I have a question...off topic....a real one!

[Ram07]

Not gonna say my life story...was not so bad until a few years ago!

Thinking I did just fine as far as responsibility goes, still doing it...little girl is in university, and being well taken care of...

Now, it's just me...I think perhaps...things are not going so well for me....beer. perhaps...well yeah...beer!

So. if anyone has a suggestion, besides AA...I'm all ears....I don't drink daily...or have withdraw, and continue to work...just part time, but do it well...no problems there...

But, I'm kinda f**ked...sorry...I think....lots of days off, and those days...are not cool...I'm on my 17th right now...so yeah...

Did called for some little counseling...seems odd....I'm one that does it....sooo..

Yeah, real guys, unknown to me, how do you give yourself a kick in the ass, and snap otta shit?


Suggestions...?

[tsmithae]

I'll admit that I've been having a tough time with things lately due to an injury, not working, no running (my stress relief). and a whole lot of other things... Anyways, what seems to help me is reaching out to friends and trying to reestablish a feeling of being rooted and friendship.  I kinda locked myself away from people and drank and eventually I started reaching out to friends and realizing they were worried about me.  That got the ball rolling and I started watching some of the TED talks, started working on my car when possible, started dating again, and things are definitely looking up.  I wound up taking a break from the alcohol (even just a short one to get my head right, I drink occasionally now) as it is a depressant and can really compound the issues. 

I really hope some of this helps and if you want, you are more than welcome to reach out and PM me. 

[Ram07]

.

[dkn1997]

Not gonna say my life story...was not so bad until a few years ago!

Thinking I did just fine as far as responsibility goes, still doing it...little girl is in university, and being well taken care of...

Now, it's just me...I think perhaps...things are not going so well for me....beer. perhaps...well yeah...beer!

So. if anyone has a suggestion, besides AA...I'm all ears....I don't drink daily...or have withdraw, and continue to work...just part time, but do it well...no problems there...

But, I'm kinda fucked...sorry...I think....lots of days off, and those days...are not cool...I'm on my 17th right now...so yeah...

Did called for some little counseling...seems odd....I'm one that does it....sooo..

Yeah, real guys, unknown to me, how do you give yourself a kick in the ass, and snap otta shit?


Suggestions...?

Hi.  Id suggest getting a ride to an AA meeting.  NOW.  You are in a mess right now and that doesnt make you bad. You admitted you have a problem and thats great.  Now get some help.  Its not ok to keep doing this.  I dont want to sound harsh but you are a drunk.  Not all drunks lose the job or get bombed every day and live on the street.  Go to a few meetings....go sober and listen. 

[XH29N0G]

Not gonna say my life story...was not so bad until a few years ago!

Thinking I did just fine as far as responsibility goes, still doing it...little girl is in university, and being well taken care of...

Now, it's just me...I think perhaps...things are not going so well for me....beer. perhaps...well yeah...beer!

So. if anyone has a suggestion, besides AA...I'm all ears....I don't drink daily...or have withdraw, and continue to work...just part time, but do it well...no problems there...

But, I'm kinda fucked...sorry...I think....lots of days off, and those days...are not cool...I'm on my 17th right now...so yeah...

Did called for some little counseling...seems odd....I'm one that does it....sooo..

Yeah, real guys, unknown to me, how do you give yourself a kick in the ass, and snap otta shit?


Suggestions...?

Hi.  Id suggest getting a ride to an AA meeting.  NOW.  You are in a mess right now and that doesnt make you bad. You admitted you have a problem and thats great.  Now get some help.  Its not ok to keep doing this. 

I agree.

[Ram07]

Not gonna say my life story...was not so bad until a few years ago!

Thinking I did just fine as far as responsibility goes, still doing it...little girl is in university, and being well taken care of...

Now, it's just me...I think perhaps...things are not going so well for me....beer. perhaps...well yeah...beer!

So. if anyone has a suggestion, besides AA...I'm all ears....I don't drink daily...or have withdraw, and continue to work...just part time, but do it well...no problems there...

