I have a question...off topic....a real one!

[ACUDANUT]

Ram... Come here..http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,96647.0.html

[RallyeMike]

Some people have the willpower to get control themselves. Some don't. Since you are asking public opinion, I think you are in the later category. So you can consider that a challenge, or try AA a time or two and see if it helps. It has worked for some people I know, and from the people I have talked to, AA is very inviting and supportive of a newbie. If it's not for you, you can always leave without obligation.

You are the best 17-beer speller/typist I have ever seen. You at least have that going for you. Good luck.

[djcarguy]

  howdy Ram hope ya got some sleep an feel little better?? its coming up on 13 years sence i was put out of work. did the drinking an self med for yrs.,   


   most of the time i cant have any boose in house,,totally bad when iam on my meds..  Think if ya reread thread later today ya may see lots of concern an guys trying to reach out to you ,,may not been best timing with the beer in ya for it..

please take care for yourself an ya girl. may not seem like it always but our kids still need us around an know they can come ta us when it hits the fan in thier young lives..


         take care an just keep working on a better life an year for yaself an love ones.  feel free to PM iam here alot ,not posting alot latly..holdon an take care.    mopar an human fellow traveler,lattter DJ

    got pixs of family an gran kid an wing  an mopar models an toys right around me here at keyboard. kid moved so me an empty house last week an half. measured his room to see which car may fit if i knock out a wall.. 3 bedroom mancave an parts storage,, i guess...?

[Dino]

Find professional help, not car guy help.

[4cruzin]

So I really don't know much about you but I have been there . . . . I call it bored with life.  Drinking can be fun and a way to entertain yourself when alone . . . . and when out in the world.  I like beer as well . . . but I found that I needed to have some kind of project to keep me busy.  I have many hobbies . . . cars, boats, guitars, bowling, pool league, my dog, house and other things.  I spend alot of time by myself . . . . I live between Detroit and Lansing and my wife works in Chicago so she is gone 4 days out of the week and sometimes more.  When home I hardly see her then!  I have no kids and the same age as you are.  Lately I have been painting at my mothers house to stay busy.  I have been selling mopar parts, cleaning the garage, working on the car and keep adding to my list of things to do!  One thing I don't ususally do is sit on my ass . . . have to stay busy. 

As for beer . . . I'm into fresh beer . . . typically IPA or something strong. Microbrews is pretty much all I will drink.  Try to limit myself as I don't like to wake up feeling like sh!t. 

[General_01]

I have to agree here.

Keep in mind that this is a family forum yeah?

Don't know if this is directed at me, but...what's your point...a guy asking for advice seems okay to me...




And, started painting the house today, to keep busy!

[twodko]

I meant no offense or condescension Ram. I just think it's better to limit some heavy off color words here that's all.

The earlier comment about being the best 17 beer speller/typist was way funny. True too. 

I'm not perfect and have had my battles too. Mine was with weed taken up when I was in the military 79-76.
I'm not proud of that but I served honorably and did my job.

I was confident and sure smoking weed was recreational.......no different than booze. I was wrong. I did enjoy a full and enjoyable career retiring in 2004 but it was still a plague. Living the nightmare and also having the honor and privilege of being my sweet wife's caregiver brought me around. It wasn't easy but I'm clean now. I lost her last February and have found myself hitting wine pretty hard. I'm getting out and doing stuff making a new life but it's so hard. I can appreciate where you at. Being alone even when one is with friends is awful.
I was only reaching out to you not preaching. Life sucks for me these days so I know all about tiny steps taking each day as it comes.

[firefighter3931]

Ram07

This time of year can be brutal, especially with the crap weather. My recommendation is to go to a physician who specializes in affective disorders. You could very well be suffering from SADS (seasonal affective disorder syndrome) and that can be helped with meds and phototherapy. It's not uncommon to see people self medicate with alcohol/drugs when they are in a depressive state. The last thing you need is to compound the current issue with a substance abuse problem 

Yes, you have a drinking problem but it is a by product of the primary illness.  Fix/address the first one and the second will take care of itself. 

FWIW, i've worked in the mental health field for many years (as well as being a career Firefighter) and spent 5 years exclusively on an affective disorders unit. I've seen what you're going through many times and it can be treated. Take that first step and see what happens. Good luck....i know you can overcome this 



Ron

[cdr]

FEB 17 WILL be 9 years sober for me,IF YOU DONT WANT AA, just keep drinkin you'll figure it out.

