Jealous "Car Professors" who try to rain on your parade

[Crazy Larry]

Most of the time when I drive the Charger, I usually get the thumbs up from folks, the honking of the horns, and the waves of approval from others. But, every so often, I run into a "Car Proffessor" or in other words, a jealous socially-handicapped fool who wants to prove to me that he knows more about cars than I. Now, I am nowhere near a professional mechanic, but I have worked on my own cars enough to know my way around the mechanical field. Either way, I HATE  the encounters with these jacka$$es.

The one that sticks in my mind happened last summer, when I took the Charger across the street to the gas station. As I pumped the gas, some good ol' boy and his two friends were trying to make a phone call from the pay phone across the way. So this guy, who looked like one of the militant inbreds in "Deliverance" shouts over to me, "Hey, Nice Charger" I waved and thanked him for the compliment. He then started shouting, "what's it got in it, 350, 383, 440" (I wanted to let him know the 350 was a Chevy engine but I was being nice) he started rattling off gear ratios and all sorts of stats, trying to show off to his friends about all the info he knew. I cursed at the gas pump for not pumping faster, I just wanted to get out of there.

Then he said, "It's got a lot of glass on it though, huh?"

I hesitated until his comment computed in my mind - "Is he trying to say that the car is full of fiberglass body parts". I snapped back, and said "are you crazy? It's all metal!"

What ensued is, this guy shuffles over to my Charger and starts pointing to lines on the fenders and proclaiming that I was lying and there was very little metal on the body. Of course all the lines that he pointed to where lines that belong on the Charger (the car-length body line, the coke bottle shape of the rear fenders). He even pointed to the passanger side fender, that I drove up and purchased myself from a yard in Canada (I held the all original metal fender in my hands for Pete's sake!). I opened the hood and even showed him where the metal seams and bolts were. Still, this guy would not listen because he was a "body and paint man and he had 30 years experience" Then he claimed that I was a scam artist and if he had a magnet he would show me that there was no metal on the body.

His friends laughed, as I said," well, where is your car if you are such a professional?" He was taking the city bus.
I drove away and went and found a magnet and placed it in the ash try of the Charger - I pray I see him again someday. But then again, it is idiots like that who would just love to key your car in a parking lot. So, maybe it is best to just let him ride the bus and think he is right.


Anyone else have any run-ins with these "Car Proffessors"?

[Silver R/T]

dont let numbnuts like that ruin your day. He probably lives with mom in apts and rides tricycle to food bank

[Old Moparz]

It does happen a lot, but I just nod my head in agreement & act polite. It isn't worth arguing with this crowd for obvious reasons.

So does your car really have a 350?  

[Silver R/T]

Had a guy pull up in new Yorker and tell me that he had "one back in the days" "with 428 six pack lmao

[GTX]

I usually get the guy who claims to have had a '69 Charger convert in high school only theirs had the 440 hemi. The last guy who told me that said he was sure of his facts because he was an ASE mechanic at Pep Boys. I asked if it weren't more of an ASS mechanic, he wasn't happy. (Why do those guys think that an ASE makes them all knowing?)

Just smile and consider the fool who argues with fools.

[hemihead]

Sorry but Mopar did make a 350.And don't bad mouth someone that is ASE Cerified unless you can pass the test.Yes some people are morons but just look at some of the questions asked here.

[GTX]

To be clear, I don't intend to bad mouth anyone but the morons and certainly not the people who still care enough to get in and get dirty on cars- any car, I have utmost respect. As for passing the test, I'm sure that I could pass it with some additional work on current issues. If I can get a degree in mechanical/aerospace engineering then I hope I can pass the ASE. Still, I tip my hat to the non morons.

[Darkness]

Wasn't the Mopar 350 a big block? I know they made one back in the mid to late 50s I believe.

[Telvis]

You are just too nice. I would have just ignored him. I would never have gotten into a pissing match with him. I don't have time for morons.

[Chryco Psycho]

the Mopar 350 was a big block B engine

[Crazy Larry]

Sorry but Mopar did make a 350.And don't bad mouth someone that is ASE Cerified unless you can pass the test.Yes some people are morons but just look at some of the questions asked here.

I don't think I have ever seen a Charger or any other Mopar muscle with a 350 - www.allpar.com says it was around in 1958. I don't even think the '68 Charger was ever offered with a 350 - so it still is a BS question. 

