What are Some Good Comebacks...

[HeavyFuel]

.....that you've said people when they say or ask something dumb about your car. 

I know the best policy is to be polite, but from time to time it's just too tempting, and you need to fire back a smart remark.



The other day I was sitting at a traffic light and a guy I know pulls up next to me and yells, "Can I drive your car?"

My reply was, "Can I screw your wife?"   

She was in his truck with him.   Their expressions were priceless.

[moparnation74]

I love it when they ask:

So what do you do for a living?

What do I do for a living?  Well, I wait to receive my monthly government assistance check!  Thank you for your contribution!

[Homerr]

About driving the car:

[Shakey]

.....that you've said people when they say or ask something dumb about your car. 

I know the best policy is to be polite, but from time to time it's just too tempting, and you need to fire back a smart remark.



The other day I was sitting at a traffic light and a guy I know pulls up next to me and yells, "Can I drive your car?"

My reply was, "Can I screw your wife?"   

She was in his truck with him.   Their expressions were priceless.

[Shakey]

Keeping in mind I have only been able to put 700 miles on my car since it has hit the road about a month ago, I have not had many run ins with the "know it alls".

I do know that when I do encounter these folks, I will not get baited into a conversation/debate about my car or any other for that matter.  I will simply agree and move on.

As far as comebacks, I met a guy in the summer when I was out with Dodge Don who told us how a woman pulled up beside his Cutlass at a stop light and stated that "his car stinks"!  This guy was classy enough to ignore her as her children were in the car.  I told him that I would have come back with something along the lines of:

"seeing as you look the same age as my car, I'll bet your pu$$y stinks just as bad".

[John_Kunkel]

Around here a comeback like that might result in you staring down the muzzle of a nine.

[myk]

I just say it's not really mine, I was just standing next to it...

[69chargerboy]

I get the same questions as stated earlier, I seem to get "Hey how much you think its worth?"  If the person is a dick, I say none of your business. If there not a dick, I say that my car is invaluable to me. It was a father/son project. I have a hard time being a mean person. I view asking me the worth of my car is a threat. I don't like it, I hope I'm not overreacting... I really want to say is leave me the F*** alone and show them my carry/conceal gun. LOL

[HeavyFuel]

Around here a comeback like that might result in you staring down the muzzle of a nine.

Mine or Shakey's?

If it's me.......well, like I said, I knew the guy and would think twice about saying such things to sketchy types.      And they better make the first shot count...my carry permit isn't just for show.....  

[tan top]

.....that you've said people when they say or ask something dumb about your car. 

I know the best policy is to be polite, but from time to time it's just too tempting, and you need to fire back a smart remark.



The other day I was sitting at a traffic light and a guy I know pulls up next to me and yells, "Can I drive your car?"

My reply was, "Can I screw your wife?"   

She was in his truck with him.   Their expressions were priceless.

[Ghoste]

So if either of them call you back later and make the offer are you going to live up to your end and let him drive your car?

[moparnation74]

So if either of them call you back later and make the offer are you going to live up to your end and let him drive your car?

Now that would be interesting, indeed.  At that point, I hope one made a good judgement call, lol.

[HANDM]

Whatever the dumb question, I will always answer "what? this stupid old car?" hop in and drive away.....

[tan top]

So if either of them call you back later and make the offer are you going to live up to your end and let him drive your car?

Now that would be interesting, indeed.  At that point, I hope one made a good judgement call, lol.

    need picture of wife , to evaluate if its a good trade      

[Dino]

I must say I have had nothing but positive experiences lately.  Most of the time people walk up when I'm pumping gas and they have all been curteous and kind.  I do get the occasional nimrod riding my tail while holding their phone up to take pics or to record video and that gets annoying because if something makes me hit the brakes I'm going to have to kill the sob for hitting the car.  The last one did it while I was on the highway so I quickly changed lanes, hit the brakes and went back right behind him.  He got a bit confused but eventually got the message and put the phone down.   I  don't take my eyes off the road while driving, someone has to pay attention here, but it seems to me that most people don't look twice at the car.  Maybe they're getting used to seeing it around these parts or they really don't care about the old dinosaur.

