Update on my dad

[bull]

I just wanted to let you guys know that my dad passed away on Sunday morning at 3:25 am. Rather than try explaining all of his ailments I'll just say he died from complications involving emphysema. He and mom were in a hospital near Phoenix, AZ and he died shortly after being transported to a hospace facility a few miles away. Even though his health had been getting steadily worse over the past few years it really took a sharp nosedive over the last couple months to the point where he could no longer function and retain an acceptable oxygen level without a mask.

My brother and I went to see him on Feb. 11 and we could tell he wasn't going to make it much longer. I'm glad we went when we did because although he was in bad shape he was still very lucent and talkative. The doctors think he may have had a mini stroke last Friday night because he could no longer respond to my mom or the doctors Saturday morning. His breathing became very erratic Saturday night and by Sunday morning he had passed away.

My mom has some loose ends to tie up there in Phoenix before coming back as she was left with a pickup and RV to deal with. My brother and I will likely be flying down there in the weeks to come to help her with that and any other personal effects once she decides her next move. She has help from several friends and family members at the moment but we will go as soon as she requests it. We have been in contact with her every day for the past few weeks helping her through the process.

We are thankful that dad passed very peacefully and is now in a better place considering all the complications and suffering he endured these last two weeks. Please pray for our family, especially mom, while we sort things out.

BTW, if anyone is looking for a 1995 Dodge 3500 Cummins dually pickup and/or a 35' 5th wheel with two slide outs, they're both going to be up for sale before too long. I'm not trying to make this into a cheesy for sale ad but I just don't want my mom to have to deal with that kind of petty BS right now. If we could sell them quick she'd have a loss less headaches. The pickup needs a head gasket. We were quoted $1,200 to repair it.

PS--smoking kills. I've seen it.

[NHCharger]

Bull, I am very sorry to hear about your Dad.

[dart3404]

Very sorry to hear about that Bull.

[Shakey]

Hi Bull,

Sorry to hear about the loss of your Father.  Although I am 37 I still have yet to deal with a loss like that.  Sorry for what you are going through.  Be strong for your Mother and your Children.  Hang in there.

Sincerely,
Shakey

[ITSA426]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[TruckDriver]

I'm sorry about your dad Bull

[BB1]

My condolences to you and your family. 

[Just 6T9 CHGR]

My condolences...

[CB]

I wish you strenght.

[nh_mopar_fan]

My sympathies on your loss.

[Mopar440+6]

My condolences to you and your family Bull.

[dd44068]

My condolences Bull to you and your family

[triple_green]

Hi Curtis,

Sorry to hear about this.

Sounds like you are doing everything you can for your mom.

I'll pray for peace for you and your family.

Mark

[skip68]

Sorry to hear that Bull.  I hope you stay close to your mother as she will need you.  Prayers for your family.   Chuck...............

[volk68]

Sorry for your loss Bull.  I will be praying for you and your family.

[Doc74]

My condolences Bull

[Brock Samson]

  Sorry.
You and your family are in my prayers.

[Plumcrazy]

Very sorry to hear of your loss.

[bull]

Thanks for all your kind comments. I'm doing pretty good with it at the moment. I really feel sorry for everyone in our family, not just because of his death but because of the missed opportunities to have a close family. My dad was a hardass and had a lot of anger issues that were taken out on us when we were growing up. He also enjoyed pretending he was a simpleton. He would always pretend he had no knowledge of current events or complex ideas but it was a ruse to protect himself from getting close to anyone. If you always pretend you can't discuss deep topics no one will bother bringing up any confrontational emotion such as love or regret. Don't get me wrong, he enjoyed confrontations, as long as he wasn't on the receiving end of the fallout, but they never had anything to do with things that really mattered.

Anyway, I don't want this thread to fall into the "too much information" category but since there's some anonymity here I feel like I can say some things I wouldn't say to the people that knew him. It helps to get it off my chest. As soon as I found out he was going down hill so fast I wrote a letter to him and said some things that I needed to say in a positive slant before he died. I obviously had some things to say because I banged out a 600-word letter in 30 minutes and faxed it to my mom so she could read it to him. He died less than 24 hours later. Rather than approach my words from an accusing position I just wrote the letter assuming he has regrets as a father and forgave him for those shortcomings. I also said I had regrets for not reaching out to him more. I know he was listening too because his terminal illness had broken down all the walls he had built around himself over the past 70 years. I guess when it comes right down to it even the toughest man needs the love of his family. I know I do. I just hope I can learn from his mistakes and be a better (much better) father than he was.