[hemihead]

I guess that depends on your knowledge of Mopars and your definition of Mopar Muscle.I personally never cared what anyone thought of my Mopars ,negative or positive.I was Mopar when everyone wanted Camaros and Trans Ams.

[69_500]

There is always one in every crowd. I get people asking me at local shows when I'm going to fix my C500 back up and take off that stupid grille and rear window plug, and put it back the way it should be.

[HAZZARDJOHN]

I drove the Impala Up to the local Checker parts store. My impala is about 90% original paint. I had the front header panel repainted from some rock chips, but other than that it is original. No body work at all.

I walked in and this guy wearing all harley Davidson leather comes up to me and says through his tooth, "WOAH! NICE CAR! '66 RIGHT? THAT HAS A 327 TOO." (I used the caps to demonstrate how loud he was ) I said, "Thanks sir, but no it's a 396." He responded with, "WELL THEN IT ISN'T A FACTORY MOTOR."  I just nodded my head hoping he would go away, I said, "Could be. (Thinkin to myself: odd though how the numbers match on the block to the car)" Then I went and picked out what I came there for and when I got to the Check out counter, there he was again. He turned around and said, "WHAT WAS THE ORIGINAL COLOR?" I said "that color" He looked at me with the biggest smirk, and said "THAT AIN'T THE ORIGINAL COLOR, THAT AIN'T EVEN A CHEVY COLOR"  I said back to him as politely as I could, "well I hav a paint chart at home and it is sunfire yellow" He shook his head and said "NOPE."  Then proceeded to walk out the door. I assumed he left, but about a minute later I saw him come in with a huge I am the smartest man alive smirk , and tell me to come here. Against my better judgement me and my friend went outside to see why he was so excited. He said,"IT WAS GREEN FROM THE FACTORY!" and pointed at a tiny green mark on the front header panel, which was painted a year before this. Thank god he then walked away and I proceeded to scrape of the wax residue that I must have missed the last time I waxed it.  I couldn't help it, Me and my friend bursted out laughing!

The other one, was when I first got the Impala I took it to a cruise in in North St. Paul, and my buddy mike who is a car guy, comes up to tell me all about my car that I missed. He looked at it for 5 minutes and says the interior isn't original, and the quarter's have been replaced. I looked at him and said, "Are you nuts!" He opened the door and said "See! No spot welds" I proceeded to pull back the weather stripping and reveal the factory spot welds. He still to this day says that they have been replaced. which is funny cause I am the third owner and I have talked to the first and second owner and this car has never seen snow in it's life and they never replaced the quarters.  The seats were so dried out that they are cracking and he was trying to tell me they had been replaced. I said if that has happened it happen 30 years ago, because of the current condition of the vinyl.

People! What are you going to do.

~HJ

[Telvis]

Maybe it's me. If someone like that came up to me at a gas station, grocery or auto parts store I would just humor them and tell them to stay away from my car. I don't give a crap what someone thinks about my car...especially right now since it is in pieces. If some idiot want to think it's a bondo buggy then let him think it. I don't want to waste the time or energy trying to prove something to someone I don't even like. I guess it's just the a**hole in me.

[dd44068]

I cant recall any story like that but i did listen to a guy who said that i believe it was 15 years ago he had a 70RR and because it got hit in the quarters that he had to sell it because it was painted a fantail orange and that in order to repait it that coler it would cost more then what the car was worth. I just listened and said ok.

[41husk]

Never argue with an idiot, someone might not know wich one is wich

[GTX]

I was Mopar when everyone wanted Camaros and Trans Ams.

Very true, those of us who were into Mopars when Mopar took a lot of heat had to be thick skinned.
Nowadays with the poplularity of old muscle in general and the new popularity of classic Mopars it's much easier but back in the day it was not like it is now. In about every top ten list I've seen, Mopars lead in numbers.
I took a heck of a lot of crap for my brand choice for years but those who like Mopars all tend to be the same personality type, they do their own thing regardless of the crowd.
It's just not worth getting torqued over a moron. The ones who seem to get me though are the know it alls in the Mopar crowd who just can't seem to let others enjoy their Mopars. One local person here who was/is involved with the local Mopar show and is apparently associated with Mopars at the Strip told my buddies and I back in the 80's that it would be best if we didn't bring our cars to the show since we were all running blowers and tunnel rams and our cars were not pristine resto's.
He only wanted museum quality pieces then and would trash talk your car if it was anything less but now things have changed and they want all Mopars. We don't participate with his shows to this day because of his attitudes.
I still don't think he has what I would call a decent Mopar but I don't say anything to him even after knowing him for nearly 30 years.