[BrianShaughnessy]

 I don't really know many people that can even type after 17 beers.     

My ex could guzzle a liter of vodka and chase it with beers over the course of a night but there was no doubt she was a full blown alchy.   And truthfully I don't know if she's even still alive 

  My guess is you're trying to reach out but you're really afraid of having to give up the sauce... that's too bad.   Good luck.

  I have 2 friends right now that are in line for 3rd time felony dwi's and either facing jail or at least losing their drivers' licenses for LIFE.   They don't want to give up the sauce either.   

  Again... good luck.

[ACUDANUT]

Ram07

This time of year can be brutal, especially with the crap weather. My recommendation is to go to a physician who specializes in affective disorders. You could very well be suffering from SADS (seasonal affective disorder syndrome) and that can be helped with meds and phototherapy. It's not uncommon to see people self medicate with alcohol/drugs when they are in a depressive state. The last thing you need is to compound the current issue with a substance abuse problem 

Yes, you have a drinking problem but it is a by product of the primary illness.  Fix/address the first one and the second will take care of itself. 

FWIW, i've worked in the mental health field for many years (as well as being a career Firefighter) and spent 5 years exclusively on an affective disorders unit. I've seen what you're going through many times and it can be treated. Take that first step and see what happens. Good luck....i know you can overcome this 



Ron

Very well said. I hope your okay.

[Ram07]

Thanks for the replies, It helps...made a few calls that night, went for an evaluation yesterday to see what the right path for me to follow is.

Sometimes you just need to hear things from a strangers point of view, that's why I posted it here.

I'll answer a couple of things that were mentioned.. AA (here at least) was based on way to much religion..not for me.

Underlying problem is a nasty inner ear/loss of balance/loss of hearing thing, that caused a job loss (work part time now, much different kind of job), and all previous hobbies I used to have, can no longer do. Have one ear that they say is nerve damaged, that can be fixed, but it's expensive, and not covered for me...just took a huge chunk of change from my retirement fund to address that.

Downtime is the worst, yes, going out is a problem because of the ear thing.

Oh, and took out all the bad words, sorry about that....was drinking...  

Finally, the typing thing...well...just say I type really slow when I've had a few, and spell check is your friend..

[moparsr2fast]

  I had a close friend drink his self to death in his mid 30s. He went thru rehab but just couldn't shake it. Sometimes, we need something stronger then ourselves. I'm sorry " religion " is not for you, because an ernest relationship with Christ could be what you need Russell. I would take firefighters advice, and look into the cause of your situation, and maybe read a bit of God's word on your own on occassion. 

[cdr]

hey RAM if you ever want to talk send me a pm.

[Ram07]

 I had a close friend drink his self to death in his mid 30s. He went thru rehab but just couldn't shake it. Sometimes, we need something stronger then ourselves. I'm sorry " religion " is not for you, because an ernest relationship with Christ could be what you need Russell. I would take firefighters advice, and look into the cause of your situation, and maybe read a bit of God's word on your own on occassion.  

I already took his advice... Off to see a Therapist this afternoon....saw him years ago, he helped out a lot.

I had one friend drop dead because of drinking...true story, they won 100k, back in the early 80's, cashed it in..went on a wild drunk...dead in his car the next morning..., watched another close friend lose everything he had...he's homeless now, too bad, very smart guy as well.

One thing I learned from one of my sisters today, through an email of course...Was, back in the day, before I was born, up until I was 6-7, my Father was an Alcoholic, and a nasty one at that! Who knew, I'm 50 now, he's been dead for 26 years...I never saw him ever have a drink...

[polywideblock]

glad to see you taking the first steps     chin up and keep walking  

              have seen a lot of mates over the years go from being "all f*cked up" on drugs/booze  to being "all f*cked up " on god when they went to AA or rehab   seems religious groups prey on the venerable to  me, saying their helping. and I'm not a practicing one but am R.C .    

              what happened to your hearing ?  was it recent ? I lost 70% hearing in my left ear and developed a "lean" to the left        years ago. you learn to compensate     I also ware  out my left shoe way faster that the right and can't ride a bike anymore  but I don't "go round in circles " or anything  when walking

you can overcome anything with the right attitude and some help

[Ram07]

I don't really know many people that can even type after 17 beers.     