But, I'm kinda fucked...sorry...I think....lots of days off, and those days...are not cool...I'm on my 17th right now...so yeah...

Did called for some little counseling...seems odd....I'm one that does it....sooo..

Yeah, real guys, unknown to me, how do you give yourself a kick in the ass, and snap otta shit?


Suggestions...?

Hi.  Id suggest getting a ride to an AA meeting.  NOW.  You are in a mess right now and that doesnt make you bad. You admitted you have a problem and thats great.  Now get some help.  Its not ok to keep doing this.  I dont want to sound harsh but you are a drunk.  Not all drunks lose the job or get bombed every day and live on the street.  Go to a few meetings....go sober and listen.  

Thanks for that tid bit...I know what I am...been to AA in the past...not for me...

Not a full blown drunk yet...so don't insult me when asking for advice...I just see a pattern happening, that I don't
want to follow...


ask for advice, be accused of being a drunk right away....

[twodko]

I loathe cliches but "you've already taken the first step". You have a chronic drinking issue and have owned up to it. Continue to pursue counseling because it will help you identify why you're hurting yourself. Another tool for your roll-around is church. You don't have to be a bible thumper to benefit from going to church.

You've got to get out of the house too. Go to a movie even if its by yourself. Get physically active, you don't have to be a gym rat
to get some exercise. Step outside your door and go for a walk.........often. Little things........little steps........you'll be back to the guy you like in no time.

Go to some AA meetings. Its not embarrassing, you have not failed at anything, you're not a bad person you just need a hand. The hand that you need is at the end of your arm. Use it to look up the nearest AA meeting. Your daughter and all the people that love you need you healthy, steady and good to go. Don't tell yourself "you'll try" thats the same as saying "I'll fail". Man up bro, make it happen. My final bit of advice is.......go to some AA meetings. Though you feel its "not for you" go anyway

[twodko]

"Not a full blown drunk yet...so don't insult me when asking for advice"

You ask us for advice and we're offering our hearts to you. The full on defensiveness in your sentence above tells the story.

[Ram07]

Again, thanks for advice....no to AA, been there done that...it helps, but not for me...

I manned up years ago, that why I'm asking for advise...

Drinking is not a cowards way out for me, just boredom it seems....would be happy to share my woes with anyone who may be curious...no hard luck story, so to speak....just a s**t thing that happened, that led to a change of lifestyle...one that involves, well everything you could think of...hobby job wise, perhaps hearing?

Nore more AA advice...someone somewhere had a buddy that drank too much, and they got a kick in the Butt....so to speak

[Ram07]

messages crossed...I have a buddy from back in the day that was an alcoholic, saw him lose everything...not like him....just starting on the wrong path that he went down...

[Ram07]

"Not a full blown drunk yet...so don't insult me when asking for advice"

You ask us for advice and we're offering our hearts to you. The full on defensiveness in your sentence above tells the story.

and I can say I have a problem, but...not a drunk yet....trying to avoid that...and thank you...advice is good....I may be stubborn....no AA...tried it....just not for me....

[myk]

I'm a firm believer that people are 99% responsible for how their lives go; I say 99% because you can't help it if one day you step outside and a piano or a safe falls and kills you.  If you want your life to be a certain way then you have to look at yourself in the mirror and declare that's EXACTLY how you're going to live your life and MAKE it that way; it's all about self-control, discipline, and the understanding that you will fail/fall every once in a while, but the key is to learn from it and not let it stop your progress. 

I think support groups, counseling and peer involvement can help some people; personally I think we give too much credit to these things, because ultimately it's YOU that is responsible for initiating the changes (for better or worse) in your life.  So if you think you have a drinking problem don't wait for external inspiration; start by changing things right here, right now, and then use the aforementioned support pieces to maintain yourself.  Let your mind and will control your life, don't let life control your mind and your will...

[Ram07]

yes, I agree...

Believe it or not, I am one of those that support folks, nothing interferes with my work life....

