Lucas Electrical Explained

[Fred]

A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke 
by Joseph Lucas

Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of
smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components - especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

"A gentleman does not motor about after dark."

Joseph Lucas (1842 - 1903)

[Tilar]

Has to be true. Every time the smoke went out of one of my wiring circuits it quit working almost immediately. 

[Fred]

But do you reckon there's any truth to........."A gentleman not motoring about after dark." ? 

[burnout.dawg]

Only gentlemen Fred...doesn't mean the rest of us. 

[Fred]

Well that explains it. I feel better now.  For a minute there I thought there might be something wrong with me.  

[ITSA426]

An old friend once explained that the British drink warm beer because their refrigerators use Lucas electrical systems.

[stripedelete]

I believe he is refferred to as "Sir Joseph Lucus" - Prince of Darkness

[A383Wing]

Well that explains it. I feel better now.  For a minute there I thought there might be something wrong with me.  

I'm sure Mr's Fred will tell us all that is wrong with you, but I don't think there is enough "forum bandwidth" to cover it all

[fy469rtse]

Very funny , fred
just had my first laugh of the day , that a classic , going to send that one to friends who are eletricians

[Fred]