Actual court recorded questions/answers from attorney's and witnesses

[SeattleCharger]

Why am I not surprised?
These are from a book called  "Disorder in the
American Courts," and
are  things people actually said  in court, word for
word, taken down
and now  published by court  reporters who had the
torment of staying
calm while these exchanges were  actually taking
place.
_____________________________

ATTORNEY:  Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia  gravis, does it affect
your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And  in what ways does it affect your
memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY:  You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you
forgot?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son,  the one living with
you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't
remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS:  Forty-five years.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY:  What was the first thing your husband
said to you that
morning?
WITNESS:  He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your  daughter has ever
been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS:  Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now  doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know  about it until the next
morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar  exam?
___________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest  son, the twenty-one year
old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one..
________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present  when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of  conception (of the baby)
was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And  what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three  children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS:  None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first  marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was  it terminated?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can  you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a
beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance  here this morning
pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your  attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of  your autopsies have
you performed on
dead people?
WITNESS: All my  autopsies are performed on dead
people.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses  MUST be oral, OK? What
school did you
go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the  time that you examined
the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30  p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was  sitting on the table wondering
why I was doing
an autopsy on him!
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you  performed the autopsy,
did you check
for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY  Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is  possible that the patient
was alive when
you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:  Because his brain was sitting on my desk
in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the  patient have still been
alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible  that he could have
been alive and
practicing law.

[Silver R/T]

lol, hilarious

[tan top]

  they  were good

[doctorpimp]

LOL

[69_500]

The last one is the greatest.

[my73charger]

LOL!!

[Chargen69]

That is pathetic, but funny

[Charger4404spd]

LMAO, I like the last one. Stupid lawyers!

[Blue Pentastar]

That is great it got better as you went down.

[Ghoste]

That is one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

[golden73]

Man, I cannot believe how stupid these clowns are!!!

And to think... these are some of the people trying to put the bad guys away