my thoughts on this.

Here's why - it's a great way to stay in touch / keep an eye on you children.  They will be using these apps and I want to know who they are talking to, who/what they are following and guide them as to what they should or should not say online.

The take away from last night...

 You will be Googled - think well in advance of what you post as it's out there forever
 If your family is connected via these apps, everyone will think twice about what they intend to post
 Discussing the days events at dinner each night will include the topic of what was viewed / shared today via these apps
 Should your child have a bad experience via these apps - you will not be on the outside looking in and not know how to help

What are your experiences / thoughts on social media?

Do you have children that you are connected with via these apps?

Have you ever had to step in and scold, help or guide your loved ones?

As I start to learn more about these apps, I may just turn to you folks for advice and guidance.

Thanks in advance!  

[Shakey]

BTW - the photo in my post above was probably the most important take away from last nights presentation.

What to consider before you post - does the post relate to your:

Character
Honesty
Compassion & Values
Integrity

[Old Moparz]

There are so many social media sites out there it's mind blowing & next to impossible to keep up with. When my daughter, who is almost 16 now, tells me about something she read, she'll mention the site. Sometimes I know the name but a lot of other times I've never heard of it. I used to sign up to the sites she went to regularly when she was younger to get a grasp of what's on it, but not anymore.

From conversations we have it appears she spends her time on about 5 or 6 sites such as Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Youtube & a couple more that I forget at the moment. She's sometimes on facebook, but facebook is not "the cool place to be" when your parents are on it, too.     If kids know they're being watched on one site they can easily move onto another & remain hidden.

My wife & I talk to her about things openly & she talks to us as well. We've done this since she was very young & so far it has worked. She's been warned about what to be cautious of online since she started going on the computer. When she tells us about one of her friends doing something dumb, or getting into trouble because of something they posted online we remind her about how "guilt by association" is possible.

She's mature enough to where I have witnessed her not hanging out with certain friends because of their behavior online or in person. That in itself tells me she's earned our trust & respect to where I don't need to look over her shoulder at everything she does. If her grades in school start slipping then I know it's time to scrutinize what she is up to, but until then I am not too worried. My own parents treated me & my sister in a similar way & neither of us wanted to lose the trust or respect & stayed in line. Yes, we both did some dumb crap, we all did, but it was nothing compared to a few people we knew.

How internet access is handled varies on each kid because there is no blanket management plan that works for everyone. Hell, you can see it right here on this forum with the varied behavior of certain adults that have to be monitored all the time. 

[Dmichels]

This is a good post for all the parents out there. My step son is no in his 30's Looking back, all I can say is TALK TO YOUR KIDS, and be a part of their life. Rules only work if they understand why you are setting them. I never told him not to drink. I told him not to drink and drive and not to ride with anyone who was drinking. I told him I would always be available to pick him up no questions asked. I remember when he went to his first HS party. He called us at 8:30 and said he was sleeping over. A few days latter he confused to us he got drunk. We spoke about it and there was no punishment. I think this open dialog helped him make responsible decisions.
Dave

[Shakey]

Bob it seems you and I are thinking the same way when it comes to communicating and raising children.

What was good about last nights event was it brought me up to speed on what apps are being used nowadays.  I also learned that they change frequently.  Seems Facebook use is down because, as you stated, all the "grown ups" are on there.

Although my daughter is only 11, she seems pretty mature and wise enough to know right from wrong and who she wants to associate with and who she doesn't.  She's been bugging me to join Instagram and I have kept saying no.  My reason for saying no is because I don't know anything about it which concerns me.

Time for me to wise up so I can make educated decisions and perhaps together her and I can learn about Instagram.

[Shakey]

Dave - you are correct - communication is most important, even if it is through social media sometimes!

This generation of parents are pioneers in a sense as we are the first to have to coach and guide our children through this new way of communicating with each other.  Like it or not, social media is here to stay.

Oh and last night, at a school of 900+ students, I would say there were only about 20 parents in the gymnasium for the presentation.  I was shocked as I figured it would have been full.   

[redmist]

Another idea folks can do with the kids is have them put all their passwords in a sealed envelope. Keep it sealed, and only open it in cases of an emergency.

[tcs69rt]

"Facebook is the devil" at least that's what I say here in Child Protection. I was on facebook for a few years and it's great to find old military friends. Now I use it to hunt for abuse and neglect. You would be amazed at how many idiots beat on their kids and they proudly post pics of it for me to find.  I also like when sex offenders fail to register in our state but will put their new location on facebook and we find them. It all has it's pros and cons....teach your kids about online predators and cyber bullying, because sadly it does happen. Thanks TC

[Steve P.]

I totally agree with all above and would add this: Always make sure your kids know and completely understand that they can talk to you about anything. Even if they think you might think it's stupid. Most kids do know they can tell mom about some things and dad about other things, but I recently read that most kids think that they are being foolish or can handle something on their own because they feel it isn't important enough to talk to a parent about. Something they never realize is just how fast things snowball...

Great topic Shakey!!   

[Shakey]

Another idea folks can do with the kids is have them put all their passwords in a sealed envelope. Keep it sealed, and only open it in cases of an emergency.

My daughters understand that I need to know the passwords of their devices so I can read what they've been up to on a regular basis.  If there is a time when I cannot access their device, they lose it for a week.