Old school hand me down values.......

[RECHRGD]

I realize that our society has changed dramatically in the last few decades.  But, I'm having issues with the lack of sentimental value of old family possessions.  Both of my daughters, in there 40's, seem like they couldn't care less about family treasures, including pictures.  I get the concept that grandma's 1800's old china dishware is never used, so why not sell it.  But it hurts, just the same.  I see my Grandson drueling over the Charger without regard for my connection to it.  Anyway, I guess this is just an old man's rant......

[68X426]

issues with the lack of sentimental value of old family possessions.  Both of my daughters, in there 40's, seem like they couldn't care less about family treasures, including pictures. 

It's everywhere.  You are not alone.  Maybe there's hope for you with grandkids or great-grandkids.  Ancestry.com might be scoring attention with the younger folks. 

Sad to say that often it takes a death of a family elder to trigger the brain and heart to learn something about family and the past. 

Please don't you test this.  Stay alive. 

The same sorry state of affairs exist in my family.  My wife has built a fine history of her family, but her younger relatives don't care (yes they are in their 40s).

[Mytur Binsdirti]

Old photos don't mean much these days. After my mom died  last year (dad died 6 years ago), we cleaned out the attic & looking through all the old photos there are so many pictures of people we don't know & pictures of places they went to on vacation and unfortunately, they mean nothing to us. Of course, pictures of my parents when they were young and 40-50 year old pictures of my grandparents mean something to me, but they won't matter at all to my kids. I hate to say it, but unless your possessions are computer related, your grandkids won't want them at all. It's sad to say, but once we assume room temperature, trinkets get divvied up, clothes go into a Goodwill box, furniture gets sold at yard sales and what doesn't sell gets junked. We visit our parents at the cemetery, but how many times do you visit your grandparents? Unfortunately, in time, you just become another name on a stone that no one ever knew. Sobering, isn't it?  

[charge69]

Seems like 99 times out of 100, a treasured auto that Grandpa put his blood, sweat, and tears into as well as his hard-earned money will quickly get sold off for the money by those that inherit them.  That goes for most anything of value you might own. Cars, jewels, watches, guns, etc.

It has become apparent that most would be better off selling the treasures ourselves and using the money the way WE wanted it instead of how THEY would use it!  They would probably blow it on something you would never consider so .............. have fun and use it yourself!   Relatives seem to fight over $20.00 left in the estate, DO NOT let them fight over your Charger only for the winner to quickly sell it off and spend the money!   Sell it yourself and put the money where YOU want it to go!

There was a sign in a Travel Agency on the desk near me that said: "If you don't fly first class, ..... Don't worry, your heirs will!  Makes extremely good sense!

[Drache]

Family heirloom. I certainly won't sell it!

[RECHRGD]

Family heirloom. I certainly won't sell it!

I bet your kids will.......

[JB400]

Your kids will keep what they consider is special to them.

[Drache]

Family heirloom. I certainly won't sell it!

I bet your kids will.......

With this, no. It belonged to a family member during the civil war and has been in the family ever since. This is a true heirloom. Not something great grandma purchased at a garage sale. 

[RECHRGD]

Hmmmm, I bet that's worth a lot of money..

[Drache]

Hmmmm, I bet that's worth a lot of money..

About $1500-$2000

[dyslexic teddybear]

Somehow, I seem to have given my kids a sense of history.

I have 4........and the above, does not describe any of them. They have always had an interest in the family history. Lost the house to fire in 08......not much in the way of heirlooms left......likely they will keep them.

But describes the "other" side of the family perfectly. My grandparents only had two sons, and my father wasn't the favored one. So 95% went to them. It's all been sold. My uncle recently passed......and yep, there's a for sale sign in front of the house.

[RECHRGD]

There was a sign in a Travel Agency on the desk near me that said: "If you don't fly first class, ..... Don't worry, your heirs will!  Makes extremely good sense!

You're right, of course.  With all the damage done to families fighting over inheritances it makes me want to think twice about preserving any accumulated wealth.  We live well below our capabilities in order to do just that.  Maybe I should start booking some cruises..........

[charge69]

Both of my children are wayyyy better off financially than I am and truly do not "Need" any money they might make selling off my accumulations when I pass!  My current wife and I have no children but we have been married over 37 years. My main reason for accumulating anything worth something is to see that my current wife will be taken care of when I pass, most likely, well before she does! My children and her are very close and truly love each other but ....... when push comes to shove ..... she is NOT their Mother and do not live near us, have families of their own and I just will not depend on them to take care of her when she cannot take care of herself anymore! Actually, I hope that day never comes!

So ............... I hope life and God gives me enough warning of my pending demise that I can dispose of most of my valuables other than those she and/or my children and grandchildren would like to remember me by. My will and inheritances will be geared toward my wife getting the lion's share of my estate and I think my heirs will understand.

That said,  it might be a surprise to find out some things you think are worth something, aren't really worth that much!  I hope my heirs want a few of my pictures of my past. I know they will not see them in the same light as I do but, .......................................................................

I hope Hemi Chargers are STILL worth something when I have to sell it. None of my grandchildren have shown any real interest and neither has my children. I am afraid it would end up on the auction block very quickly if I did leave one of them the Charger!  My wife let me spend the money to restore it so, ........... she should get the money back when it sells!

And To RECHRGD:  People will fight over $20.00 in an estate even though it literally means nothing to them but winning!  That just ain't going to happen here if I can help it!

[RECHRGD]

Yea, I know that people will fight over any amount.  But what is starting to concern me, is that I see a lack of ambition in my kids.  Don't get me wrong, they are great people, but just not too interested in making enough money to put anything away for the future.  I think they have "expectations" of being SET when we pass and that reflects on our upbringing of them, I guess.  I need to do some serious thinking about this......

