Jokes to ponder

[1973_WP29P]

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because  it's worth it.
         
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
         
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
         
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
         
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
         
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
         
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
         
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
         
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
         
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
         
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
         
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
         
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
         
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
         
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
         
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time.."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit....

[ChargerRob]