What are Some Good Comebacks...

[Cooter]

As an owner I f a GL, I hadda typical Corvette douchebag come up to my car and state "who painted this?"
Reply "me"
"First time huh?"
Reply "no"
"There's a run right here"
"No, that's just shit body work"
"You need to take YOUR car  to so and so"
Reply "no, cause I guarantee nobody can beat my price. Where's your car?"
" I own both the 91 and 68 Vetted"
Reply "well, (lookin at the side pipes on his 68) 1972 called, they want their lake pipes back"

[Back N Black]

I had a kid telling me that his friends Honda would blow the doors of my charger, i said what's under the hood? he said a 2 liter. I told him only milk comes in 2 liters. 

[EccentricMagpies]

I have never had any issue with anyone being a problem. In fact it is usually the opposite. I find that people are nicer, more friendly and open to chat when I drive one of my chargers. It seems most people just stick to themselves for the most part. But when you are out with a great car people it breaks down the barriers that people put up. If fact it would be a great dating service for lonely middle age women. Rent them a charger for a day for some big bucks and guarantee that at least 3 or 4 guys will strike up a conversation with them. Might make enough money to buy a small fleet of them.

I agree.

To me, it seems that the guy asking to drive the car was only saying 'Hi' in a roundabout way.

[Ponch ®]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

[HeavyFuel]

So if either of them call you back later and make the offer are you going to live up to your end and let him drive your car?

  Damn...never thought of that.  She wasn't worth the price of admission, if you know what I mean.   

[HeavyFuel]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

(Ponch, Cooter, BNB got the idea behind this thread.  We all get the sorted comments about our cars....this is about the WITTY stuff you come back with.   )

[Shakey]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

(Ponch, Cooter, BNB got the idea behind this thread.  We all get the sorted comments about our cars....this is about the WITTY stuff you come back with.   )

WTF - you didn't like my stinky pu$$y comeback?    

[HeavyFuel]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

(Ponch, Cooter, BNB and SHAKEY got the idea behind this thread.  We all get the sorted comments about our cars....this is about the WITTY stuff you come back with.   )

Fixed!

[Shakey]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

(Ponch, Cooter, BNB and SHAKEY got the idea behind this thread.  We all get the sorted comments about our cars....this is about the WITTY stuff you come back with.   )

Fixed!

[Ghoste]

I think we all got it but the rest of us just aren't that witty. 

[Kern Dog]

Sometimes I tell people..."Make like a dick and beat it."
I do not do this anywhere near the car though.

[lloyd3]

These old cars come under the heading of  being an "attractive nuisance" and as such will likely get you lots of attention and comments. Most of mine have been pretty good over the years. If someone is getting on my nerves and is starting to ask money questions, I generally become pretty irreverent. Comments like "This ol' thing? or This Dirty ol' Dodge? start to get uttered, and I seldom give them the answer they're looking for.  I generally don't get defensive about letting somebody drive it, I just shake my had and say "no".

Thankfully, most folks are nice in this little part of the world.

[Mike DC]

To me, it seems that the guy asking to drive the car was only saying 'Hi' in a roundabout way.

I think that accounts for so many "idiotic things people say about your car".  Lots of people are just striking up a conversation.  What they asked or said was secondary.

[ChargerST]

Around here the only thing people ask me is about fuel consumption (I guess it's because nobody really knows anything about American cars in Austria) - gets kinda lame after a while. Here are some good lines:

"what does it need?"
"gasoline..."
"yeah ok, I meant how much does it consume?"
"about 7 liters (we rate fuel consumption by how many liters per 100 kilometers).."
"that's not much..I thought it would be more"
"yeah, it's 7 liters per 25 kilometers"

another good one is:
"how much does it need?"
"none, it's an electric car!"

or when people give stupid comments about something not 100% original (even if they don't have any clue) etc.:
"this is wrong blablabla"
"and where is your Charger?"

usually shuts them up

[stripedelete]

My car was finished this summer, so I haven't had to deal with any dumb comments, but, I've had to deal with a repetitive one (mostly from neighbors).
My answer has been fun to watch:

Q.    When did you get this?

A.     July,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, of 1984.

Silence. Tilted head.

