Border Trouble !!! Need Help or Advice !!

[Big Sugar]

Hey Guy's I need a Contact at Homeland Security, Or any help Crossing into the US for the June 10
Cema Show in Detroit.
Back in January I was on my way to the Detriot Auto Show with a couple of friends, We went thru the typical border crossing routine, intil things went sour. Our customs Office was not very friendly and before I
knew it I was told i would not be Entering the US for quite some time......? I questioned there reasoning as I have had no Trouble crossing..........EVER ! I'm 41 years old. Seems I failed to disclose my complete history during the routine  Questioning. Here it is. When I was 17 I was charged with  possesion of stolen property ,(car stereo), I received a suspended sentence (no fine, no time, basically a warning). Then when I was 22 I was charged with a DUI. Again I was handed a mild $50 fine 30 day suspension. Almost 20 years later this happens.
  I am now aware that The USA's Homeland Security's policy will not allow Convicted Criminals to cross their
border, It's been that way forever but now it's being more thuroughly enforced.
I've now applied for a US Travel waiver that will give me permission to enter the US ($750) but this waiver takes  16 to 24 months to process. Oddly enough I can travel anywhere else in the world
              I NEED A SHORTCUT!!!!! Just for this event !!
I accept full responcibility for my past and fully understand the policys that Homeland Security has in place.
I'm not a Politition ,Rock Star or a Buisness Tycoon, Im Just a average Canadian that has a Hobby.Chargers.

If anyone knows of a safe loophole or contact that can allow me into the USA for a long weekend in June
Please let me know, I'm Desperate.

[The Ghoul]

wow, all i have ever had to do was declare my citizenship, state the nature of my visit and lie thru my theeth when they ask if I have any thing to declare.

[derailed]

Unfortunatly theres not to many loopholes as far as that goes getting into the US. I think your only options are to pay the stupid fine and get your certificate that says youve got your mind right since your mishaps umteen million years ago but that wont help for the sema show. I cross the border alot for my work up here in NY and a few months ago we were coming back into the US and the guy gave my coworker a hard time. Hes a US citizen and a Gulf war vet so needless to say he went ape shit on the border patrol kid  rightfully so.

[Big Sugar]

Well there's no fine to be paid ,,I've alrady paid for a waiver. I just need a place to plea .






Ron

[hemihead]

Sorry to hear.But since 9/11 it seems the way it is now.You can thank the terrorists for the problem you have now.And everyone says that terrorism has nothing to do with them so why should they care.It can affect everyone.

[Telvis]

Okay, here's what you do. Go to the border and tell them Telvis said you are okay. You will have to give the secret handshake and code phrases to confirm you are legitimate. They will initially act like they don't understand. They might even act like they are agitated. It's only an act. They can't let everyone know that I have this kind of influence. The secret handshake involved a slight tickling of the border guards palm with your index finger as you shake his hand. Once the handshake is complete you must raise your middle finger and have it point to the sky as to indicate he is number one. The code phrase is "narcotics mule". At that point they will privately escort you into the US via a secret entrance. They will probably handcuff you so that any bystanders will think you have been arrested. They can't let everyone know the secret entry method. Once you have been handcuffed it is important to say the last part of the secret code phrase "narcotics are in rectum". That's when they will take you into the VIP area before escorting you through the secret entrance. Please don't let anyone know I told you about this. It's a well kept secret. 

[MyMopar]

How far are you from any US border.  Can't you just go to the border and do a "test" and see if you get through?  I can't believe that they wouldn't let you through just because of some stupid stuff in the past. 
My dad travels to Canada (US Citizen) and he has a record, done some time and is pretty good now.  He never once had a problem, going either way.
I say run a test, say you are visiting some relatives and you are meeting in Detroit (or wherever). Then see what happens, but remember to act all shooked and confused if they give you a hard time.

[BB1]

 

[Big Sugar]

Great Telvis I may use that as a last resort. Tickle with the finger eh ?     

Thanks MyMopar but now that I've been flagged on the American side,Crossing over wihout some sort of permission could get me in a big mess and I all possesions I'm travelling with may be confiscated. BAD NEWS
My only hope is to Cross Legaly I'm not taking any unnessesary chances.

Cudahob3 I'll need to bring the Charger as well .....Thats a Big Cannon !

If any one has any connections that may clear a little smoke please PM me.



Ron

[Ponch ®]

If you were trying to cross through the other border, I would put you in contact with an acquaintance of mine, Julio, who makes regular trips to Tijuana in his big white van...


hmmm...the Canadian border huh. I see a bussiness opportunity here.

[Big Sugar]

Good one ! LOL.




Ron

[The Ghoul]

you could always pay me to marry you for citizenship 
just think its so disgusting of a thought no one would question it.

[TruckDriver]

Okay, here's what you do. Go to the border and tell them Telvis said you are okay. You will have to give the secret handshake and code phrases to confirm you are legitimate. They will initially act like they don't understand. They might even act like they are agitated. It's only an act. They can't let everyone know that I have this kind of influence. The secret handshake involved a slight tickling of the border guards palm with your index finger as you shake his hand. Once the handshake is complete you must raise your middle finger and have it point to the sky as to indicate he is number one. The code phrase is "narcotics mule". At that point they will privately escort you into the US via a secret entrance. They will probably handcuff you so that any bystanders will think you have been arrested. They can't let everyone know the secret entry method. Once you have been handcuffed it is important to say the last part of the secret code phrase "narcotics are in rectum". That's when they will take you into the VIP area before escorting you through the secret entrance. Please don't let anyone know I told you about this. It's a well kept secret. 