My ex could guzzle a liter of vodka and chase it with beers over the course of a night but there was no doubt she was a full blown alchy.   And truthfully I don't know if she's even still alive 

  My guess is you're trying to reach out but you're really afraid of having to give up the sauce... that's too bad.   Good luck.

  I have 2 friends right now that are in line for 3rd time felony dwi's and either facing jail or at least losing their drivers' licenses for LIFE.   They don't want to give up the sauce either.   

  Again... good luck

Wanted to reply to this one...I'll give up anything to get fixed...

At times, money is tight, especially with a "thing" going on...So...do my thing, ya know, pay bills, get the daughter through school, save some, perhaps...

But, one must think when a silly purchase was done, that was not really needed...

I bought a truck...really had no reason to own one right now...so...after a couple of months...it's gone...I tossed it, happy to say, never lost a dime on it...

[djcarguy]

    hay sent ya a PM  . sounds like a better day an some plans for a better year already,good to hear.take care DJ

[ACUDANUT]

 No 07 Ram huh. What do you drive then ?

[A383Wing]

You need help Ram....and you are the only one that can do it if you want....if AA and other "help" options are not for you, then you obviously don't see the real problem here.

I think yer issues are deeper rooted than you might think....maybe seek out a psychologist and see what they say

maybe I read too much between the lines, but maybe that's the real answer

[ws23rt]

I don't really know many people that can even type after 17 beers.    

My ex could guzzle a liter of vodka and chase it with beers over the course of a night but there was no doubt she was a full blown alchy.   And truthfully I don't know if she's even still alive  

 My guess is you're trying to reach out but you're really afraid of having to give up the sauce... that's too bad.   Good luck.

 I have 2 friends right now that are in line for 3rd time felony dwi's and either facing jail or at least losing their drivers' licenses for LIFE.   They don't want to give up the sauce either.  

 Again... good luck

Wanted to reply to this one...I'll give up anything to get fixed...

At times, money is tight, especially with a "thing" going on...So...do my thing, ya know, pay bills, get the daughter through school, save some, perhaps...

But, one must think when a silly purchase was done, that was not really needed...

I bought a truck...really had no reason to own one right now...so...after a couple of months...it's gone...I tossed it, happy to say, never lost a dime on it...

Hey Ramo7   From this  post and a couple of others it seems that you know the answers to the questions you ask of us.  

To me you are just asking for a hug and you will do what you will do anyway.  You clearly have a depression issue that comes and goes (we all do) and you have a drinking problem that you use to help deal with that depression.

I have said before that some folks need to see the bottom before they change their path. Most will say---not me--- and those that have been at the bottom and lived to tell about it will agree with this.  You do not know that you are not one of those.

The best advice I have is to assume you are one of those but stop the train before it wrecks your life further and those that love you.  That is your task and no one can do it for you.  Your survivors will wonder what they could have done and feel guilt and pain because they did not do more. (they can do no more than ask you to stop your train wreck).

BTW this is something that is a long term project and a reminder is that we only have one try at the long term

[Mike DC]

 


It probably took a variety of life circumstances being wrong to get you where you are.  Diet, exercise, mental outlook on the world, amount of structure in your daily life, etc.    

So it's probably going to take a variety of changes to really fix things.  



Some of those negative factors probably don't seem really bad on their own, but the effect is cumulative.  
Likewise, some of the positive steps you need to take probably won't seem very worthwhile on their own, but . .



Also - Have you ever met anyone who walks a couple miles per day (recreationally), and is still really depressed?  It sounds like a boring answer to life's problems but it helps a lot.

 

[ws23rt]

It probably took a variety of life circumstances being wrong to get you where you are.  Diet, exercise, mental outlook on the world, amount of structure in your daily life, etc.    

So it's probably going to take a variety of changes to really fix things.  



Some of those negative factors probably don't seem really bad on their own, but the effect is cumulative.  
Likewise, some of the positive steps you need to take probably won't seem very worthwhile on their own, but . .



Also - Have you ever met anyone who walks a couple miles per day (recreationally), and is still really depressed?  It sounds like a boring answer to life's problems but it helps a lot.

 

Great advice---alone quiet time with exercise---  And a dedicated routine

[firefighter3931]

Off to see a Therapist this afternoon....saw him years ago, he helped out a lot.

Excellent news 


Ron

[twodko]