I'm looking for a alternative type of help, if you will....one that maybe puts me in my place...if ya know what I mean...or, something like it....

Today was bad, I'm weak theses days....I'm on beer 17. no shit....but...well....got nothin'....

Go back to work Thursday....won't drink after tonight.......this is where i seem to be lost, but I know what I mean...

and yeah, my fault, ima dumbass....now need to change things up...

[XH29N0G]

No harm intended with my post.  Just trying to give an honest opinion and to help.  In cases I know I have seen AA work.  If that is not for you, find something else that works for you.  For me, hanging in and getting a good dose of getting perspective on what is important in the long haul keeps my balance.  It stinks when things are bad, but even if it takes time, it will get better, and it sounds like you are already planning how to do that. 

[polywideblock]

found myself going down this road after my marriage of 27 years went south       ,I put limits on myself   
          nothing!!! till after tea (dinner) made myself stick to it, was hard when you just want to forget everything and wallow in self pity but it can be done .
the hard part is getting out of bed in the morning , try getting an old fashioned alarm clock and put it near your bedroom door so you have to get out of bed  to turn it off  . once your out, STAY OUT  no booze   and go to work.   its really up to you to get on your own case , I'm proof it can be done just be an asshole to yourself (no mercy) 
              hope your situation improves  (probably the wrong thing to put here but  )

[Paul G]

I have no advice, never been where you are. I can only ask two questions. 1) Where would you like to see yourself a year from now? 2) What do you have to do to get yourself there?

A person can quit drinking, quit smoking, quit over eating, doesn't matter what the crutch is. You have to want to quit, for yourself, for your own well being. There is only one you!   

[ws23rt]

There are many like you in that you say you are a supportive type and the problem you have does not affect your life or your job.

Helping others as you say you do is what you need to do for yourself.

How is it that you can be good counsel for someone else and deny your self the same?

Also asking for advice from strangers and friends like you did tells a tale. And your cherry picking the advice you hear is not a good sign. It feels like you just need a pat on the back and understanding that you are bummed.

Do you need your mom to take away something? Or your dad to spank you?   Grow the fuck up.

Some need to see the bottom to climb back up. ---Is that you?

Edit---The Philip Seymore Hoffman topic seems to fit with this thread.  This man has been through what you are going through and more.  If you think you have control of your chosen drug ask again.---- Who is in charge here?----

[twodko]

I have to agree here.

Keep in mind that this is a family forum yeah?

[General_01]

The issue seems to be down time, so you need to keep yourself busy. Is there anything you want to change around the house? Painting, redoing a bathroom, landscape the yard? Offer to help friends with any home projects they have going on.

Or you could volunteer for things around town on your days off.

Just make plans to go do something on your days off. 

[ws23rt]

I have to agree here.

Keep in mind that this is a family forum yeah?

I apologize for the language but don't want to edit it. Some words have force that is of value. My daughter is surprised when I use the word and I tell her there is a place for the power of words and if they are misused the power is lost.

[Ram07]

There are many like you in that you say you are a supportive type and the problem you have does not affect your life or your job.

Helping others as you say you do is what you need to do for yourself.

How is it that you can be good counsel for someone else and deny your self the same?

Also asking for advice from strangers and friends like you did tells a tale. And your cherry picking the advice you hear is not a good sign. It feels like you just need a pat on the back and understanding that you are bummed.

Do you need your mom to take away something? Or your dad to spank you?   Grow the fuck up.

Some need to see the bottom to climb back up. ---Is that you?

Edit---The Philip Seymore Hoffman topic seems to fit with this thread.  This man has been through what you are going through and more.  If you think you have control of your chosen drug ask again.---- Who is in charge here?----

All replies welcome...I'm in charge of me...maybe my Mom taking something away would be good, but she died last year, the father has been dead for many years...going into a program, is much more difficult than you think.....probably a person like you in real life would be helpful....got some empathy, but no sympathy...and know...I have not seen the bottom...

[Ram07]

I have to agree here.