[Bandit72]

Cudahob3 I'll need to bring the Charger as well .....Thats a Big Cannon !





Ron

here ya go!!!

BOOM Shakalaka!!!

later 

[dkn1997]

if it makes you feel any better, it works both ways.  My brother lives in the buffalo are and got a DUI.  he's not allowed in canada for quite some time, something like 3-5 years they told him. 

[derailed]

if it makes you feel any better, it works both ways.  My brother lives in the buffalo are and got a DUI.  he's not allowed in canada for quite some time, something like 3-5 years they told him. 

Canada has always been pretty strict on there borders, alot of guys I work with are not allowed over the border for some really stupid reasons like writing bad checks. The US started toughening up there act about time, but who knows, maybe theyll do something stupid like turn over the border patrol to the arabs like the ports.

[adauto]

It's easy to get in...can you swim???

[derailed]

dont worry they got that covered as well. I pass through the border 2 or 3 times a week on the train and they now have an X ray scanner that scans the entire train for unwanted passengers and mysterious looking objects that arent suppose to be there. Ive talked to some of the guys and they tell me about some of the other ways they catch people using infra red out in the open fields, pretty cool. They caught a ring of car thieves once shipping high end cars on the train over seas but the bills were for a chevy chevette in the container. Somone put 2 and 2 together and wondered why they were spending 4 times what the car was worth to ship it and decided to crack the container open and surprise.

[Big Sugar]

Lotsa laughs,..... But I really need Help on this one....... Besides my 66 can't swim !




Ron

[Ponch ®]

The US started toughening up there act about time, but who knows, maybe theyll do something stupid like turn over the border patrol to the arabs like the ports.

no, theyll leave border security to the mexicans.

[Shakey]

Lotsa laughs,..... But I really need Help on this one....... Besides my 66 can't swim !




Ron

Ron sorry I can't help.  I suggest you contact a lawyer, depending on how bad you need to get into the United States.

While I am at it....

Over 10 years ago myself and three other guys had tickets for a "home & home" for the Red Wings vs. the Maple Leafs.  That is when they play two games in two consecutive nights in each city.  Friday we went to Maple Leaf Gardens and watched the game and the next morninig we drove to Detroit to catch the game at Joe Louis Arena.  Only three of us were able to cross the border.  Our buddy Dave, whom we called Super Dave, was not allowed into the United States.  We checked into the hotel room and stole an extra bed sheet and mad a huge banner that Dave would be able to see on TV that night.

"GO LEAFS GO"
"WISH YOU WERE HERE SUPER DAVE"
"TOO BAD YOU CAN'T CROSS THE BORDER"

We picked him up in Windsor on Sunday and he said they showed it on TV and the annoucers had a good laugh.  Many people at home saw it also and knew the story before we even got back.

[MyMopar]

Lotsa laughs,..... But I really need Help on this one....... Besides my 66 can't swim !




Ron

Ron sorry I can't help.  I suggest you contact a lawyer, depending on how bad you need to get into the United States.

While I am at it....

Over 10 years ago myself and three other guys had tickets for a "home & home" for the Red Wings vs. the Maple Leafs.  That is when they play two games in two consecutive nights in each city.  Friday we went to Maple Leaf Gardens and watched the game and the next morninig we drove to Detroit to catch the game at Joe Louis Arena.  Only three of us were able to cross the border.  Our buddy Dave, whom we called Super Dave, was not allowed into the United States.  We checked into the hotel room and stole an extra bed sheet and mad a huge banner that Dave would be able to see on TV that night.

"GO LEAFS GO"
"WISH YOU WERE HERE SUPER DAVE"
"TOO BAD YOU CAN'T CROSS THE BORDER"

We picked him up in Windsor on Sunday and he said they showed it on TV and the annoucers had a good laugh.  Many people at home saw it also and knew the story before we even got back.

That's good stuff, nice to have friends like you 

Well I can't really add anymore, seeing how you've been flagged. I really just can't believe the reasoning for not letting you cross.  You can go out of country right, say to Europe or the Carribean? but can't cross into the US?  Really strange.

[Big Sugar]

It's very strange. I'm planning a trip to Germany/Holland later this year, I talked to my Lawyer and travelling anywhere else in the world is no problem. even Mexico I Crossed over the US Border 3 times last year,
with absolutly no trouble. Get this I was told to be very carefull if i plan a trip that has a US stop over,I could be held for any lenght of time just for Questioning Anyway I understand this is a screwy system we have
But Someone must know someone with a connection.
Basically I need a Homeland security permission slip,............ I need a contact with a heart.


Ron

[Shakey]

It's very strange. I'm planning a trip to Germany/Holland later this year, I talked to my Lawyer and travelling anywhere else in the world is no problem. even Mexico I Crossed over the US Border 3 times last year,
with absolutly no trouble. Get this I was told to be very carefull if i plan a trip that has a US stop over,I could be held for any lenght of time just for Questioning Anyway I understand this is a screwy system we have
But Someone must know someone with a connection.
Basically I need a Homeland security permission slip,............ I need a contact with a heart.


Ron

There is a US Customs Agent who posts on Moparts.  He seems very helpful whenever people ask him questions.  Poke around over there a bit, his user name is quite obvious.

[Big Sugar]

Thanks Shakey !! I'll give it a try.

Ron

[RECHRGD]

Wrap a turbin around your head.  If they give you a hard time, yell, RACIST AMERICAN PIGS!!  The ACLU will show up with a Limo and chauffer you to the show.
Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Big Sugar]

Ha !!! Thats a good one !!




Thanks for the laugh !
Ron