[charge69]

To put it bluntly,  waiting for you and your wife to die so they will be SET for the future is NOT a good thing for them or you!  Some serious thinking about the situation is definitely in order!

[RECHRGD]

To put it bluntly,  waiting for you and your wife to die so they will be SET for the future is NOT a good thing for them or you!  Some serious thinking about the situation is definitely in order!

I totally agree.  We/I have allowed this to get away from the original topic of heirlooms.  We've got tons that are worth a considerable amount. 

[charge69]

Agreed about the drift off-topic!   I have heirlooms that are worth well into the six figures, not counting my Charger so, maybe, a couple of valuable heirlooms will go to my Grandchildren in hopes that they keep them and the rest ............. sold off my me if I am lucky enough to have a little heads-up about my demise!

[oldgold69]

I m finding all this out right now my dad passed in march   and all I see is people standing there with their hand out   all i hear is thats all       he did leave his model t to my son who he taught to drive it  so he ll always have that memory of his grandpa

[charge69]

oldgold69: it is such a shame but, your experience is all-too-typical of relatives !    Sorry for your loss !!

[myk]

"All we are is dust in the wind....."

[Bandit72]

I think that most of this stems from us living in such a "throw-away" society.  Kids today aren't used to having to put there blood sweat and tears into something just to purchase it, then taking damn good care of it so they don't have to buy another one. Today if one of there precious computers breaks it ain't no biggie cause you can run to any store in any town and pick up a BRAND NEW one. I have a number of items of my grandfathers that I will never part with...not saying my kids won't but to them they don't hold the memories that they hold for me.

[XH29N0G]

If there is only one who cares about it, it is worth saving.  I think some people don't express that they care and this is taken as evidence they don't.  Someone penciled names and dates on the backs of old photos and they are something I look at every so often when I visit my parents.  I like seeing the people who came before and also the possessions mean something. 

[Cooter]

This is why I'm goin out just like I come in.....Naked and broke. F'em

[Grim Jhaixus]

This is why I'm goin out just like I come in.....Naked and broke. F'em

I'm not an old man feeling the generations pushing me into my grave, in fact I see your concerns from the other end. The first thing I want some one here to do is look up Gustave Flaubert, and explain how the term "kids today" or any related argument has merit if it's the same argue Gustave made in the 1830's. What I am is just old enough I'm starting to doubt my memories, I understand nostalgia changes a red house to a blue apartment. Fact is there's no such thing as "back in my day", no matter how much Bill Cosby insists on it. My kids won't know all-metal Tonka trucks, home movies, the noise an old tube TV makes as it's warming up, or what a cassette was. There's a list like this of crap you guys had that I didn't, and there will be a list my kids will have and they will complain about how "back in their day" it was "better" and everything is so "throw-away society" now. Abe Lincoln might've beaten another kid to death over a modern No. 2 pencil, people used to hang each other over a horse, at a time just a few thousand years ago we'd've clubbed each others brains out over a porkchop. The computer in the iPhone sitting next to this keyboard is more powerful than the strongest supercomputer on earth from just a decade ago, and I'll throw it away right around the 19th of this month. Think of styles if you need an analogy. In the 50's a hot rod was a 30's model, in the 70's hot rods were 50's models, I've heard a few times our Chargers weren't worth the dirt they sat on throughout the 80's. This pattern is everywhere. Women's dresses, watch styles, recently its been observed in cell phones. My kids won't know what a button was, it's all touchscreens now.

Now that the nostalgia is out of the way, my point is the crap that's important to you is exactly that: crap that's important to you. My car will never get six figures at an auction, unless the body metal were all replaced with gold, but it will cost me something like that by the time I die. It's next owner probably will not drive it much, might put ethanol gas in it, might not use the zinc additives when they change the oil. I won't let it bother me. The car is only important as long as I give it importance, otherwise it's just a heap of rusty metal. Will my kids put that kind of importance on it? Of course not. I don't believe in heirlooms. Something can only be around until it's destroyed. I don't know how much better my childhood might've been if my mother didn't drag around all this utter crap she had, storage units she hadn't been in for decades, a cabinet full of old photos that wasn't looked at my whole life before a leak ruined all 200lbs of it, antique china she both wouldn't sell and wouldn't use before it was destroyed by a cat, furniture that was too big to fit where ever we lived, vanities, heavy bookshelves, a stamp collection, all of it just crap, all of it of some kind of extreme sentimental value or in direct relation to a grandparent or great grandparent, every bit of it destroyed. Most of it didn't see the light of day for decades beforehand. So what is the point of an heirloom if the at-best inevitability is it ends up in the care of a well-meaning but ill-suited normal everyday person?

One day I will sell my car. It won't go to my kids or their kids. I won't sell it to an old man either, or to a guy that has too many responsibilities. I'll find a young man, maybe even a guy still in high school, cuz there are enough of these cars in rusting in storage or collecting dust in showrooms or rotting away in a backyard somewhere. I want the next owner to drive it. I just have to do it before someone can take Power of Attorney from me, cuz I've seen that too, watched a will get circumvented completely, so don't think your final wishes are some kind of holy order.

How do I recover from being so goddamn dark? Man why does it always turn into an essay?

Here we go. Instead of trying to explain the objectivist perception of how it's your ear that gives the world it's song and beauty in the eye of the blah blah blah I'll share what GOD shared with me, your personal beliefs won't interfere one way or the other because it's universal advice and has unlimited application: "...when you are gone you won't mind, just as you didn't mind before you were born."

I feel good about that. If I lost anyone my message was "Do what you want and just trust that the planet will still be here tomorrow."

[Grim Jhaixus]

Oh wow, I usually type those out and then delete them.

Well, I guess you can have it.