Any Mopar is cool with me, a beater or a full on resto. Factory colors or aftermarket, I don't care and that's the way it should be.

[tan top]

Never argue with an idiot, someone might not know wich one is wich

[Blown70]

I do always give a certain respect to anyone.  However, I love when at a car show.  Someone always at least one person "had one JUST like it,  But mine was a 4 door".  Hmmm really  a 69 Charger,  wow,  I would like to see that?  Of course I would never say that.  Just thank them and let them go on.

Tom

[kab69440]

I personally get a perverse amount of pleasure from those that try to point out every last incorrectness on my car. It is funny to listen to them trying to come up with the entire laundry list. Very seldom is the 68 grille in my 69 on their list of incorrect parts. The people who "know" my car is "one of those NASCAR specials" because of the backlight job are particularly amusing. It doesn't look anything like a true 500/ Daytona job. Some folks... what are you gonna do?

[RD]

Makes ya wanna put up a "FYI for know it all's" sign right next to your car's specifications sign stating:

1. THERE NEVER WAS NOR WILL BE A DAMN 440 HEMI SIXPACK FROM THE FACTORY

2. NO, THIS IS NOT EXACTLY LIKE YOUR CAR YOU USED TO OWN AND LOST YOUR VIRGINITY IN

3. YES, IT DOES HAVE THE CORRECT PAINT, NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY THINK.  I HAVE THE FENDERTAG INFO, YOU DON'T.

4. ITS A CHARGER, NOT A DAMN CHALLENGER.  I DONT SAY YOUR MULLET IS A FLATTOP DO I?

5. ITS NOT A CAMARO, I DONT DRIVE SH**, THOUGH YOU MAY WANNA UPGRADE TO THAT STATUS OF CAR IN THE FUTURE CPT. YUGO

6. NO, ITS NOT A HEMI (OR PUT IN "YES, IT IS A HEMI" DEPENDING ON YOUR APPLICATION)

7. ITS CALLED RAMCHARGER HOOD, NOT COWL INDUCTION, BOWTIE FREAK.  AND YES, ITS FACING THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

8. MOPARS DID NOT COME WITH A POSI-UNIT, THEY CAME WITH A SURE-GRIP

9. ITS CALLED A SIX PACK, NOT A TRI-POWER MR. GHEY CHEVROLET

10. I AM SORRY, BUT WHERE IS YOUR MOPAR AGAIN? OH YOU DON'T HAVE ONE?  AM I MISSING SOMETHING?

11. YOU MEAN MY TORQ THRUST II'S DIDN'T COME ORIGINAL WITH MY CAR?  WOW, GOOD THING YOU STOPPED BY.  WHERE WERE YOU 6 MONTHS AGO WHEN I SPENT 800 DOLLARS ON THEM?  YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME SOME MONEY BY LETTING ME KEEP MY ORIGINAL RALLYE RIMS ON THERE!

12. WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT MY "CLONE" IS BEING REPRESENTED AS AN ORIGINAL?  ITS A CLONE, NOT A RE-CREATION MR. BARRET-JACKSON COUCH POTATO!

please add to the list, I had fun making it.

[PocketThunder]

I was walking into the doctors office and as i passed the mechanic shop next to it i saw a 69 Charger up on the lift.  I put the brakes on and went into the garage office and asked if i could look it over.  They let me look at it and the mechanic working on it said "ya, i think someone converted this over from a Coronet"     I politely told him thats not likely.  then went onto my doctor visit....  They did give the owner my name and number so that i could invite him to our local charger picnic....

[greenpigs]

Sorry but Mopar did make a 350.And don't bad mouth someone that is ASE Cerified unless you can pass the test.Yes some people are morons but just look at some of the questions asked here.

Like Larry said they never put a 350 in a Charger and I doubt that assclown was aware Mopar even made one.
  That guy may have been ASE certified but he didn't know much about older Mopars which was the point I thought.

[moparguy01]

im gonna cut a peice of sheetsteel and in the same size and shape of a fender tag, stamp F--K OFF on it and bolt it in place. or maybe put 1 word on each tag and make it a 2 tag car!