[bill440rt]

I must say I have had nothing but positive experiences lately.  Most of the time people walk up when I'm pumping gas and they have all been curteous and kind. 

Same here, for most of the time.
The two questions that I cannot stand at all are, in no particular order:
How much do you have in it?
and...  What's it worth?

The only answers I can offer are:
Why do you give a flying sh*t?
and... It doesn't matter because it's not for sale anyway.

[HANDM]

I must say I have had nothing but positive experiences lately.  Most of the time people walk up when I'm pumping gas and they have all been curteous and kind. 

Same here, for most of the time.
The two questions that I cannot stand at all are, in no particular order:
How much do you have in it?
and...  What's it worth?

The only answers I can offer are:
Why do you give a flying sh*t?
and... It doesn't matter because it's not for sale anyway.

I say "about 37 cents on the floor mat" or "twenty bucks at any given time" referring to the gas

If someone asks if it's for sale I say "do you see a for sale sign in the window?"

[RallyeMike]

   Somebody at the Geritol factory must have pissed in a batch    

[workworkwork]

I have never had any issue with anyone being a problem. In fact it is usually the opposite. I find that people are nicer, more friendly and open to chat when I drive one of my chargers. It seems most people just stick to themselves for the most part. But when you are out with a great car people it breaks down the barriers that people put up. If fact it would be a great dating service for lonely middle age women. Rent them a charger for a day for some big bucks and guarantee that at least 3 or 4 guys will strike up a conversation with them. Might make enough money to buy a small fleet of them.

[Mike DC]

I just say it's not really mine, I was just standing next to it...

It's always fun to walk up next to someone looking at the car and start looking along with them, pretending not to be the owner either.  Especially with a General Lee.  You hear some amusing remarks about what kind of person would drive that thing, etc. 

[fy469rtse]

I swear its stock 

[don duick]

don't get much attention round here (Sydney Australia) I don't think many people know what it is.

[Ghoste]

Actually I don't get dumb questions either.

[myk]

don't get much attention round here (Sydney Australia) I don't think many people know what it is.

Just tell them it's an old Holden prototype...

[don duick]

don't get much attention round here (Sydney Australia) I don't think many people know what it is.

Just tell them it's an old Holden prototype...

OK  will try and remember that

[Cooter]

As an owner I f a GL, I hadda typical Corvette douchebag come up to my car and state "who painted this?"
Reply "me"
"First time huh?"
Reply "no"
"There's a run right here"
"No, that's just shit body work"
"You need to take YOUR car  to so and so"
Reply "no, cause I guarantee nobody can beat my price. Where's your car?"
" I own both the 91 and 68 Vetted"
Reply "well, (lookin at the side pipes on his 68) 1972 called, they want their lake pipes back"

[Back N Black]

I had a kid telling me that his friends Honda would blow the doors of my charger, i said what's under the hood? he said a 2 liter. I told him only milk comes in 2 liters. 

[EccentricMagpies]

I have never had any issue with anyone being a problem. In fact it is usually the opposite. I find that people are nicer, more friendly and open to chat when I drive one of my chargers. It seems most people just stick to themselves for the most part. But when you are out with a great car people it breaks down the barriers that people put up. If fact it would be a great dating service for lonely middle age women. Rent them a charger for a day for some big bucks and guarantee that at least 3 or 4 guys will strike up a conversation with them. Might make enough money to buy a small fleet of them.

I agree.

To me, it seems that the guy asking to drive the car was only saying 'Hi' in a roundabout way.

[Ponch ®]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

[HeavyFuel]

So if either of them call you back later and make the offer are you going to live up to your end and let him drive your car?