[Telvis]

Well said. God Bless you and your family. I have lost both of my parents. I understand what you are going through.

[bad1032]

Yes it is rough when you  loose a parent or both, Keep you head up and your in our prayers, For those who have your parents cherish every minute you can with them.

[694spdRT]

My sympathies on the loss of your dad.

[ChargerAndy]

Curtis,
    From our house to yours, you are in our prayers. It will get easier with time, I lost my Dad last June. It's good that you saw him and wrote that letter and I bet it made his passing more peaceful.  God Bless! Andy

PS. I tried to pm you in return about that other stuff, but your in-box is full. About those things I sold ya, feel free to resell if it helps your Charger effort. I will send roller as soon as I find it, N/C, just pm me your address again...... when ever you're ready. Andy

[Lowprofile]

You and your family are in my prayers, brother. Take care.  

[Khyron]

I'm Sorry for you loss man

[Charger_Fan]

I'm glad you were able to communicate your feelings of forgiveness before he died. I'm sure it did both of you a world of good & possibly helped him pass more peacefully.

My condolences to you & your family, from one of the many friends you've never met (yet).

[my73charger]

Very sorry to hear about your Dad Bull.  I lost my mom to cancer in August.  She couldn't kick the habit, they found cancer from her lungs to her kidneys and liver.  My thoughts and prayers are with you as I know this isn't easy.

[BigBlackDodge]

Sorry to hear of your loss Bull.

BBD

[Afturhrz]

Sorry for your loss, may god be with you.

[chargermick]

Sorry Bull, you and your family will be in our prayers.

[Johnny SixPack]

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Bull.

It's never easy losing a parent, and especially so when you feel there are things that could have been done differently/better.

I respect your decision to lay things out on the table as you did, and really wish I had done the same.

You and your family all have my thoughts and prayers, as I have been in the same boat with my mom for the last month.

Already lost my dad back in 2002 to cancer, and just don't want to lose her too.

Stay strong, man.


Johnny

[MoparMotel]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[Chryco Psycho]

My condolences
Call me if you want to talk

[Drop Top]

Like you said, he's in a much better place with no suffering now. Your a good son by helping out as much as you are able. But, It takes more out of you then you will realize. So be sure to take care of yourself also. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

[TeeWJay426]

Sorry for your loss, Bull- my condolences to you and the rest of your family. I lost my Dad 10 years ago; also smoking related- so I know what you're going through. You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

[4402tuff4u]

My condolences to you and your family Bull. I went through what you did 3 years ago. I saw my dad before he passed away and basically told him that even though things could have been different between all of us in the family, everything is "ok" and all the wrongs in both sides are forgiven. He agreed and several days later he passed away in peace. Remember we must all forgive to be forgiven.   

[beenaround]

god bless bull.

[bull]

Thanks again for all your kind comments. Understandably my mom is very disoriented right now and is having trouble focusing on all the things that need to be done. Fortunately she has a nephew and a pastor there who are helping out but she's still kind of 'sweating the small stuff' right now instead of the big things that need attention. I've been helping her out with the larger issues by getting the life insurance payout started and getting her some information on changing dad's Social Security over to her name. I think she relied pretty heavily on his decisiveness to get things done and now she's kind of lost without that strong influence. She's been married since she was 18 and now she's pushing 70 so I can see how it would be tough for her to function on her own. Hopefully things will get squared away soon and settle down so she can start to grieve without worrying about more paperwork.

[General_01]

Very sorry to hear that bull. Your family will be in our thoughts.

[R2]

Sorry to hear about your Dad....
I lost my Dad when I was 26,,,,I miss him,,,,he was a bit of a "hardass" as well at times,,,but had a soft side that showed thru once in a while....maybe it was the way he (ie my dad),,was brought up,,,kinda tough love if you will....
I, like you,,,choose to do things a bit different with my kids,,,ie,,lots of communication, hugs, and pats on the back,,,
Again, sorry to hear of you lose,,,,,will say a prayer for your family,,,including your Mom,,,,
Have you ever heard what "F-A-M-I-L-Y" stands for ??
F-ather A-nd M-other I L-ove Y-ou.........my four year old told me this the other day,,,kinda choked me up when he said it,,,,take care,
Doug (R2)

[Darkness]

Didn't catch this thread soon enough. Just wanted to say sorry Bull about your dad. You thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.