[tcs69rt]

The only request to drive mine came from a derelict 28 yr old (son of a friend) who can't hold a job or a woman too long. Numerous speeding tickets and accidents too. Recently he got his ass handed to him in a bar (I saw the police report) but told all of us that he was a "hit and run" victim after leaving the bar. I said he could drive my Charger just as soon as his dumbass learned to cross the street without getting "run over" 

[ramairthree]

Once or twice a year, either in my daily driver Challenger,
or my 69 GTO.
(the 71 Javelin and 74 are not near as done and not near driven as much)
I will get some guy in a Vette, usually a few years old,
that pulls up next to me in a lot or at the gas station,

and says=
You want to race
or
Pretty, but not as fast as this.

My comeback for this is:
Sure, Let's head to the strip and see who can drive 5 people the fastest in the quarter.

[Cooter]

Contrary to popular belief here, I'm usually a laid back type at car cruises/shows. I don't chase trophies.
therefore, I don't get all beat up when my junk doesn't win.

However, I do have a real problem with the inevitable, low self esteem,  gotta be the guy who spits out stupid sh*t about your ride just to see if he can take  the shine of you and your car.
once this happens, gloves are off. There are unwritten rules of life. Some haven't been taught these.
witty comebacks are a simple way of showing these idiots that before the headlines in the local paper read:
"Dumbass couldn't keep mouth shut. Now in hospital after running up on that one guy"

There are people in this world that will kill you for just words. I learned this first hand when I saw my first man shot at age 16. Nothing but words, yet the other guy didn't see the humor. I think if more people thought this through, there would be no need for come-backs.

You don't grab another man's woman. You don't spit into the wind. You don't tug on superman's cape, and you don't open your mouth with some stupid crack about some guy's car, or you just might meet Bad, bad Jim.

[ramairthree]

Yep,
its not usually the other classic owners that bust on your incorrect tail pipe ends, etc.

It is usually the biggest looking, liquor cycle driving "I suck at life" loser with the
is it all numbers matching
bet you wish it was real
is that a small block or big block (Pontiac)
etc. questions

[Chargen69]

or when people give stupid comments about something not 100% original (even if they don't have any clue) etc.:
"this is wrong blablabla"
"and where is your Charger?"

usually shuts them up

that is perfect, i have to remember that one, first show is next week.

[Patronus]

Seems I always get the same thing:
"Who painted this?"
I did...
Then they throw their hands up in the air and stamp off.
Not very witty I know.
One time this kid kept touching it. I crept up behind him and started visibly shaking. And then very calmly whispered into his ear, "dont ever touch the car"

[dyslexic teddybear]

One time this kid kept touching it. I crept up behind him and started visibly shaking. And then very calmly whispered into his ear, "dont ever touch the car"

Genius!!

[Shakey]

Contrary to popular belief here, I'm usually a laid back type at car cruises/shows. I don't chase trophies.
therefore, I don't get all beat up when my junk doesn't win.

However, I do have a real problem with the inevitable, low self esteem,  gotta be the guy who spits out stupid sh*t about your ride just to see if he can take  the shine of you and your car.
once this happens, gloves are off. There are unwritten rules of life. Some haven't been taught these.
witty comebacks are a simple way of showing these idiots that before the headlines in the local paper read:
"Dumbass couldn't keep mouth shut. Now in hospital after running up on that one guy"

There are people in this world that will kill you for just words. I learned this first hand when I saw my first man shot at age 16. Nothing but words, yet the other guy didn't see the humor. I think if more people thought this through, there would be no need for come-backs.

You don't grab another man's woman. You don't spit into the wind. You don't tug on superman's cape, and you don't open your mouth with some stupid crack about some guy's car, or you just might meet Bad, bad Jim.

The English language is very powerful and you can tell someone to f#&k off without ever using those words.  If you choose your words wisely, it will usually be about 10 minutes after you have parted company that the receiver of your comments will figure out what he was instructed to do!   

[Ghoste]

Yyyyup. 

[Sublime/Sixpack]

Since there are a lot of loose cannons in society these days, I try to brush off what I consider to be dumbass remarks from dumbass people. I try not to get caught up in so called "clever come backs". I figure I'll live longer that way, and live free rather than behind bars. 
Maybe I've mellowed more than some here but personally I first try to consider the source, try to be slow to anger, and try to be more tolerant of people when they make thoughtless remarks.
An intelligent, educated and well adjusted man once suggested to me "if you are offended by something someone says to you, it's because you have chosen to be offended".     
Now I can't say I totally agree with his statement, but keeping it in mind has kept me out of a lot of trouble off and on through the years.
My