  Damn...never thought of that.  She wasn't worth the price of admission, if you know what I mean.   

[HeavyFuel]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

(Ponch, Cooter, BNB got the idea behind this thread.  We all get the sorted comments about our cars....this is about the WITTY stuff you come back with.   )

[Shakey]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

(Ponch, Cooter, BNB got the idea behind this thread.  We all get the sorted comments about our cars....this is about the WITTY stuff you come back with.   )

WTF - you didn't like my stinky pu$$y comeback?    

[HeavyFuel]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

(Ponch, Cooter, BNB and SHAKEY got the idea behind this thread.  We all get the sorted comments about our cars....this is about the WITTY stuff you come back with.   )

Fixed!

[Shakey]

Drove out to lunch in the Satellite with a rather comely co-worker a few months ago:

guy at stop light: [thumbs up] "Nice ride...wanna sell it?"

me: "the car or the girl?"

Guy laughs, co-worker not so much.

(Ponch, Cooter, BNB and SHAKEY got the idea behind this thread.  We all get the sorted comments about our cars....this is about the WITTY stuff you come back with.   )

Fixed!

[Ghoste]

I think we all got it but the rest of us just aren't that witty. 

[Kern Dog]

Sometimes I tell people..."Make like a dick and beat it."
I do not do this anywhere near the car though.

[lloyd3]

These old cars come under the heading of  being an "attractive nuisance" and as such will likely get you lots of attention and comments. Most of mine have been pretty good over the years. If someone is getting on my nerves and is starting to ask money questions, I generally become pretty irreverent. Comments like "This ol' thing? or This Dirty ol' Dodge? start to get uttered, and I seldom give them the answer they're looking for.  I generally don't get defensive about letting somebody drive it, I just shake my had and say "no".

Thankfully, most folks are nice in this little part of the world.

[Mike DC]

To me, it seems that the guy asking to drive the car was only saying 'Hi' in a roundabout way.

I think that accounts for so many "idiotic things people say about your car".  Lots of people are just striking up a conversation.  What they asked or said was secondary.

[ChargerST]

Around here the only thing people ask me is about fuel consumption (I guess it's because nobody really knows anything about American cars in Austria) - gets kinda lame after a while. Here are some good lines:

"what does it need?"
"gasoline..."
"yeah ok, I meant how much does it consume?"
"about 7 liters (we rate fuel consumption by how many liters per 100 kilometers).."
"that's not much..I thought it would be more"
"yeah, it's 7 liters per 25 kilometers"

another good one is:
"how much does it need?"
"none, it's an electric car!"

or when people give stupid comments about something not 100% original (even if they don't have any clue) etc.:
"this is wrong blablabla"
"and where is your Charger?"

usually shuts them up

[stripedelete]

My car was finished this summer, so I haven't had to deal with any dumb comments, but, I've had to deal with a repetitive one (mostly from neighbors).
My answer has been fun to watch:

Q.    When did you get this?

A.     July,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, of 1984.

Silence. Tilted head.

[tcs69rt]

The only request to drive mine came from a derelict 28 yr old (son of a friend) who can't hold a job or a woman too long. Numerous speeding tickets and accidents too. Recently he got his ass handed to him in a bar (I saw the police report) but told all of us that he was a "hit and run" victim after leaving the bar. I said he could drive my Charger just as soon as his dumbass learned to cross the street without getting "run over" 

[ramairthree]

Once or twice a year, either in my daily driver Challenger,
or my 69 GTO.
(the 71 Javelin and 74 are not near as done and not near driven as much)
I will get some guy in a Vette, usually a few years old,
that pulls up next to me in a lot or at the gas station,

and says=
You want to race
or
Pretty, but not as fast as this.

My comeback for this is:
Sure, Let's head to the strip and see who can drive 5 people the fastest in the quarter.

[Cooter]

Contrary to popular belief here, I'm usually a laid back type at car cruises/shows. I don't chase trophies.
therefore, I don't get all beat up when my junk doesn't win.