Keep in mind that this is a family forum yeah?

Don't know if this is directed at me, but...what's your point...a guy asking for advice seems okay to me...




And, started painting the house today, to keep busy!

[dkn1997]

Not gonna say my life story...was not so bad until a few years ago!

Thinking I did just fine as far as responsibility goes, still doing it...little girl is in university, and being well taken care of...

Now, it's just me...I think perhaps...things are not going so well for me....beer. perhaps...well yeah...beer!

So. if anyone has a suggestion, besides AA...I'm all ears....I don't drink daily...or have withdraw, and continue to work...just part time, but do it well...no problems there...

But, I'm kinda fucked...sorry...I think....lots of days off, and those days...are not cool...I'm on my 17th right now...so yeah...

Did called for some little counseling...seems odd....I'm one that does it....sooo..

Yeah, real guys, unknown to me, how do you give yourself a kick in the ass, and snap otta shit?


Suggestions...?

Hi.  Id suggest getting a ride to an AA meeting.  NOW.  You are in a mess right now and that doesnt make you bad. You admitted you have a problem and thats great.  Now get some help.  Its not ok to keep doing this.  I dont want to sound harsh but you are a drunk.  Not all drunks lose the job or get bombed every day and live on the street.  Go to a few meetings....go sober and listen.  

Thanks for that tid bit...I know what I am...been to AA in the past...not for me...

Not a full blown drunk yet...so don't insult me when asking for advice...I just see a pattern happening, that I don't
want to follow...


ask for advice, be accused of being a drunk right away....

Maybe the "tough love" isnt right approach but i promise you one thing:  some of the advice you have gotten here that amounts to get a hobby wont fix whats broken in you.  Hell,man....we are all broken in some way.  You come on here and ask for suggestions from a group of strangers.  Some of them have already shared their own experiences with you....thats exactly what goes on in person with real people in AA or any other type of group. You have to know this because you said you went for a little.  Im curious why it wasnt for you when you went?  I sincerely wish you well.  There are people in my life on both ends of the spectrum: in recovery and in denial. Like you, ill spare everyone my life story but the condensed version is the ones in denial never lost a job, lost a house, dont drink every day, and are great people.  Great people that i respect and have hurt me more than anyone ever has. Great people i love whos phone calls i now screen if its after 6pm

[ws23rt]

There are many like you in that you say you are a supportive type and the problem you have does not affect your life or your job.

Helping others as you say you do is what you need to do for yourself.

How is it that you can be good counsel for someone else and deny your self the same?

Also asking for advice from strangers and friends like you did tells a tale. And your cherry picking the advice you hear is not a good sign. It feels like you just need a pat on the back and understanding that you are bummed.

Do you need your mom to take away something? Or your dad to spank you?   Grow the fuck up.

Some need to see the bottom to climb back up. ---Is that you?

Edit---The Philip Seymore Hoffman topic seems to fit with this thread.  This man has been through what you are going through and more.  If you think you have control of your chosen drug ask again.---- Who is in charge here?----

All replies welcome...I'm in charge of me...maybe my Mom taking something away would be good, but she died last year, the father has been dead for many years...going into a program, is much more difficult than you think.....probably a person like you in real life would be helpful....got some empathy, but no sympathy...and know...I have not seen the bottom...

There is no need to see the bottom.  But knowing how far down it is should scare the sh-t out of you.

I have seen people at the bottom in passing and in my family.  A few years ago my sister was at the bottom. I and our siblings did an intervention to keep her off the streets. She did well for a year and a half but her old ways took her life.

She only had herself to take care of but could not even do that.

You have a family to care for? If so do that at least. Than you can let yourself go as you will.  But don't forget the empact it will have on those that care for you and will wonder for ever if there was something they could have done to help you.

We don't go through this life alone. What you do to yourself affects many others that you care for.

[ACUDANUT]

Ram, I am with you on this boat.  I feel your pain. Do you have a wife or girlfriend ?  It sounds like you need to get out of the house and have fun.