However, I do have a real problem with the inevitable, low self esteem,  gotta be the guy who spits out stupid sh*t about your ride just to see if he can take  the shine of you and your car.
once this happens, gloves are off. There are unwritten rules of life. Some haven't been taught these.
witty comebacks are a simple way of showing these idiots that before the headlines in the local paper read:
"Dumbass couldn't keep mouth shut. Now in hospital after running up on that one guy"

There are people in this world that will kill you for just words. I learned this first hand when I saw my first man shot at age 16. Nothing but words, yet the other guy didn't see the humor. I think if more people thought this through, there would be no need for come-backs.

You don't grab another man's woman. You don't spit into the wind. You don't tug on superman's cape, and you don't open your mouth with some stupid crack about some guy's car, or you just might meet Bad, bad Jim.

[ramairthree]

Yep,
its not usually the other classic owners that bust on your incorrect tail pipe ends, etc.

It is usually the biggest looking, liquor cycle driving "I suck at life" loser with the
is it all numbers matching
bet you wish it was real
is that a small block or big block (Pontiac)
etc. questions

[Chargen69]

or when people give stupid comments about something not 100% original (even if they don't have any clue) etc.:
"this is wrong blablabla"
"and where is your Charger?"

usually shuts them up

that is perfect, i have to remember that one, first show is next week.

[Patronus]

Seems I always get the same thing:
"Who painted this?"
I did...
Then they throw their hands up in the air and stamp off.
Not very witty I know.
One time this kid kept touching it. I crept up behind him and started visibly shaking. And then very calmly whispered into his ear, "dont ever touch the car"

[dyslexic teddybear]

One time this kid kept touching it. I crept up behind him and started visibly shaking. And then very calmly whispered into his ear, "dont ever touch the car"

Genius!!

[Shakey]

Contrary to popular belief here, I'm usually a laid back type at car cruises/shows. I don't chase trophies.
therefore, I don't get all beat up when my junk doesn't win.

However, I do have a real problem with the inevitable, low self esteem,  gotta be the guy who spits out stupid sh*t about your ride just to see if he can take  the shine of you and your car.
once this happens, gloves are off. There are unwritten rules of life. Some haven't been taught these.
witty comebacks are a simple way of showing these idiots that before the headlines in the local paper read:
"Dumbass couldn't keep mouth shut. Now in hospital after running up on that one guy"

There are people in this world that will kill you for just words. I learned this first hand when I saw my first man shot at age 16. Nothing but words, yet the other guy didn't see the humor. I think if more people thought this through, there would be no need for come-backs.

You don't grab another man's woman. You don't spit into the wind. You don't tug on superman's cape, and you don't open your mouth with some stupid crack about some guy's car, or you just might meet Bad, bad Jim.

The English language is very powerful and you can tell someone to f#&k off without ever using those words.  If you choose your words wisely, it will usually be about 10 minutes after you have parted company that the receiver of your comments will figure out what he was instructed to do!   

[Ghoste]

Yyyyup. 

[Sublime/Sixpack]

Since there are a lot of loose cannons in society these days, I try to brush off what I consider to be dumbass remarks from dumbass people. I try not to get caught up in so called "clever come backs". I figure I'll live longer that way, and live free rather than behind bars. 
Maybe I've mellowed more than some here but personally I first try to consider the source, try to be slow to anger, and try to be more tolerant of people when they make thoughtless remarks.
An intelligent, educated and well adjusted man once suggested to me "if you are offended by something someone says to you, it's because you have chosen to be offended".     
Now I can't say I totally agree with his statement, but keeping it in mind has kept me out of a lot of trouble off and on through the years.
My 

[68RT4ME]

I just start explaining the car to them in 100mph Spanish with a few expletives thrown in and they walk off....

[Kern Dog]

Good move. I'm getting Rosetta Stone so I can do the same.